


The Sun Will Rise

by KellCavs, Miscellaneousmando, SalmonellaSangre, sydnubabu



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempted Hostage Situation, Attempted robbery, Blood and Gore, Bomb mention, Bombs, Breaking and Entering, Canon-Typical Violence, Drunk Sex, F/M, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Guns, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, No use of y/n, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Period-Typical Sexism, Sexual Harassment, Stalking, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22566235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellCavs/pseuds/KellCavs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneousmando/pseuds/Miscellaneousmando, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalmonellaSangre/pseuds/SalmonellaSangre, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydnubabu/pseuds/sydnubabu
Summary: You just went out to the store - but life has an interesting way of working things out.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Original Female Character(s), Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A collaborative fic from the Discord server C3P-Hoes - tumblrs listed at the bottom.

Rain. It consumed Bogotá’s lush forests and streets in a cloak of darkness and freezing downpours. The grey blotted sky had grown pitch black as evening came, the roads hardly navigable through the fog. However, thick waves of fog couldn’t stop a man from seeking out the comfort of cheap alcohol. Agent Javier Peña stood idly in the freezer section of the modest convenience store around the corner from his apartment, the crisp burst of air that rushed at him brought momentary discomfort. Flicking through the cases of beer, Javi tried to find the best dates, not wanting them to go to waste in some shitty convenience shop in Bogotá. 

_Funny joke, Javier,_ he rolled his eyes at himself. Javier Peña? Not finish alcohol? Never in a million years. He had come to the convenience store to pick up some more beer after he had polished off his case at home about a half-hour ago. 

When he entered the shop, he noted a young woman in the aisle that held potato chips sold for an exorbitant price. She was small –– harmless enough –– No threat there. A young mother-to-be in a waitress uniform was at the freezer to the right of Javi looking at cartons of eggs.

He noted no ring on her finger. If Javi could go out and simply pick people to give a US visa to, he would pick women like this. Poor young ladies who got ditched by the asshole that knocked them up. The young mother took her eggs to the counter and made her purchase. The front bell above the door jingled as she left. 

A few moments later, the bell rang again. There was a few moments of quiet shuffling and then––

“Pinche cabrón with your pendejo ass mierda shit! Get your damn hands off me, fuckin' pendejo!"

Javi paused, his hand raised halfway to a six-pack –– an American? It had to be the other young woman who was in the store. He hadn't seen anyone else. It had been quite a while since he had met another American that wasn't DEA, especially not one with such a lovely voice. He knew almost every female in a four-mile radius –– but this was a new one, and his interest was piqued. _Is it a breakup?_

He wasn't ruling out the worst due to his already buzzed state of mind from the few beers he’d finished at home. He understood. He'd had his share of nasty public breakups from time to time. _Who hasn't?_ Always embarrassing and uncomfortable. It was better not to get involved unless it turned physical.

Something clattered to the ground, and then came the sound of breaking glass. It was then that Javi’s sense of responsibility as a government agent finally kicked in, pushing him to investigate despite his better judgment. 

From where he was standing, Javi picked up on the voices of two men conversing rather vulgarly. A low, gruff voice barked commands and threats at the woman, who responded with strings of profanities. He slowly closed the freezer door and reached for the gun he tucked into the waistband of his Levi's as he rounded the corner, hoping for the element of surprise. He kept his gun low but ready as he peeked around the corner.

Before him, two masked men were pointing guns at a young lady who was still growling and cursing in Spanish. “You gonna point the gun at me or feel me up? Can’t do both, pendejo.” The woman was putting up a nasty fight, one that wouldn't end well for her if this continued. Javi closed in on the situation before it could progress any further, not wanting there to be the death of an American on his hands. The embassy would have a fucking field day with that one. He caught the attention of the cashier, who was frantically calling the police at that very moment. 

"¡Que te den por culo, zorra!” The larger of the two growled, raising his gun to shoot at the woman. She gave a startled cry and tried to move away from him with her arms raised slightly. The sudden outburst startled Javi from his thoughts about those blowhards at the embassy, snapping him back into the eerie glowing aisle in which he lurked. The buzzing fluorescents overhead were deafening in the otherwise too-calm silence of the store, broken only by the twang of grainy music from a small radio on the counter.

 _That's it_. Javi jumped in, gun raised, and badge in hand. ”¡Alto! Deja tu arma; te doy hasta tres.” Upon noticing a witness, an officer of the law, no less, the other man went to grab the girl to put her in a headlock, quickly attempting to escalate this into a hostage situation. The girl thwarted his attempts as she ducked under his arm and scurried to the side, diving behind one of the shelves for cover as the larger man fired at Javi. The shot caused him to retreat before returning fire from behind a rack of sunglasses. The case of cigarettes behind the counter exploded when it was hit by a stray bullet. Could have been someone's head. Lucky for the clerk, he had dropped to the ground after phoning the police, or else his head would have been all over the wall.

*******

The rain had finally ceased by the time the would-be robbers were detained and arrested. You were milling about, being passed from officer to officer, giving the same story every single time. “I was trying to buy chips and beer, the one grabbed at my ass and then pulled a gun on me when I called him out. Yes, sir, that’s right––I got in their way of robbing the place. A bonus to their heist. No, I don’t know them, sir. No, sir, I'm not a prostitute."

The officer who had saved you in the store began to weasel his way through the crowds, catching you after the last man had heard your story. Unlike the other stone-faced officers, he was full of life against the dreary grey skies and the blinding flash of the patrol cars. He beamed at you once he spotted you, gently calling for your attention. He was taller than you––handsomely dressed in a leather jacket and jeans, hair tousled from all the commotion. “Señorita, are you ok? I didn’t have a chance to properly ask nor introduce myself,” He extended his hand for you to take, “Agent Javier Peña, though you can call me Javi.”

“You’re American!”

Javi nodded. “So are you.”

“Oh! Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Agent Peña, and thank you again for saving my life,” you grasped his hand before introducing yourself. It was large and warm––palm rough but in a sense in which he would not be the same without that texture. He repeated your name with interest, almost as if he was testing which way sounded best as it rolled off his tongue. Just then, Agent Peña was called to by another officer. As he walked away, he motioned for you to stay. “One moment, I’ll be back soon.” 

You sat on the ground, trying to listen to the officers talk to each other. Though Javi, as he insisted you call him, was paying more attention to you than the active crime scene around you. It was tedious, and you wished the night would come to an end quickly. You felt exhausted. All you wanted was to go home, throw yourself onto your bed, and cry. Though, luckily for you, Agent Peña––Javi, you reminded yourself again, was doing an excellent job of distracting you. He turned toward you and rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, letting you know that even cops think these proceedings go on for too long. It brought a smile to your face knowing this officer was trying to comfort you, even just a little.

You had goosebumps, more from jitters and confusion than the chilly night air –– everything had happened so quickly, and you barely had enough time to process the whole ordeal. Really, you barely noticed you were trembling at all until––

“Señorita, come here.” Javi beckoned you over to him. You watched as he slipped off his jacket, revealing toned arms. “Put this on so you don’t get any colder; I can't have a lovely girl like you catching a cold. Also, it just isn't right to have a lady sit on the muddy ground like that.”

Slowly, you got up from the safety of the ground and right into Javi’s leather jacket. Your hands were slightly shaking as they slipped into the sleeves, your body engulfed by the warmth that he had left behind.

“How about I take you out for a drink, señorita? To calm the nerves and celebrate new friendships, no? After they take your statement, of course.” He winked, a handsome grin lighting up his face. 

“A few drinks would be pretty nice right now, thank you.” You needed something to wash away the dreadful feeling that lingered in the pit of your stomach as the adrenaline wore off. “Do you always offer your jacket to victims of attempted robbery, Agent Peña?

He helped you zipper it, being respectful as much as he was being flirty.“No, just the pretty ones.”

Usually, the smell of the leather mixed with the faint scent of whiskey and cigarette smoke would have been a bit harsh to your nose, and though you hated to admit it, it brought a sense of inexplicable comfort to you. It blended well with the scent of the fresh rainfall outside, and it fills your senses enough to ignore the lingering smell of gunsmoke. Javi led you away from the curbside with a reassuring hand pressed against your back. He showed you to an empty squad car and ushered you in.

“Careful, ” he murmured. His hand moved up, gently placed atop your head, guided you down, and into the backseat. A habit, you figured. You smiled at the gesture, the warm cradle of his hand was soothing against your hair, distracting you from the harshness of rainy Bogotá. Though, you couldn’t help but frown as his hand left your head, trying to get cozy as he pulled away.

“Feels a lot better in here than out there, right?” Javi nodded in response to his own question as he climbed into the driver’s seat. He turned the engine on and let warmth flood the car, just for you and him. He had already crawled into the back with you to keep you company. “Anything else that I can get for you?” He nodded his head slightly in your direction. “Do for you?”

“I’m good. I’m just still a little chilly.” 

Javi beckoned you over with his arm so that you were flush against his side with his arm around your shoulders. “How’s that? Little warmer?”

You shrugged. Here you were, in the back of a squad car, snuggling with a near stranger. As if this night could get any weirder. 

You jumped as the arresting officer opened the front door, instinctively wrapping an arm around Javi’s torso. Awkwardly, you pulled your arm back as the officer got situated so that he could take your official statement. At first, he turned to Javi, thinking he was going to have to translate for you, but you sat up a little bit straighter and piped up, “Hablo español. Puedo respondérlas.”

The officer showed mild surprise at your proclamation, but nonetheless, he continued to take your statement. You could feel Javi’s hand tracing up and down your side, and if you didn’t know better, you would say that he was just trying to be comforting. But no sooner had the officer exited the vehicle than he whispered in your ear, “You know, my lap is even warmer than where you’re sitting now.” 

Whether from sheer shock or pleasant intrigue, you let the agent maneuver you so that you were sitting on his lap. He spread his thighs and put one arm over the backseat to make room for you. It was a tight fit––the backs of cop cars are a lot smaller than they look on TV, you realized. But he was right. It was warmer.

He twirled a stray lock of your hair around his finger, and if you had been thinking clearly, you might have realized that he was breathing in the scent of your perfume. His other hand was splayed across the small of your back, the warmth from his touch radiating up your spine even through the thick leather of his jacket.

You couldn't help but lean against him and smile, feeling relaxed and almost giddy. He put you at ease, and for the life of you, you couldn't figure out why. 

Someone rapped their knuckles on the window and pulled the door open, and he immediately straightened his back and snapped to attention. _A completely different person in the span of half a second._

“Excuse me, señorita. I'll be right back." He offered you a wink and scooted you off his knee before he stood. He fixed his ruffled shirt and tucked it into his pants before he stalked over to the other officer.

There was a heated exchange between the two of them that you, sadly, could not hear. Whatever it was about, it looked entertaining. They kept tossing glances your way, and the way Javier kept his shoulders squared and placed his hands on his hips, indicated a defensive position.

The officer soon returned and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. He mumbled something to you about leaving, and you stood up to get out. You grabbed your purse and tightened the jacket around yourself. You moved to sit on the curb — you probably could have just left, but no one gave you the okay. Is that what you were waiting for? Permission? Since when did you ask permission to do anything?

A few moments later, you spotted the agent turn to where he had left you. He looked a little confused for a brief moment, his head swiveling from side to side as he looked for you.

"Agent Peña," you called, waving your hand to get his attention. His jacket sleeve engulfed your hand even as you raised your arm.

He walked over to you, broad hands curled over his belt loop, giving him a confident swagger. ”Come on, miss, I already told you—a pretty girl like you shouldn't be sitting on the ground like that.”

You shrugged, "The other officer left, and I didn't know if I should leave just yet."

”Well, how about it?" Javi held out his hand to help you up. "Come on, let me take you out for that drink I promised.”

Thankfully, the bar wasn't too far away from the store. It was one Javi apparently frequented, as he warned you about the slightly sticky tabletops. He opened the door and put a hand on your back to lead you inside.

”Agent Peña—”

“Please, call me Javi. Agent Peña is too formal for friends, and besides, reminds me of work, ” he let out a small sigh, shaking his head at his last words.

“So we’re friends? I usually get to know people better before I call them my friend,” you quipped, raising your eyebrow playfully. He certainly was a charming man, and it wasn't hard to tell that this was not the first time he had been in this kind of situation.

“Of course! I don’t just bring any person out for drinks, you know."

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah.” Agent Peña gave a confident nod as he led you into the bar. Within moments, there were some half dozen or so people, mostly young, very pretty, women, that greeted him, giggling and rubbing their hands on his biceps. They whispered things you couldn’t hear in his ears. He shrugged them off every time, a blush creeping up along his neck. He just rubbed his hand over his mouth each time it happened, growing steadily more frustrated with each greeting. The bartender greeted him last. 

He was an older gentleman, one may even say he looked out of place among the crowd of young patrons, at least a decade older than any of them. His mustache had gone white with time, and his tan face was riddled with wrinkles. 

"More _friends_ of yours, Peña?" The gentleman gave the agent a stern look before motioning for the two of you to sit down. He looked at the gaggle of disappointed women behind the two of you and shook his head. He reached over the bar to give Javi a gentle slap to the back of his head, playful like they had a long history together. They shared a brief conversation in rapid Spanish that you couldn’t follow before the bartender’s eyes fell on you. A wide, friendly smile split his face, and he turned to greet you.

“How rude of me to forget to introduce myself, señorita. I am Santíago, the owner of this fine establishment.” He gestured to the dark room and tables that were definitely sticky. “And who might you be?”

You smiled and gave him your name and shook Santíago’s hand. Agent Peña was watching the interaction with interest, or at least, he was feigning it quite believably. 

”So what did you say about not bringing everyone out for drinks?” you mumbled under your breath. You shot a glance at Javi, who clenched his fist on the bar top.

“Javier, did you use that line again about not bringing everyone out?” Santíago teased. 

Javi tried not to glower at the elderly bartender for even bringing that last part up. “How about I just get a whiskey on the rocks?” He then turned back to you with that same killer smile that he gave you earlier, his hands folded loosely as he leaned against the bar top. “Order whatever you want. I’m paying.”

“Hmmm.” Your eyes scanned the bottles behind the bar. Javi was paying -- should you go top shelf? Or keep it cool and get the house? “Can I get a whiskey sour, please? Extra cherries.” You let out a small laugh, that later Javi would admit, was very cute.

"So, _señorita Cereza_ ," he hummed, as Santíago set your glasses down in front of you. "What brings you all the way to Bogotá? Surely not all the lovely historic sites."

"Work," you replied, taking a cherry out of your glass by its stem. "I'm studying volcanic activity in Colombia. Did you know that there are _fifteen_ active volcanoes just within the borders of Colombia? And that’s not to mention the activity in Ecuador.”

You popped the cherry between your lips and tugged gently to remove it from its stem. You tried not to notice the way Javi's eyes flitted down to your mouth, or the way his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. He swallowed thickly and nodded once to steady himself. He looked away, suddenly very interested in the neon Corona sign above the bar, and shifted his weight slightly.

You took a sip of your drink, still holding the cherry stem in your fingers. “What about you? What’s your story? I mean, obviously, you’re a cop, but what do you _really_ do?” 

Javi clucked lightly and took a sip of his whiskey. “I work at the embassy, but it’s technically classified.” 

While you were listening to him, you popped the cherry stem into your mouth and began to work it into a knot with your tongue. 

“Hmm.” You twirled the cherry stem around once more, making sure the knot was secure before you opened your mouth, plucked it off your tongue, and set it on a napkin. You saw Javi’s eyebrows raise, but he didn’t say anything. “If I had to guess, based on the news back home––” You leaned closer and lowered your voice, “––You’re either CIA or DEA.” 

You pulled back to judge his reaction, swirling your finger around the rim of the glass. He smirked and took a sip of his drink, “One of those is right." 

"Let me guess––that's also classified."

Javi nodded and took another mouthful of whiskey. He swallowed and grimaced slightly. "Uh-huh," he replied. 

"Uh-huh," you shot back in the same tone.

You sat with him at the bar, body angled slightly towards him as you perched on the stool. As the crowd behind you waxed and waned, you two remained a steady sight as the evening wore on. 

The two of you amassed a small collection of glasses as you ordered several more drinks while you talked. You found yourself leaning closer to him, your chin resting against your hand to support your head as you joked and flirted.

“Cereza, if you keep drinking like a fish, you will get sick tomorrow,” Javi teased, “I would feel terrible if you woke up with a hangover the size of Bogotá.”

You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head. “I could say the same thing about you.”

Javi frowned comically and shook his head slowly as he held up his glass, gesturing to Santíago for another refill. “It takes a lot more than this to do me in, Cereza.”

"Why do you call me that? Cereza?'"

Javi leaned against the bartop with a boyish grin, tilting his head as though he was observing you and your reactions. "Well, you smell like a cherry, it's quite pretty. Also, you're cute, small, and sweet like one."

"Are you sure it isn't because of this?" You held up one of the several knotted cherry stems you had dropped onto a napkin.“Or maybe it's because when you take a bite, I'm juicy and drip down your chin?"

The agent gaped at you wordlessly for a moment before smirking. “Not too sure about the last one. Maybe you could let me test it out sometime.” Javi's grin darkened and he opened his mouth to say something else when suddenly he was interrupted by the bartender.

“Okay, you two, it's late, and I think señorita needs to head home before the rain gets any worse," Santíago insisted, eyeing Javier warily. He had seen him sniffing around here a few times, and he didn’t really like what he saw––he was too loose, too easy with the ladies. You were something special though.

”Aw, don't be like that –– we were having a moment here," the agent whined, not appreciating how the man he once considered a friend was trying to boot him out of the bar. Quickly, you jumped in before Santíago could put his two cents in again.

“I was hoping that maybe señor Peña would like to join me at my place? It's close by, and I can show off some of my bartending skills." There was the barest hint of a suggestion in the phrase. You leaned into Agent Peña, your eyes trailing up and down for a moment before you slipped off the barstool and onto your feet.

“That would be wonderful, Cereza,” he said with a smirk. The two of you bid Santíago goodbye, though you didn't quite hear what his reply was. Peña put his hand on your back, led you through the nearly empty bar to the front door, and into the wet streets outside.

It was a short walk back to your apartment, and you only slightly fumbled with your keys to get your door open. You probably should have cleaned earlier, but how could you have known that you would be bringing home a guest? It only took a second for you to clear a box of specimens off the coffee table and close all of your books. 

A few moments later, you were at the little cart in the corner, mixing up a drink that you had been known for in undergrad. The name escaped you, honestly, but you had never forgotten how to make it. It had always been a hit with your friends. Hopefully, it would stack up to whatever the agent was used to drinking.

"It's a lost art, señorita, but is that why you brought me to your place? To show off your bartending prowess?"

You laughed. "That...And I still have your jacket."

Javi chuckled, his eyes trailing along your body, still concealed by leather. “You’re right about that.” He smiled as you handed him a drink. He was spread out, comfortable, legs wide and inviting, on your shabby couch. “And here I thought that you just wanted to have sex with me.”

“That’s not completely off the table just yet,” you said with a small grin as you took a long drink from your glass. You sat beside him, one leg tucked beneath you. It was close enough for strangers, yet open enough for something more. Your bent knee lightly brushed his thigh. Neither of you pulled away.

“Sly girl.” His wink was doing things to you. You were a goner the moment he disarmed those creeps in the convenience store. He swirled the ice around in his drink before tilting up his chin and asking, “You ever been with a cop?”

You held your drink up close to your mouth and swung your free leg up so that it was draped across his lap. “You ever been with a geologist?” 

**************

You had been sitting on the couch with your drinks, listening to music, and chatting for an hour or so––maybe two. At some point, you had draped both of your legs over his lap, and he was running his hands up and down them, the fabric of your jeans rough against your skin. It was almost torturous when he would skim his fingers around your bare ankles––It was like he knew exactly what he was doing.

 _Two can play that game._ You leaned back to stretch, pushing your chest forward in the process, and you caught Javi staring at your cleavage. “Like what you see, agent?”

Javi shrugged, one arm resting on the back of the couch. “It is a really nice jacket. Although I have to say, it looks much better on you than it does on me.”

You pulled your legs back and leaned forward so that you were almost touching his arm. Looking up at him through your lashes, you said, “What about when I take off the jacket?”

Javi looked at you through hooded eyes, his lustful gaze nearly making you shiver. Slowly, he brought his hand up to your shoulder and started to slide the jacket down your arm. 

His voice was low as he said, “I think I might like it better.” You could feel goosebumps starting to appear on your arm, but the warmth of his hand soothed them away. 

When the jacket was finally off, Javi tossed it to the other side of the couch. He held your hand, turning your arm over. You got the feeling that he was examining you. “I was right,” he murmured. “I do like this better.”

The room suddenly felt about ten degrees warmer. You felt a hitch in your breath as Javi ran his hands over your bare arms. You found yourself inching closer and closer to him. So close that your body was flush against his, and any small shift would have your lips pressing together. Javi smirked, and you watched his mustache twitch. “Would you like me to kiss you, Cereza?”

You nodded and whispered, “Yes, please.” He let out a short chuckle and slowly slipped his hand behind your head, guiding your lips onto his as he closed the distance between the two of you. As close as you already were to him, you sank in even further, just letting yourself fall against him. His lips were warm and soft, but his kiss still displayed his strength, pressing forward, unyielding. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself against his chest. 

When Javi opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, you let out a soft moan. This earned a chuckle from the agent. “How long has it been since you were kissed like this?”

“It’s been a while––is it that obvious?”

“I mean, I know I’m a good kisser, but—“ Javi cut off and ran a thumb over your lips, pulling your lower lip down slightly. You rolled your lip back and sucked his thumb into your mouth. Javi let out a heavy sigh as you rolled your tongue over his thumb. He reached down to cup your ass, pulling you over so that you were straddling him. As he squeezed your ass, he pulled his thumb out and narrowed his eyes. “So this is how you were working those cherry stems.” 

You let out a giggle as Javi moved his hands back to your waist, his hands skimming over the band of your jeans. He paused, and slid his hands into your back pockets and roughly grabbed two handfuls of your ass, wrenching a surprised gasp from your throat.

"Are you not wearing any panties?" His voice was low and rough. The way he growled out the question sent a shiver up your back and a pang of arousal to your core. He tightened his grip on your ass, and he guided you to press down so your clit rocked against the bulge in his jeans.

"Why don't you find out?" It was a challenge. You raised a brow and smirked at him. You had one hand on his chest, wishing you could feel the muscles below his shirt, your other hand was clasping his shoulder. “It’s a good thing you aren't going anywhere tonight, agent.”

“Dirty girl," he growled. "How do you know I don't have other plans?” Javi gave a little moan when you took charge and rolled your hips down against him.

"That's how I know, Agent Peña."

"Sly little girl, aren't you?" He crashed his lips against yours again, noses getting caught up on each other. You shifted, grinding down on him while cradling his face in your hands. Javi helped you find your rhythm as you languidly rolled your hips in a circular motion.

Javi held you firmly against his lap, his hands grasping your hips. His pants felt uncomfortably tight as he rocked up against your center, cock pressing almost painfully against his zipper.

You already soaked through your panties, and you hadn't even done anything yet. All this just from making out? Okay, so maybe you were a little excited about this. It felt almost scandalous, like something from a dirty movie. You had taken home a cop that rescued you in a robbery. An American officer in Colombia––wait until your friends heard.

Javi groaned against your mouth as you threaded your fingers through his thick hair and gave it a gentle tug. He chased your smile with another heated kiss and pulled you back in to deepen it.

It was your turn to let out a gasp when the bulge in his pants rocked against your clit.

"Fuck," you groaned softly. You pulled away from his mouth and pressed your forehead to his shoulder. 

Javi's hand moved to your lower back and under your shirt. His touch was like fire on your skin. "We'll get there, Señorita Cereza," he chuckled as he pushed your shirt up over your stomach. One large hand cupped your breast and gave it a rough squeeze through the thin padding of your bra.

You pulled away and tore your shirt over your head. It landed haphazardly behind you for you to find tomorrow. There were more important things to attend to now.

"Now that's more like it," Javi teased as he raised his hands to your breasts again. He closed the distance between your lips to kiss you again, deeper this time––more desperate.

You felt his hands run up your back and skirt around the band of your bra. He leaned forward and nuzzled his face into your chest, hands splayed out on your back, pulling you closer. He pulled back to kiss you and said softly, “Muy hermosa.”

His words encouraged you to make a move. You had done it before in undergrad, and you know the basics of what guys like, so you slid down to your knees. You wanted to show him just how beautiful you were. 

You pushed his thighs apart and stared up at him, giving him your sweetest little smile as you caught your bottom lip between your teeth. You dragged your hands up his inner thighs, nails dragging along the fabric, sending a jolt through him as you drew nearer to his cock.

“Cereza, ” he managed to choke out. One of his hands went to the arm of your couch––the other balled into a fist on his thigh.

You looked up at him and shook your head, a silent gesture telling him to stop talking and let you work your magic on him.

“Let me take care of you,” you hummed, working on his belt. “You took care of me. It’s my turn now, Javi, let me return the favor." 

Javi let out a soft groan when you palmed him through his pants. He bucked his hips up into your touch, a silent invitation for you to pull his jeans down. 

You finally got his belt undone, though he had chuckled at your apparent exasperation at having a bit of difficulty with it. The button and zipper came next, and then he was practically helping you to tear his pants down his thighs.

His cock sprang free, hanging heavily, and thick between his thighs. You let out a small whimper just at the thought of having that gorgeous cock inside of you. A pearl of precum gathered at the tip and when you wrapped your hand around the base. He gasped, and the bead of fluid welled up more and dripped down to the underside of his cock. Javi let out a groan when you wrapped your lips around the head and slid down to the base in one swift motion. 

“Holy fuck!” he grunted, one hand instinctively going to rest against the back of your head. “Christ, warn a guy first.”

You looked up at him from beneath your lashes as you bobbed your head, one hand cupping his balls, the other working the base of his cock. As much as Javi wanted to watch you swallow his cock, he couldn’t help but let his head fall backward with a moan. It was then that you licked a stripe up from the base of his cock to the tip and swirled your tongue around the head. 

Javi moaned and swallowed thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. One of his hands came up, wove itself in your hair, and guided you to slowly take him more and more. You inched further down his cock until your nose became lost in his curls. Overwhelmed with this position, he unintentionally held you there for a while, until you had to pull yourself up and off with a small gasp of air. You raised yourself up onto your knees to get closer to him. You slid a hand up under his shirt, fingers dancing along the trail of hair from his navel. Still stroking his cock with one hand, you attempted to undo the buttons with the other.

Javi grunted and let go of your hair, nearly ripping the buttons off his shirt in an attempt to get it open. With his torso exposed, you leaned up and kissed down that trail of hair, back down to his cock, before taking him in your mouth again. He groaned into his hand before bending at the waist and pulling you up for a kiss. 

You kept stroking him, and he kneaded at your breasts before pushing you down to the couch. “I need you, Cereza. Now.”

You let out a soft whimper at his words, the low gravel of his voice, and the desperate hands now at your breasts. Arousal flooded your panties, and you brought a hand up to cover the furious blush on your cheeks. 

“Cereza, is this okay?” he asked, one of his hands coming up to lightly stroke over your jaw. He was scanning your face, looking for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. Javi gently grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand away from your mouth. Standing above you, he looked into your eyes, holding your gaze for a moment before he leaned down to kiss you deeply. 

You nodded and mumbled out a breathless, “Yes!” against his lips and threaded your hands into his thick hair, tugging at the curls at the base of his neck.

He pushed you back onto the couch and practically tore your jeans off, leaving you nearly naked, except for a thong. You barely had time to register where they landed before he was back on you––kissing you deeply, tongue and teeth clashing roughly against yours. He laughed and said, “Might as well have been no panties.” 

Javi pulled your thong off and shoved your thighs apart. He brought his fingers up and trailed them along your slit, applying a bit of pressure to your clit. “Hmm,” he hummed, “Can you hear how wet you are for me?”

You gasped and arched your back up a bit when he slid a finger inside of you. He pumped it a few times before adding a second––one of your hands flew back and gripped the arm of the couch when he crooked them upwards against a spot that made you see stars.

“That’s it, Cereza,” he whispered, pressing his lips against your neck. “I’ve barely touched you, and you’re fucking dripping for me.” He nipped at your ear and ran his tongue over the slight mark he made.

You whimpered and gripped his arm as he curled his fingers inside of you. You couldn’t help but wonder if you should have told Javi that you had never done anything like this before. Any concerns you had were thrown out the door the second he pressed his thumb to your clit again.

“Oh, fuck,” you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut. You clenched around his fingers and rocked your hips up to meet him.

“That’s it, baby,” Javi growled in your ear, “You’re so wet. Think you’re ready to take my cock yet?”

Your breath caught in your throat and you nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. 

“Let’s get to your bedroom, huh?” he whispered, carding his fingers through your hair. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled his fingers out of you. Carefully, he slipped his hands underneath your ass, pulling your hips into his––broad hands guiding you up and against his chest. 

Javi held onto you tightly, kissing at your shoulders as he found his way into your bedroom. Promptly, he laid you down, one hand ghosting down your torso before pulling off the last of his clothes, letting his pants fall next to the bed. Freezing at the loss of his body heat, you pulled your legs in close, and wrapped your arms over your chest. Once disrobed, Javi clambered over you, pressing sloppy kisses down your neck. He moved your arms out of the way, and you wrapped them around his neck before he continued his kisses across your chest. You moaned quietly and let your head fall back to your pillow, one hand finding its way into his hair again. 

He sucked a mark onto your neck and moved one hand down to push your legs apart enough to make room allow him to kneel between them. He slid his fingers through your wetness again and brought two fingers up to your mouth. “Open up for me, Cereza,” he urged, tracing your lips slightly. “Open your pretty little mouth.”

You took his fingers into your mouth and tasted your own arousal off of his fingers. A bitter tang blossomed over your tongue, and you moaned softly as you cleaned his fingers.

Javi took his fingers out of your mouth and reached down with the same hand to wrap around his cock. He groaned softly as he gave it a few strokes before guiding it inside of you.

The stretch _hurt_. You whimpered slightly as a slow burn spread through your core, but it felt fucking incredible. You had never done this before and didn’t know what to expect, but you assumed that his earlier ministrations had loosened you and relaxed you enough to make it not burn as much.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he grunted as the head of his cock disappeared inside of you. “So fucking tight. And wet. Jesus...” Slowly, he thrust his hips inch by inch, until his thick cock was fully seated in you. 

When he bottomed out, you both moaned. Javi leaned down and captured your lips in a heated kiss. He rocked his hips against you, pubic bone rubbing against your clit. The pressure caused you to clench around his cock. You never felt so full before. Your fingers couldn’t possibly compare to the real thing.

“Javi,” you gasped, arching your hips up to meet his thrusts. You sat up slightly to meet his kisses, groaning softly into his mouth. “Javi, please. Fuck!”

He wrapped one arm around your waist, broad hand splaying across your lower back. His other hand moved down to grip your thigh, nails digging into your skin as he urged you to wrap it around his waist. 

“You like that, Cereza? Hmm?” he growled, bringing his hand to deliver a smack to the back of your thigh. It wasn’t painful, but you yelped and then moaned as he rubbed away the sting of it.

Javi’s thrusts started off gently enough, rolling against you and going slow and deep, hitting a certain spot inside you every so often that a low gasp was wrenched from your lips. After a few minutes, he got desperate, and the snap of his hips grew more urgent, frantic, almost bestial in motion. He bared his teeth and almost _snarled_ as he slammed into you hard enough to knock the headboard of your bed against the wall with each thrust. 

“Oh my god, Javi, fuck!” you whimpered, tightening your thighs around his waist as his thrusts grew rougher and sloppier. You dug your fingernails into his shoulder blades, leaving little half-moon indents.

He reached down to press his thumb to your clit again, and you swore you saw stars as something inside of you shattered––You shouted loud enough for Javi to clamp a hand over your mouth. 

You fucking wailed––the overwhelming sensation seemed to last forever, and it felt absolutely unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You had used your own hands before, but nothing could compare to this. He scooted out of your bed and found a washcloth in your bathroom to clean your stomach off with. The warm rag elicited a soft sigh from you, body relaxing and sinking into a sleep-like state. But Javi’s sudden movement away from you pulled you out of your thoughts.

He began roaming around your bedroom and living room, collecting his clothes, and beginning to dress himself. Javi managed to find all of your clothes and set them on your coffee table. He noted the box of rocks there and blew another lungful of smoke out of his mouth as he regarded them with a huff and a small smile.

You lifted your head off of your pillow to see Javi pulling on his pants. “Where are you going?” you sleepily asked him, suddenly awake again as Javi came back into the bedroom.

“Oh, I was gonna head out. I, uh, don’t normally stay after,” he looked away awkwardly for a moment, almost as if the words were too shameful for the passionate moment the two of you had just shared. He buttoned his jeans and started to fasten his belt. He almost looked a little guilty, avoiding your eyes as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

You rolled onto your side, thinking about your words carefully before replying. “Well, you’re welcome to sleep on the couch if you’d like. But it’s too late, and you’re too drunk to be driving anywhere.”

It was an honest truth, and Javi knew it, but tenderness and affection weren't familiar to him, or at least, not anymore. He could walk home, but that posed a danger to him as well—sicarios could be lingering anywhere in the tides of the night. 

“Or you could be comfortable and sleep in the bed.” You sat up and scooted over to make some room in your bed. “It’s your choice.”

Startled from his thoughts, Javi stared at you for a moment, mouth slacked and thinking over your offer. No obligations were holding him back other than his own fears of commitment in these trying times in Colombia. Staying would be nice -- the rain had picked up once more. It pounded against the window, and he could hear it on the roof of your apartment building. It would be nasty to travel in. Lost in thought, he almost didn’t hear you speak. 

“You’re going to start catching flies if you keep that silly expression on your face, Javi.” You chuckled and rolled over onto your belly, silently hoping he’d stay.

He closed his mouth and replaced his gaping expression with a wry smile, dropping his garments back onto the floor before circling to the other side of your bed. Javi sunk back down into the warm sheets, arms wrapping around your bare torso, forehead rested against your shoulder. His mustache tickled at your shoulder blades, but you didn't comment as you didn’t want to ruin the moment.

You snuggled back against him, tangled your legs with his, and closed your eyes, hoping that he would still be there when you woke in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi decides to take you on a do-over date.

It was a grey morning. Cold and dreary, perfect conditions to lay in bed all day––But you knew that it was unlikely that Javi could stay. He was still asleep, face nestled into your shoulders, legs tangled with yours. One arm was holding onto you loosely, slung over your side without much care. Warm and heavy, you smiled softly as you realized that your fingers were intertwined. 

You shifted slightly, and you could feel him stir. There was a momentary pause—must've been processing the situation. Waking up in a stranger’s bed after a night of hard-drinking? It sounded almost cliche to you, but his quick rebound made it evident that this wasn't unusual.

“Good morning, cereza. Did the rooster wake you?” His voice was husky and laced with sleep, but the playful tone of his words made you suspect he was gaining consciousness quickly.

“What?” You lay there, confused. Who has a rooster in the middle of the city? 

Javi took hold of your hips and rubbed his hard cock in between your ass cheeks, and it dawned on you. He didn't mean a real rooster. 

The sleepy man nuzzled against your shoulder, breathing softly as he continued to slowly grind against you. 

“Un gallo? Creo que te refieres a un pollito somnoliento, ” you mumbled, returning the playful comments. 

“Un pollito? You wound me, cereza.”

You chuckled and rocked your hips back against his. There was a burn between your thighs and an ache in your muscles, reminding you of the events of the previous evening. 

Javi’s fingers left yours and ghosted down your middle, going lower and lower until—

“Shit, ” you cursed quietly, biting at your pillow as his fingers rubbed lazy circles around your clit. Though your slumber had revitalized you, your body had yet to fully recover from last night. Your thighs involuntarily clenched and flexed—his rough fingers already eliciting soft moans from you.

He hushed you softly, kissing your shoulder blade as a way to ease the tension. Sleepy, but horribly horny. It was an endearing mix, and you couldn't bring yourself to find a reason to pass up the opportunity.

“Already so wet for me, mi cereza, ” Javi mumbled against your skin as he slipped his fingers inside of you. You threw your head back against his chest and hissed through your teeth at the intrusion. It was too much and not enough, all at once. You reached back to grab his cock, wanting to feel its weight in your hand.

Javi used his free hand to turn your face towards him. His bright eyes looked down upon your hazy ones, lost in the pleasure he was giving you. He slipped in another finger as he leaned down to kiss you, and you let out a moan in his mouth. Javi let out a low growl when your fingers brushed the tip of his cock, smearing the precum that had collected there.

“Javi,” you whimpered as he crooked his fingers inside you. You could feel his mustache tickling your nose when he smirked. “Please, Javi. I need you.”

“C’mon, you, ” he chuckled, flipping you onto your back. He hovered over you with a devious smirk before leaning down to nip and kiss at your neck. Javi’s lips hovered over your pulse point before he sucked a mark into your skin. You shuddered but made no movement to hinder him from continuing—it was sweet and slow. 

His cock slipped in with ease and you both moaned as he bottomed out. One of his hands cupped the back of your head, the arm supporting his weight above you. The other hand slid down to your thigh, bringing it up and securing it around his waist. 

You gripped his bicep, nails digging into his skin and leaving half-moon marks identical to the ones you left on his shoulders last night. 

"Calma, cereza," he whispered against your lips. "I've got you."

All you could do was moan in response when he rocked against your clit. He was obviously in no hurry, and every thrust rocked against the bundle of nerves.

"Even this morning, you're so fucking tight for me," Javi groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder. "Fuck."

With his slow, deep thrusts, it didn't take long for either of you to reach your peak.

You cried out, one hand digging into his arm, the other flying back to clutch your pillow hard enough that your fingers ached.

Javi grunted, shuddered, and pulled out at the last second, gripping his cock as he came across your thighs. He pursed his lips and shook his head. “That was a close one. I usually have better timing.” He patted your thigh and got up. “Stay here. I’ll get you a towel.”

You laid there for a moment, your body still overwhelmed from your orgasm when you felt a damp washcloth hit your stomach. You sat up and picked up the towel and mumbled, “Thanks,” in Javi’s general direction. 

As you got to work wiping up the fast-drying cum, Javi was moving around the room, picking up his clothes where they had been discarded the previous night. You took notice of his swimmer’s physique as he pulled on his jeans-- broad at the top and tapering to the hips.

“So?" Javi asked as he slid his shirt over his broad shoulders. "How do I stack up? If you had to rank me against all the guys you’ve slept with, would I be good, better, or best?”

“Well, you’d actually be the first.”

Javi froze, his shirt halfway buttoned up. He let out a small laugh and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you.”

You sat up in your bed. “No, you heard me right. I was a virgin until last night.”

He ran a hand over his mouth, mulling over your statement in his head. A virgin –– "Fuck," he muttered. Javi glanced at you as if he were hoping you'd crack and tell him you were joking. 

“Yeah. Are you mad at me? For not telling you?”

“What? No, I’m not mad.” Just surprised. _Guilty_. “I just feel like there were some things I would have done differently if I had known it was your first time.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t change anything.”

Javi set his mouth in a thin line and clenched his jaw. I would have changed everything.

He glanced up at you and shook his head a bit. He forced a smile as he fumbled in his coat pocket for his pack of cigarettes. _Don't freak, Peña. That's not like you._

"Yeah, uh..." Javi frowned a bit and then coughed, your name caught in his throat like stale smoke.

You sat up and reached for the quilt that was tangled around your legs. Figures. First guy you sleep with clams up. 

"Sorry for not telling you," you muttered. "Didn't think it made a difference."

"It does make a difference," he replied, putting a hand on his hip. "As I said, I'd have made it better––more special."

"Could always do it over," you said nonchalantly as you reached for a scrunchie on your nightstand. "Might be fun."

Javi grunted and lit up his cigarette. He made sure he buttoned his jeans and secured them before he turned to go.

"Yeah, it could be fun." _Smooth_.

"C'mon, I'll get the door for you," you said with a small smile. You got out of bed, noting the pleasant ache of your muscles.

Javi was quiet on the short walk to the front door. He had one hand on the doorknob when he turned to you to say something.

"You got a phone number, cereza?"

“Here.” You wrapped a blanket around your body and bounded over to your desk. You grabbed a Sharpie and the closest pad of paper and scribbled down your name and number. “Call me if you would like to do this again.”

Javi took the paper with a dorky smile, cocking his jaw to the side. He folded it up and slipped it in his pocket with a wink. “Hasta luego, cereza.”

Steve looked up as Javi bounded into the office with a huge smile on his face. The blond raised a brow and gave him a once over. "...what did you get up to last night, Peña? You get laid or something?"

"Shut up, Murphy."

"Huh," Steve clicked his tongue. "Take that as a yes. Was it Vanessa?"

Javi grunted and poured himself a cup of what scientifically could be called sludge from the pot on the counter. "Nope." He took a swig of bitter coffee, black, and grimaced at the taste.

"Jesus, how early did you get up to find a hooker this morning?" Steve asked, turning a page in the file he was leafing through. "Shit, did you even sleep at all last night?"

"Not a hooker, Murph," he said, sitting on the corner of his partner's desk. He snatched the file out of the other's hands and began to read through it, ignoring Steve's exclamation of protest. "Actually, I slept like a fucking baby last night."

"That's not like you," he teased.

Javi hummed absently in response as he scanned the document. 

"Must've been really good. What was she? Exotic dancer? High-end escort? Spring for the big guns last night or something?"

"Not even close," Javi said, glancing up at him. He flicked his tongue out to wet his thumb to turn the page easier. 

"Informant, then?"

"Nope."

"Any other ties to Esc--"

"Nope."

"You sure?"

He raised his brows and nodded once to him. "Bothering me, Murph."

Steve sighed and shook his head. "Wait, is it that girl from last night? You know local police are all pretty pissed about that."

"I don't give a shit."

"She could be–"

"She isn't."

"Can't be so sure about that, Javi," Steve said, reaching over to grab the file out of his hands. "Trust me. How do you know she didn't go running off to any member of the cartel?"

Javi shook his head and looked down at his partner. "She's a researcher, Steve-o. Rocks and stuff." 

Steve's brow furrowed in confusion. "Steve-o? Since when have you ever called me anything but ‘Murphy'?”

Javi just smirked, the corner of his mustache twitching upwards slightly into a boyish grin.

"What––you get one good lay and now all of a sudden you're gonna be a good boy or something?" Steve pushed away from his desk and headed for the door. "You're disgusting, Peña!"

Javi didn’t even look up as he raised his middle finger to his partner when he passed by the window outside of their office. To anyone else, it would look like Steve was upset, but Javi could see that stupid smile on his face as he walked down the hallway.

As his partner disappeared down the hall, Javi couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. A virgin. He wished he could do the night before over again. He wanted to make it right. But how?

He ran his fingers over the folded up piece of paper in his pocket. No, you can’t call her yet. Javi tried to talk himself out of picking up the phone and dialing your number. You literally just left her place after spending the night. She's probably at work. Relax.

Throughout the course of the day, all he could think of was picking up the phone and dialing that Sharpie-scrawled number on the scrap of yellow legal paper. Hearing your voice again, hearing the smile on your lips––it made the day feel eight hundred fucking hours long. All he could focus on was trying to drown out the mindless drivel that flowed through the embassy.

The next time Javi looked up from the file on one of the hundreds of nameless fucking problems the DEA was facing, the light was gone from the window outside. Nighttime had come once more to Bogota. He grunted and went to pick up his cigarette that had been discarded in the ashtray, mumbling his displeasure when he found it had gone out hours ago.

Steve stood up, grabbed his jacket, and nodded to Javi. “Don’t stay too late tonight, man.”

Javi looked up and grunted, the cigarette now lit and in his mouth. He had been focused on these reports for hours now, trying to find something useful within all the garbage. Steve disappeared down the hallway, and Javi took a long drag on his cigarette. As he blew out the smoke, he pulled the scrap of paper from his pocket and looked at your handwriting. Neat, dainty. The opposite of his.

He tapped his cigarette on the ashtray and picked up the phone. He started dialing the number. I can’t believe I’m doing this. The phone rang and rang and rang. She probably gave you a fake number, asshole. Javi was just about to hang up when––

“Hello?”

“Um, hi. It’s Javi. I was kind of afraid you weren’t going to pick up.” 

“Sorry––I was in the other room.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

You let out a small laugh. “Tell that to my mother. If I don’t pick up on the first ring with her, then I might as well have not picked up at all.”

Javi smiled softly, his cigarette once again burning itself up in the ashtray. “I’m sorry for calling you so soon. I should have waited.”

“No such thing. I’m glad you called.”

“Oh, well, uh, I was wondering,” Javi started. He took a deep breath to steady himself. _C’mon man, you can do this_. “Tomorrow is, uh, Saturday, and I thought maybe if you wanted to, I could take you out. Have a do-over, maybe.”

“Like on a date?” Fuck, he could hear the smile in your voice. He’d been waiting for that all day.

“Um, yeah, I guess. A date.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been thinking about what you told me this morning, and I’d like to do better.”

“Oh, Javi, I don’t want you to feel bad--”

“Believe me, cereza, I don’t feel bad about it. I had a good time. I just want to do better.”

“Well, if you’re being serious about this, I would love to go on a date with you.”

Javi smiled and rested the receiver on his forehead before saying, “4 o’clock on Saturday. Wear comfortable shoes.”

“Ooh, sounds good! I can’t wait!”

 _Wait, Javi thought after you hung up. I don't get days off_.

  
  
  


Javi knocked on your door, well aware that he had just been here less than 48 hours ago. He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels, exhaling heavily.

“Good afternoon, Cereza. You look... “ he trailed off as his eyes slowly roamed down your body. 

“If the next words aren’t ‘absolutely stunning’, then I don’t want to hear it.” You laughed after a beat and leaned into Javi, resting your hand on his arm. “I’m just kidding.”

Javi chuckled and threw his arm around your waist as he led you down the stairs of your apartment building. “I was having trouble narrowing down my list of adjectives, so thanks for saving me the trouble.”

“Oh, that’s what I’m good at,” you teased, knocking your hip against his as you came onto the landing of the building. The air was still hot and humid - not unbearably so for this late in the afternoon, but still only slightly uncomfortable to walk around in.

Thank god for the breeze.

“Are you going to tell me why I have to wear comfortable shoes?” you asked.

“Not yet. It’s a surprise.”

Javi lead you down to his waiting SUV at the curb outside of your building. He opened the passenger door and helped you inside. 

You took note that he scanned the street before he rounded the vehicle and opened the driver's side door. 

"Okay, cereza," he said with a grin as he pulled his bronzed sunglasses from the front button of his shirt. "Let's get going."

Javi slid the sunglasses up his sharp nose and threw his arm over the back of your seat as the car jolted away from the sidewalk. Once on the road, he reached for the radio and flipped through the grainy stations until he found one that came through. _American Top 40_ all the way out in Columbia - who knew?

The two of you chatted idly in the car, neither quite sure what to say to each other but still trying to fill the silence. You mostly talked about how you ended up in Colombia. A graduate internship with the Colombian Geological Society. How long had you been in Bogotá? A month. Javi couldn't talk about work and you don't know him well enough to tell him some more personal things. Don't know the person that you slept with twice in two days enough to tell him about your personal life. You shook your head at your own insecurity before realizing that the car had come to a stop.

Before you was a modest bakery, overgrown with vegetation, the white paint chipping away with time, and a lazy mutt basking in the sun. You figured it belonged to the bakery owners as it had a plump belly, or perhaps it was pregnant? 

As if he could read your mind, Javi looked at the dog and then at you. “Owner’s girl. A stray used to hang around here but left the second she got pregnant,” Javi opened the car door for you. _A gentleman_ , I see. “I guess even dogs can be assholes.”

“Maybe she made him leave, dogs are very smart, you know. Maybe she knew he wouldn't be a good dad...Maybe he’ll come back one day to help her take care of the puppies.”

Javi shrugged as he held the bakery door open for you, not thinking much of the situation. “One can be hopeful, cereza.”

The smell of fresh coffee and baking bread filled your nose, the soft chatter of the customers filled your ears, and you were enveloped in the warmth that floated from the kitchen. You looked around in awe—the bakery was much more well taken care of on the inside. Potted plants hung from the ceiling with intricate nets keeping them aloft, vibrant paint coated the wall in murals that told the story of a woman you did not know. It was beautiful.

Javi smirked at your wonder, arm slipping around your waist, hand placed on your hip to keep you close. “Buenos días, Felipe, ” he greeted the worker as one would an old friend.

“¡Javier! Me plazco verte, y su amiga allí también, ” the man, Felipe, smiled at you warmly. He was older, though not quite as old as Santíago, the bartender from the other night. 

“Cereza, this is Felipe, he’s a good man, but he doesn’t know English.” You nodded at his words, taking a deep breath before introducing yourself to the man, who nodded in thought. 

“Mucho gusto, señor Felipe, ” you shook the man’s hand from over the counter. He chuckled at your formality, insisting that a ‘friend of Javier’s is a friend of mine’.

Javi began pointing out different dishes and pastries to you, most of which you had never heard of. They all looked delicious, much to the dismay of your stomach who wouldn't be able to fit everything. 

“You’ve never tried pandebono? Or pan dulce? Cereza, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Javi shook his head with a chuckle, turning to the bakery worker and ordering in rapid Spanish.

“I haven’t had a chance to try every aspect of Colombian food, Javi, I haven’t been in the country long enough.” 

He tsked in response before pointing at a pile of fried pastries. “Buñuelos?”

“Zeppoles?” you offered. 

“That’s Italian, but close enough. Felipe, dame algunos de estos también.” 

You took the bag from Felipe and quietly watched as Javi continued to order food— How much does he think you can eat? 

“Chica bonita que tienes ahí, Javier, cuídala bien,” the worker nodded at him as he was ringing up the food, not counting some of the more expensive items. You glanced over at them but made no comment. 

“Te lo haré, gracias por todo. Que tengas un gran día, amigo,” Javi nodded at him before calling you to follow him out. You thanked the worker before catching Javi’s arm, linking the two of you together.

The two of you loaded the bags into a large basket before Javi helped you into the car. “Are you ready to see why you had to wear comfortable shoes, cereza?” Javi asked as he climbed into the driver’s seat. He smiled softly at you, his eyes crinkling in the corners. 

You nodded excitedly. You had been wondering where Javi was going to take you since he called you. Actually, you couldn't tell if you were more excited to see him or go on this date. Or both.

"Then let's get this show on the road!” he grinned as his truck lurched away from the little bakery. 

The two of you drove an hour or so through the shambling streets of Bogotá, watching kids play fútbol on rooftops and alleyways, seeing colorful markets pass by in a flash, going up hills so steep it almost seemed impossible.

Javi parked the SUV at an overlook, looking out into the valley below. “This is it.” He hopped out and started rustling in the back seat. “I found this place one day when I was tailing somebody.”

You gently stepped out of the car, looking around with intrigue. “Are we where I think we are?”

Javi sighed and scrunched his face up. He nervously ran a hand over his mouth and shoved a hand into his pocket. “Yeah, sorry about that. Ciudad Bolívar isn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood in Bogotá, but this view is just so good that I didn’t think we could pass it up.”

“I don’t mean the neighborhood. This is an outcrop of the Bogotá Formation!”

“The... The what?”

“It’s a rock formation in this portion of the Andes. It’s named for the city, but it extends farther south.” You knelt down and brushed the rock with your fingertips. “Most of the Andes are composed of igneous rock, but this particular formation is almost all sedimentary.”

Javi scratched his head and grabbed the basket out of the back seat. He vaguely remembered learning the different types of rocks in middle school, but that was a long time ago. As he laid out the blanket he had brought, he watched you scurry over to a jagged rock face. 

“Javi, come here! Take a look at this stratification!” you called excitedly.

He raised his brows as you climbed over a boulder that was blocking your path with ease. Javi chuckled when the wind whipped up the hem of your dress, and he caught a brief glimpse of your panties. _Cute_ , he made a mental note of their color––white, with a lace trim that trailed to where his eyes could no longer see. 

Following you over the boulder, Javi kept his eyes more trained on you than the rock you were pointing at with childish excitement. 

“Lithic sandstone,” you ran your fingers across the stone in deep thought. “There’s an inclusion of plagioclase feldspar here. If I had my tools I would take back this sample. Feldspars have amazing cleavage— you can tell it’s plagioclase by the striations along the cleavage plane.”

Javi, who hadn’t been paying attention, looked over at you with mild surprise as you gestured to what you were talking about. “Who has amazing cleavage, cereza?” he asked in interest at terms he finally understood.

“Unless you consider minerals people, no one in particular. Rock cleavage is different from human cleavage, Javi,” you shook your head with a chuckle. “But the Bogotá Formation has extensive amounts of lithic sandstone — it’s components are usually volcanic sand. Lots of quartz, naturally, but also so much feldspar. It precipitates out of magma very easily and then gets eroded to sand grain size!” 

A sly smirk crept across Javi’s lips, drawing your attention to the man. “Cereza,” he paused for a moment to make sure you were listening, “Can I study your cleavage?”

You gave Javi a brief look, one that expressed your contempt for the joke and continued to chatter about the different geological features of the Formation, going into detail about every little stone in your peripheral vision. 

Javi took this time to spread out a blanket and set the basket on it to keep it from blowing away. With your attention coming back, you noticed the set-up as Javi gestured for you to sit down. 

“Here, try this.” Javi pulled out a small container full of cherries. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how your eyes lit up at the sight of the little red fruit with innocent wonder. You took a handful of cherries from him, fingers rolling a plump one around before taking a bite out of it. 

“It’s delicious” you exclaimed, taking another bite around the pit. “What kind is this? They’re out of season back home so it’s been a while since I’ve had a good batch.”

Javi’s eyes flicked to your stained lips and the way your tongue darted out to catch a dribble of red juice. He licked his lips in thought before blinking rapidly as an object blurred his vision. 

“Try it,” you had held a cherry out to Javi in hopes that he would see how good they tasted. He regained focus and inspected the fruit in your hand. With a smirk, he leaned forward and took the cherry right from between your fingers. Boldly, his tongue swiped the pad of your sweetened finger, earning a shudder from you. 

“Delicious.” Javi smiled at you, eyes crinkling innocently. They trailed over your body as you began talking about school again, wondering what you would look like dripping in–

You had shifted into a more comfortable position, giving Javi an amazing view of your cleavage. _Human cleavage is definitely better than rock cleavage,_ he mused to himself. His eyes followed the curve of your breast, and he sighed as the cloth of your dress restricted him from his desired target–– _Tonight will be so much better, mi cereza will go crazy._

You spit a cherry pit into your hand and turned to look at Javi, only to find that he was already looking at you. “What?” you asked him, noticing his eyes scanning you up and down. 

“Nothing,” he said, as he took another bite of a cherry. His mouth formed into a lopsided smile, made more pronounced by his mustache. 

You shrugged your shoulders— “If you say so—“ and threw the cherry pit out towards the edge of the overlook. It bounced a couple of yards before rolling slowly off the edge. 

Javi busted out laughing. “I bet I can beat you,” he challenged. 

“You’re on,” you retorted. Cherry pits disappeared over the side of the mountain as quickly as they could be removed from the fruit. After a while, the two of you stopped just to take in the view for a moment. That and the cherries were gone. 

“This that we’re sitting on? Shale! This layer is older than that siltstone over there—“ You pointed a few yards away. “But- it’s amazing- it’s still so new compared to so much of the earth!

“And did you know that you can tap deep deposits of shale for oil? It’s called hydraulic fracturing. Some people shorten it to ‘fracking’, but I’m not sure I like the way that sounds.”

Javi opened his mouth to make a comment about the word but closed his mouth as you moved on from the topic. 

All the while you were talking together, mostly you talking to Javi about rocks, he pulled out the rest of the food and the two of you ate. 

You realized that you’d been rambling about rocks and what you had been studying at the university for most of the picnic and that Javi had hardly said much at all. 

You wondered if he was even interested in what you'd been saying, or if he'd even been paying attention to what you were talking about.

“Sorry to bore you with all this talk of rocks. It tends to go over people’s heads, or they lose interest quickly.” You looked down at your lap, shyly avoiding his gaze. You idly picked at a hangnail, trying to distract yourself.

“You could never bore me,” Javi said, grabbing your hand to get your attention. 

You looked up and saw that he was still looking at you intensely while his thumb caressed the back of your hand. A cool wind blew across the overlook and you shivered slightly. Javi took notice and murmured, “Come here,” as he scooted closer and put his arm around you. 

_Why do I feel so shy all of a sudden?_ You thought to yourself. _We’ve already had sex, twice even!_

“Cereza,” he murmured, getting your attention back. He was so much closer now, and you felt his breath on your cheek before you turned your face to his. 

He looked you in the eyes, then moved his gaze down to your lip. You mirrored him, looking at his soft lips and you lightly licked your bottom lip. He bridged the gap between you and pressed his mouth on yours in a soft kiss. You leaned into him and placed your hand on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. You deepened the kiss by opening your mouth and lightly swiping your tongue along his bottom lip. He took the invitation and licked into your mouth, one of his hands coming up to cup your jaw. 

You pushed Javi down and leaned into him, half laying on top of him. You felt the bulge starting to form in his pants and Javi let out a breathy moan when you brushed your hand against it. You gave it a gentle squeeze, wanting to get a rise out of him when Javi sat up and gently pulled your hand away.

His chest was rising and falling quickly as he shook his head. "I'd rather continue this somewhere else. Maybe somewhere more comfortable, hmm?" He smiled and took your chin in his hand and guided you forward to kiss you sweetly. "Out in the open is too much for me just yet, Cereza.” 

You nodded. "That's fine," you said softly, bringing your hand to rest on his forearm.

You noticed the sun was going down and you both watched the sun slowly sink below the mountains. You didn’t think you would be out so late and didn’t think to bring a jacket when you left your house. With it getting darker and darker, you began to feel a chill. Javi began to take off his jacket.

“Here, Cereza, take my jacket and let’s pack up,” He said as he held the jacket for you to put on. 

“Thank you. I’ve had such a great time. I just don’t want it to end,” You smiled shyly, hoping he felt the same. 

“Well, how about we continue this inside somewhere?” Javi responded with a wink. 

“Yeah, okay,” you smiled back at him. He stood up and reached out a hand to you, helping you off the ground. As you straightened your dress, he grabbed the blanket and stuffed it in the basket, not even attempting to fold it. You found it charming. Javi gestured to the car with a lopsided smile. 

You walked back to the car hand in hand, Javi carrying the basket in his other hand. He opened the passenger side door and helped you in before putting the basket in the back. After climbing into the driver's seat, Javi turned to you with a smile. 

“Where to next, mi cereza?” Javi asked as he started up the car. 

You leaned on the center console and casually stroked his arm. Your dress had ridden up on your legs, but you made no move to fix it. You felt Javi’s eyes follow your hand as you tucked it in between your legs. “I’m ready to go back to your place, if that’s okay with you.”

“There’s nothing else you want to do while we’re out?”

You placed your hand on top of his, where it rested on the gearshift, and said, voice low and seductive, “Just you.”

Javi shifted the car into drive and then lifted your hand up to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on the back of your hand. With his lips still pressed against your skin, he murmured, “Whatever you want.” 

As he drove through the streets of Bogotá, Javi ran his right hand along the length of your thigh, every so often dipping his fingers underneath the hem of your dress. At a stop sign, Javi moved your hand out from between your thighs, and replaced it with his own, causing you to clench them together. 

He smirked. "What are you thinking about, cereza?" 

You grabbed onto his wrist and rolled your hips, attempting to move his hand closer to the apex of your thighs. 

Javi clicked his tongue and then hummed. “I don’t think so, Cereza. Answer me. What are you thinking about?”

“You,” you replied with a small smile, trying to stop the blush from creeping over your cheeks. You toyed with the hem of your dress again, eyes flicking back and forth between your hands and his face. 

“What about me? My stylish wardrobe? My good looks? My quick wit? Wait, I know.” Javi looked in your direction. “It’s my mustache, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Javi, you cracked the case.” You threw your hands up in the air dramatically. “I’m thinking about your mustache.” You reached up and stroked his mustache gently. “Especially the way it tickles my skin.”

Javi smirked and looked at you with hooded eyes, his expression darkened. “Where would you like to feel my mustache?”

You covered your face with your hands, trying desperately to hide the growing blush. Javi laughed, a short chuckle. It was the laugh of a man who doesn’t laugh often. 

Javi took your hand again and continued driving on a knowing smirk on his lips. You looked out the window with growing anticipation for the night to come. 

Bogotá passed by your window, the lights from the city blurring together, molded together with a grainy song on the radio, playing the same station as before. 

Javi pulled up to his apartment, his fingers still intertwined with yours. He pulled into a parking space and killed the engine before he grabbed the basket from the backseat, leaving the blanket for another time.

He looked over at you with a crooked grin and came around to help you step out of the SUV. 

“Careful, cereza,” he chuckled, one hand coming to rest on the small of your back as you adjusted your dress. “Don’t want you to get hurt now.” Javier shut the door behind you and pulled on the handle several times to make sure it was locked. He glanced at the street around him before quickly leading you up the stairs to the apartment building.

“This place is nice,” you said with a huge smile as he opened his front door. You looked around the apartment, noting the distinct lack of personal items on the walls or shelves. There were books here and there, sure, but no pictures, no paintings. Not even something as simple as a houseplant adorned the coffee table. There were only empty bottles of whiskey and beer scattered haphazardly about and nearly full ashtrays on the coffee and kitchen tables.

Javi coughed nervously and grunted out an apology as he tried to tidy things as best he could like you hadn’t already seen it all.

“Javi,” you said, trying to get his attention. “It’s fine. You’re fine. A mess isn’t going to offend me, I mean, have you seen my place? It’s two steps away from being an active archeological dig. Or like, a crime scene. Come here.”

You held out your arms and smiled. Javi tossed a bottle into the garbage can and made his way over to you, his hands coming to rest on your hips. He rubbed little circles with his thumbs and looked down at you, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

He pulled you in for a deep kiss, one hand leaving your hip to brush your hair out of your face and to cup your cheek. 

You bit his bottom lip and pulled it playfully, letting the warmth of Javi’s deep chuckle envelop you. Before you could move your hands down to squeeze his ass, Javi gave you a quick peck on the lips before pulling away. You watched curiously as he wandered off—opening and closing a series of drawers and cabinets before finding what he was looking for.

Finally, Javi reached in a drawer and pulled out a tall candle with a picture of the Virgen de Guadalupe on the front. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders apologetically. “It’s the only candle I have. Mi tía insisted that I bring it.”

You laughed as he turned it so the picture was facing the wall. “What? I might not be religious, but I can’t have La Virgen watching me have sex.”

You wrapped your arms around his back as he lit the candle. “I think it’s romantic.”

Javi chuckled and straightened his back as you pressed soft kisses to his neck. "You do?”

“Romance is about effort. Surely a suave hombre like you knows that?” Javi shrugged and turned you around so that your chests were touching. 

“Maybe I’m not a very romantic person.”

"The effort you’re putting in right now shows me otherwise.”

He wrapped an arm around your back, the other alternating between stroking your hair and your cheek. The two of you swayed side to side a little bit before Javi pulled away. “I’ll be right back. Might be nice to have some music playing.”

You watched him as he traipsed back to the living room and pulled a record off the shelf. Javi waited a moment for the dusty record player to start working. It was old—a lack of use evident as it first refused to start until Javi gave it a good smack. Slowly, the baritone drawl of the singer dripped with the aching desire that had been simmering between the two of you. 

“Barry White? What a romantic choice, ” you teased as Javi made his way back to you. You wrapped your arms around Javi’s neck, nearly having to stand on your tiptoes to do it. 

“To set the mood, no?” 

You shrugged in response, pulling him down a little so you didn't have to reach so far. Javi pressed a kiss to your neck, arms wrapped loosely around your waist.

“It’s been a while since I've danced,” Javi admitted as he pulled back to smile down at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling innocently.

“Good thing you're good at other kinds of dancing.” You glanced up and met Javi’s surprised eyes before pulling him down for a kiss. His hands roamed up your body and found themselves cupping your cheeks as he deepened the kiss, tilting your head back as you moaned into his mouth.

You reached for the growing bulge in Javi’s pants, desperately trying to rip off his jeans. Before you could unbutton them, he grabbed your arm and pushed your hands away. 

“Javi, please” you whined, tugging at the buttons of his shirt. He tsked in response, catching your wrists and pushing them away once more. 

“Hold on just a little while longer, ok? Tonight is about you.” Javi pressed a soft kiss to your lips, giving your bottom lip a quick nip. You whined in protest as he turned you around and pulled your back tight against his chest, face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. Your flesh was marked with soft bites and nips from Javi, his fingers sprawled across your waist, drawing lazy patterns on your hip.

“Let’s get you out of this,” he murmured against your neck, hands picking up the skirt of your dress. You lifted your arms as he stepped back, letting him slip it off of you with ease. Javi threw the sundress aside, biting his lip as he took in the sight of your nearly-bare body. He circled you like an animal stalks its prey. 

You were wearing a matching set, white panties with lace trim and embroidered flowers on the side leading to a lace front––your bra held a similar flower pattern. You bit your lip and shyly averted your gaze, wrapping your arms around your bare midriff. 

The whole picture beamed with innocence and Javi almost felt dirty now that you were stripped down for him. _Such a cute little thing._

“Cereza…” he mumbled, pressing his lips against your bare shoulders, his mustache tickling you. His hands reached up to cup your breasts, gently squeezing and massaging them. Stopping as his lips met the clasp of your bra, Javi gently let go of your chest so he could undo it. The white garment fell limply to the floor, prompting Javi to spin you around. “Absolutely gorgeous,” he whispered breathlessly to himself before laying kisses across your chest.

He squeezed your ass and patted your thigh gently, encouraging you to jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. Javi kissed and sucked at your soft flesh, breathing in your sweet scent before carrying you to his bed. He sat you down, and you tried to stay calm as Javi ran his eyes across your body––one hand tucked under your jaw and his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your cheek. 

You shuddered as Javi gently encouraged you to lay back on the bed, his lips never leaving your skin as he crawled over you. 

Javi gave your shoulder one last kiss before he grazed his teeth down to your collarbone. He nibbled and sucked new marks across its curve before running his tongue over the fresh marks. Your body jolted beneath his as hands moved up to cup your breasts. 

_So soft, so sensitive,_ Javi thought to himself as he began to gently massage your chest.

The pads of his fingers danced across your nipples, gently brushing over and pinching them. You let out a soft gasp, and you could feel his lips form into a smile. Javi’s mouth followed the path down your sternum, soft red marks in his wake. You rubbed your thighs together, trying to alleviate some of the building pressure. Your fingers entwined themselves in Javi’s thick hair.

His mustache left trails of goosebumps as it tickled your sensitive skin. You closed your eyes with a soft whimper as he sucked a mark onto your left breast — Sensitive around her chest, Javi noted as he watched you shudder and whine. The markings continued in a wobbly line down your torso, ending with one dark splotch throbbing on your hip. 

A needy whine left your throat as you arched your back against the bed when he rolled one of your nipples in between skilled fingers. This was torture to you and it seemed like Javi's intention was to drag it out as long as possible until you were begging for it. 

Javi's nimble fingers skimmed down your chest, across your stomach, and finally down between your thighs at your entrance. Slowly, he ran his fingers along the lace trim of your panties, admiring your inability to lay still. He hummed softly when his fingers brushed the darkening wet spot between your thighs. 

"Javi," you breathed, balling up the sheets in your hands. You wanted to scream for him to touch you, anything, just so you could finally get some relief.

In a swift motion, Javi pulled your panties down your thighs and tossed them haphazardly to the floor.

"So wet for me, Cereza," he murmured, running two fingers through your folds.

A soft whimper escaped your lips as Javi continued to explore your body. He was right — you were wetter than you’d ever been before, his mouth and his hands finding all your sensitive spots. You reached a hand down to caress his cheek, and he intertwined his fingers with yours, pulling your hand closer and kissing your palm. Even that was near torture. 

Gently, he let go of your hand and spread your legs apart. Starting at your knee, he kissed up the inside of your thigh. You bit your lips together and whined — he was so close and yet so far. Your hips jerked upward when you felt him exhale against your pussy. 

Looking down over your body, you could see his eyes fixed on your face. “You look beautiful like this.”

“Javi--” a rough moan was pulled from your lips as he lowered his mouth to your pussy, placing a kiss on your mound. He dragged a thick finger through your folds, collecting the wetness that gathered there before he pushed it inside. 

He smirked when you gripped his wrist and tried to get him to go faster. All he did in response was add a second finger beside the first. With his other hand, he pulled yours away and interlaced your fingers at your side. 

You tightened your grip in his hand as he began to pump his fingers inside you earnestly. He slowly moved them in and out, separating and crooking them as you squirmed around beneath him. 

"Fuck!" you gasped, raising yourself up on your elbows to look down at him. You gasped and lifted your hips slightly as his finger hit a spot in you that sent a shiver down your spine. 

Pleased with himself, he continued to press at that spot. He left gentle kisses on your inner thigh before leaning forward and nipping at your hip, his fingers still unrelenting against that spot inside you. 

"Javi, fuck!" you gasped. Your entire body felt like a stretched rubber band, and you leaned your shoulders up as far as you could, just trying to get a glimpse of his fingers sliding furiously in and out of you. 

You felt a moan escape from deep in your chest as the rubber band snapped and your pussy clenched repeatedly around his fingers. Your head fell back against the pillow, your eyes nearly rolling back in your head. 

You blushed furiously and let your arms fall to the pillow beside your head. You caught your lip between your teeth and watched him quickly get to his knees and push his jeans down his thighs.

He stood as he took off his shirt and kicked his pants across the floor, then moved back to the bed to kiss you deeply. One hand gripped your thigh and brought it up around his waist.

You bucked your hips up, trying to slip his cock inside you, but Javi pulled away slightly, a crooked smile on his face.

"You're so impatient," he teased, leaning down to kiss you deeply. "I wanna take my time, cereza. Let me do this for you." 

He reached down and gave himself a few quick strokes before he guided his cock to press the head inside. Javi paused for a moment, letting you adjust before slowly sliding inside.

It only took a moment, but it felt like an eternity until he was fully seated inside you, thick and hitting all the right spots. The feeling was still foreign yet wholly familiar at the same time. Javi’s hands ran up and down your side, easing your hips as they opened up for him. He murmured something in Spanish but you didn't catch it — an unreadable emotion swimming in his dark eyes.

He slowly pulled out a bit and then pushed back in, keeping his eyes locked on your face the entire time, watching for any sign of pain. The look on his face was pure concentration as he focused on the slow drag of his cock inside you.

“Please, Javi. Go faster,” you begged as you gave his hair a gentle tug.

“Not yet, mi cereza.” He continued his torturously slow thrusts. “Maybe next time.” He bent down and pressed his lips to your forehead. You wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled his face down for a kiss.

You let out a soft groan into his mouth as he angled his thrusts against that sweet spot. Damn, he’s good at this, you thought. It didn’t take long for another coil to start winding itself up in your belly, pressure building in your back, threatening to break at any moment.

He slid one hand down to your other thigh and gently pulled it up so it was locked around his waist. Javi lightly brushed his fingers along your skin and smiled when you trembled.

"Fuck," you moaned softly, your hands gripping the muscles in his arms. "Javi! Javi, baby."

"That's it, Cereza, I've got you." He pulled you in for a kiss, never faltering in the speed of his hips.

You gasped and bucked your hips up against his, the base of his cock hitting your clit with every thrust.

"Fuck, Javi!" you moaned, your eyes fluttering shut. You reached up and tangled your fingers in his thick curls. 

"You gonna cum for me?" Javi grunted softly in your ear. He kissed you again and sat up a bit, his fingers sliding down your belly to rub at your clit. They were slow, gentle circles, the feeling contrasting with the rough pads of his fingers. The sensation made you whine and clench around him.

"Ja-Javi!" you moaned, your back arching off the bed. "Fuck - I'm gonna cum again!"

"Come on, baby," he urged, his fingers moving quickly against you. "One more time."

The pressure that had been building inside you finally reached its peak and you came hard with a loud cry.

Javi swore as you clenched around him and he dug his fingers into the meat of your thigh as he fucked you through your orgasm.

He quickly pulled out with a loud groan and stroked his cock once, twice, three times before he came with a strained curse through gritted teeth. Ropes of cum splattered across your thighs and lower belly. Javi kept one solid hand on your knee to support himself as he caught his breath.

"Fuck," he chuckled breathlessly, looking down at you. He ran a hand through his hair and slid off the bed. "Just stay there for a second."

“Like I’d be able to move anyway,” you said as you watched his naked form walk away. “My whole body feels like Jell-o.”

“Good.” Javi came back with a warm, wet washcloth. “That was my intent.”

You smiled as he ran the cloth down your belly and between your thighs—moving your legs as needed. Though it's been a few minutes, you still felt like a piece of jelly, which you continued to mention to Javi. 

Javi tossed the washcloth aside and gave your thigh a gentle squeeze before standing up. 

“You can stay here tonight. If you want to.” Javi shrugged nonchalantly as he returned the washcloth to the bathroom. 

When he turned around, you had already rolled over on your side and snuggled under the comforter.

Javi fished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his nightstand before climbing into the bed next to you.

Slipping a cigarette out, Javi cupped his hand around the lighter to conceal the flame. It flickered against his hand as he lit the cigarette. His eyes drifted to your sleeping form as you shifted in your sleep, lips parting as you let out a small sigh. Taking a drag, Javi blew the smoke away from your face, not wanting to disturb you too much. 

Shifting so that he was propped up on his elbow, Javi placed his hand on your arm—gently moving it up to your shoulder where he thumbed small circles into your warm flesh. I wish I could see her every day, though. She’s beautiful… Javi drew his hand back and recoiled at his own thoughts.

Fuck—What are you doing? She’s just another pretty girl, there’ll be others. He cocked his eyebrow as you shuddered in your sleep, prompting Javi to bring the comforter up to your neck as it had slipped off when he grabbed your arm. But there won't be another her.

No no no no no—You only did this again because you felt bad about taking her virginity, and that's it. That's all she ever has to know. He tilted his head as he took another drag. Does she know? Maybe I should let her know? No, then maybe she’ll cry, I don't want to see her cry. Rubbing his temples, Javi let out a low groan.

 _What are you going to do now, Peña?_ He grimly mused to himself. _Get the poor girl’s hopes up when you know you’ll only break her heart? And what was that whole ‘next time’ bullshit?_

Disgusted and conflicted, Javi rolled over and twisted his cigarette into the ashtray on the nightstand. 

As he moved back, you lifted your head and turned back to smile at him sleepily. 

“Mm–”

“Shh, go back to sleep, cereza, ” Javi pressed his chest up against your back, chin resting on your shoulder. You nodded with heavy eyelids, head hitting the pillow with a soft plop.

Javi kissed your neck and shoulders as you drifted back into a deep sleep, his own mind keeping him awake and aware of every little noise.

_Don’t get attached, Peña. She’ll only get hurt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors on Tumblr: some are not on Ao3 -  
> @MiscellaneousMando  
> @Lestrange2703  
> @summerontatooine  
> @sydnubabu  
> and me - @smarchit


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally gets a lead on Escobar using kids as lookouts. He and Javi head to the marketplace and Steve finally meets you.

“Peña!” Steve called, running into their shared office, “Javi, hey, heads up.”

Javi turned from the board on the wall, one hand on his chin. “What’s going on?”

“Remember a few months ago when we got that tip that Escobar may be using kids as lookouts?”

“What about it?”

“We got another lead.”

“No shit.” Javi gave a low whistle and took the file that his partner offered him. He scanned it briefly and flicked his eyes up to look at Steve. “‘Bout time those shitheads slipped up.”

“Yeah well, given that we haven’t been getting as much intel from you the last few weeks it’s taken a while.” 

Javi clenched his jaw and glared at Steve.

Steve reached for his jacket on the hook behind the board.

“We’re going right now?” Javi asked, following him out of the office.

“Yep. Time-sensitive info here, Peña." Javi rolled his eyes and grabbed his jacket. He reached into his desk drawer for his gun and stuffed it into the back of his jeans before he followed Steve outside to the car. 

“Are we going to Medellín, or…?”

“This intel actually came locally, here in Bogotá.”

Javi nodded and looked over at Steve as he climbed into the passenger seat. He shoved his cigarette into his mouth as the car lurched into gear.

“I can’t believe that sick son of a bitch is using kids,” Steve grumbled under his breath as the car rounded the corner.

As the pair neared their mark, Javi kept looking around nervously. He bit at his thumbnail, anxiety mounting in his stomach.  _ This is too fucking close. Keep driving, Murphy. _ He knew that this particular road led straight to the marketplace near your apartment. 

_ “It’s not that I don’t really like you, but we’re both really busy people. I’m working an internship and trying to finish my Master’s degree, and you’ve got your ‘classified’ job— I just think it would be best if we didn’t commit to anything right now. ”  _

_ “Also,” you added, “my last relationship didn't end too well. He wasn't so keen on the idea of me leaving him all by himself while I studied down here. I just don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship just yet.”  _

‘Oh thank God,’  _ Javi thought, breathing a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you said that. I wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up, myself.” _

_ You took a sip of coffee out of the dainty mug in your hands and smiled. “It’s good to be on the same page. But if you’d be up for it, I’d be down to hook up again. You know, minus the date thing.”  _

_ Javi winked at you over the rim of his cup. “Una chica inteligente, sensata, práctica — I like your ideas, cereza.” _

Javi thought back to the conversation he had with you in the cafe a few weeks ago. The two of you agreed that dating just probably wasn’t in the cards right now, but yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Couldn’t stop imagining you sleeping next to him, drinking coffee with him, brushing your teeth next to him. 

“Hey,” Steve muttered, taking his eyes from the road for a second. “What’s up?”

“Hm? Nothing,” he said softly, “Nothing. Just…”

It was even starting to affect his work. For so long, the DEA had been reliant on the information that he could get from the local hookers, but most of them aren’t willing to say anything if you’re not going to pay them for their time. 

_ “Uncle Sam still has money, Vanessa,” Javi implored the girl as she walked away.  _

_ “Javi, I need to work. And right now, you’re wasting my time. Uncle Sam or not.” _

At another time in his life, Javi would have gone on with fucking the whores, but he just couldn’t anymore. It felt dirty. Like he was betraying you. Even though you weren’t exclusive, he still felt an unfamiliar sense of honor and responsibility towards you. 

Steve pushed the gear into park and climbed out of the car, already grumbling about how his shirt was sticking to his back in the heat.

Javi glanced around the market, his eyes still concealed by sunglasses. He saw kids, sure, but all accompanied by parents, and none in the age range they were on the lookout for.

Steve slid a cigarette into his mouth and cupped his hand around the flame as he lit it before he turned to Javi with a sigh and a puff of smoke.

"Get comfortable," he joked, running a hand through his hair. "Might be here a while."

Javi snorted and made his way over to a fruit stall to pick up a snack so he wouldn’t look suspicious just standing around. As much as he missed the mango con chile he used to eat at home, mango biche would do just fine. 

After standing around on the lookout for a while, Javi saw you round a corner, bags in hand, walking towards the market stalls. He turned in circles, looking for the nearest reflective surface so that he could fix his hair. He glanced up to make sure Steve was still across the street looking for kids before Javi decided to walk up to you. 

“Hey, Cereza,” he said from behind you, “fancy seeing you here.” 

You were startled a bit until you noticed Javi just behind you with a grin on his face. “Well, I do live just around the corner Javi, you know that,” you teased. 

"Uh, yeah," Javi said, nervously clearing his throat. He gave a quick look around the market before he reached into his jacket pocket and fiddled around for something. “I, uh, found this the other day, and, um… I thought you might like it.” He pulled out a glassy stone and stuck his hand out towards you. It had been in his pocket for over a week. He put his hands on his hips as you gently took the rock. 

Javi watched you intently as you rolled the rock around in your hand. You studied it briefly for a moment, your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Where did you get this?” You looked up at him. “Was it here? In Bogotá?”

“No, actually. We went on an… excursion to Medellín and I found it there.”

“Huh.” You chuckled lightly, running your fingers over the pockmarked surface of the rock. “This is tektite. They sometimes call it ‘Cali Glass’. I’m surprised you found it so far north.”

“Oh. I just thought it was a cool rock. And seeing as you’re a geologist, you know…” Javi trailed off and glanced around a bit.  _ She hates it. It's dumb _ . 

“I love it. Thank you for thinking of me.” You sighed. “I wish I had something to give to you.”

Relieved, Javi jokingly tapped his cheek and said, “How about a kiss?”

You laughed and leaned forward on your tiptoes to peck his cheek. His eyes went wide, and you could see a slight reddening in his cheeks as he looked down at you. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tall, blond man moving towards you. You didn’t recognize him, but he was definitely looking at you. It made you a little nervous, but you didn't have time to get Javi's attention.

As he got closer, the blond man flung his arms out to his sides. You could see a gun tucked into his pants and a badge that looked a lot like Javi’s hanging on his belt. “What the hell is this?” he called. “ _ Invasion of the Body Snatchers _ ?” He clapped a hand on Javi’s back and grabbed him by the shoulders, a broad smile on his face. “Who are you, and what have you done with my partner?”

The man laughed, but Javi just narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Aw, come on, man. I’m just kidding around.”

“Yeah, maybe you could go search the perimeter again?” It didn't sound like a suggestion. He crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side, as if daring his partner to challenge him. 

“Actually, Javi, I was hoping you could introduce me to your friend here.” 

Javi shifted his weight to one leg, and the other man looked back and forth between the two of you before jumping in. “Sorry ‘bout his manners, ma’am — Steve Murphy.”

The blond man, Steve, stretched his hand out, and you shook it, giving your own name in return. Steve then turned to Javi and said, “So this is the girl that you’re always runnin' your mouth about!”

You clutched your bag closer to your chest and raised an eyebrow. “You talk about me?”

Javi scowled, put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and kicked at the gravel on the concrete floor.. “I think Murphy here is confused.”

Steve pursed his lips and shook his head. He tapped his chin with his finger and looked at Javi. “No, you’ve definitely talked about her before. Said you were worried when you hadn’t heard from her in a few days.”

You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hide your grin. Javi sighed and put his chin to his chest before looking back up at you. “Your volcano trip.”

“Oh, that — if I had known you were going to call, I would have let you know I was going to be gone.” You had moved away from him when Steve had walked up, but you stepped closer and rested your hand on his bicep. You saw Steve’s expression darken as he turned his head away. 

Javi turned toward Steve to ask him a question. Before he could get it out, Steve held up a hand. “Okay, let’s roll, Casanova.”

Javi followed Steve's gaze across the market; there was a kid, maybe twelve years old, with a walkie-talkie pressed to his mouth, his eyes concealed by a cheap pair of sunglasses. Javi turned back to you, your attention thankfully elsewhere for now. “Cereza, I need you to go home.”

You pointed to a stall about ten yards away. “But I need to get peaches from Señora—“

He shook his head firmly. “Go home. Right now.” Javi reached up and brushed a lock of your hair behind your ear. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll— I’ll talk to you later.”

~

Steve grabbed Javi's arm when they made it back to their shared office a few hours later. "You wanna talk about what happened in the market today?" 

Javi shrugged out of Steve's grip and glared at him. "What is there to talk about?"

"The girl? Your  _ cereza _ or whatever the fuck it is you call her? That's fucking dangerous."

Javi pushed away from him and went to tack a note on their corkboard. 

"Don't ignore me, Peña. We gotta discuss this." 

"She's just some girl, Murph. Let's drop it, hmm? Got some fuckin' reports to take care of." Javi waved him off, not feeling up to the task of discussing you or acknowledging the potential danger he could be putting you in.

Steve sat on the corner of a low filing cabinet, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.  _ Stubborn asshole _ .

Javi scribbled something down on the board and threw the pen back into the bin. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it over the back of his chair as he took a seat at his desk.

"You can't ignore this, Peña. This could be a problem."

"I don't see how," he grumbled, lighting a cigarette. He took a long drag and sighed as smoke filled his lungs.

Steve looked around to make sure no nosy agents were listening in before he leaned over the desk.

"Hey, Earth to agent Dumbass," he hissed, lowering his face so he could look Javi in the eye. "They killed my wife's fucking  _ cat _ just because I showed up in Columbia. Imagine what a  _ sicario _ would do if they found out about this?"

Javi lifted his head from a report he was only pretending to read. "She's an American. They wouldn't touch her. You know that."

"There are lots of ways to hurt someone. Maybe not physically- but you and I both know there are lots of different ways to mess with someone."

Javi swallowed thickly, his heart thudding against his ribcage. "It won't go that far," Javi said, mentally kicking himself for the choked way his voice came out. He would never forgive himself if it did. 

~

The day faded to night and you spent most of it anxiously waiting by the phone for any signs of life from Javi.  _ He promised to call, maybe he just got caught up at work? Why did he want me to go home? He seemed worried. _ These questions ran at warp speed through your mind, as you tried to keep yourself occupied by rearranging your belongings. You shook your head with a sigh, running your finger over the tektite he had given you right before he asked you to leave.

_ He was thinking of me _ , you found yourself blushing madly at the thought of it. It’s not every day that the guy you're hooking up with brings you gifts. _ I’ll bring him something nice the next time I go on a trip _ .

You flipped the small stone over in  _ your hand, eyebrows narrowing in thought. What could he have possibly been doing in Medellín? Not a very excursion-y place to visit. _ You shook your head, stood from your seat, and placed the stone on a shelf with an assortment of rocks and stones you had begun to collect in Colombia.

_ Ring _ ! You jumped as the ringing of the phone broke the overwhelming silence in your apartment. Crossing your fingers, you cautiously picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hey, Cereza, sorry it took so long for me to get back to you, I got caught up with some paperwork.” You couldn't help but let out a sigh of happy relief to hear Javi’s voice on the other line.

“No no, don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're alright. You scared me a little at the market today.” You shook your head despite Javi not being able to see you.

“I know, I'm sorry about all that. But believe me, it was the best option..." Javi paused for a moment, and you could hear him clear his throat. “I was wondering if maybe I could swing by your place? Just to make up for today.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be here all night, so come by whenever.”

~

An hour or so later, just as the last rays of sunlight disappeared over the rooftops, there came a knock at your front door. You had been finishing up the dishes from your dinner and dropped the towel on the counter to answer it.

"Coming!" you called, drying your hands on your shirt. You glanced in the little mirror by the door and tucked a flyaway hair behind your ear before you pulled open the door.

Javi stood there, in the yellow glow of the light outside your door looking slightly less put together than he had been when you saw him earlier in the afternoon. His short sleeve shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing his collarbone and there was a cloth bag in one hand, dangling at his side. His throat jumped when you pulled the door open. 

"Javi!" you grinned, opening the door the whole way, flooding the growing darkness outside. The hum of the window unit nearly drowned out the din of the city around you.

“I remembered you said you needed some peaches.” Javi sheepishly held up the cloth sack before offering it to you. 

“You remembered,” you said, taking the bag from him with a smile. “Thank you.”

“I wanted to thank you for trusting me when I asked you to leave.” 

“Yeah, of course. I trust you.” You smiled a half-smile and shrugged. “More than anyone else here in Colombia, anyway.” The two of you stood awkwardly in the doorway as you noticed a swelling, shiny bruise on Javi’s cheek, half concealed in the dim light. He rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment before you said, “God, I’m sorry. Do you want to come in?”

Javi smirked and moved past you into your apartment. Although you hadn’t been in Colombia very long, you had already established a presence. Unlike Javi, you had knick-knacks and pictures, items that made the space more personal. He headed towards the living room while you headed towards the kitchen. He stood next to the couch and took off his jacket, his eyes catching the stone he gave you earlier. He felt a surge of pride when he saw the little rock, the tektite, sitting on a shelf amongst your other, larger stones.

You sat the peaches down next to the sink before setting to work and washing a couple of them for the two of you to enjoy. Your mind went to the bruise on his cheek. It was fresh — it definitely wasn’t there when you saw him earlier that afternoon. While your back was to him, Javi draped his jacket on an armchair and found a seat on your couch. He nestled himself into a corner and lit a cigarette as he caught the middle of some chick-flick movie. 

Carrying over a plate of peach slices and a couple beers, you settled down next to Javi, offering a few to him. “Are you ever going to tell me why I had to leave?”

“Maybe someday.”

You nodded, not wanting to press too much into his work and mysterious ways, but you couldn't help but wonder about the bruise.

Carefully, you brought your hand up to brush over the area gently, bringing your fingers back a little as Javi shuddered when you neared the center of the bruise. He closed his eyes and let the rest of his unmarked cheek rest in your hand, a vulnerable moment that you had grown to welcome.

“Steve didn't do that, did he?”

He chuckled a bit. “No, Mur — Steve wouldn't do this. He's my work partner but he's also my friend, I guess.” Javi pulled away so he could gesture to the dark mark. “Just a little accident at work, y’know? Cop stuff.”

You found yourself nodding at his words again, the presumed dangers of his work drove you crazy with worry sometimes. The two of you aren't exclusive, you aren't dating, you and him are just casual hook-ups that happen to always be finding yourselves in situations like these. So what if you worry about his safety? It's normal, it's friendly, it's just being a good person.

But it feels like a lie. 

“Javi?”

He took another swig from his bottle, his gaze falling back to you. “Yeah?”

You paused, thinking your next words over for a moment before proceeding with caution. “Tell me before you go away, okay? I worry when I don't hear from you.”

He seemed to be caught off guard by your words, eyes darting around as he thought. With a cheeky grin, he returned his full attention to you. “Of course. But only if you promise that you’ll tell me when you're going away too.”

“Pinky promise?” You held your pinky up innocently, waiting for Javi to do the same.

“Pinky promise.” He held up his pinky and wrapped it snugly around yours.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this is cross-posted at @miscellaneousmando 
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoy this story ❤ there's lots more to come with this, and we're looking forward to writing it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A devastating phone call leads to an argument.

“ Peña ,” Javi said as he picked up the phone. Probably another bullshit call from Centra Spike. 

“Javi? It’s Connie.”

“Oh, hey, Connie.” He waved across the office at his partner. “Let me get Steve.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Steve tells me that you’ve got a little crush.”

“That’s weird.” Javi pursed his lip and looked pointedly at Steve. “I don’t know why he would tell you that.” 

Steve smirked and took a sip of his coffee. “You’re smitten, Peña.”

“Steve’s been telling me how much nicer you’ve been to the CIA guys. That you seem happier since you’ve started hanging out with this girl.”

“I’m not nice.”  As if trying to make his point, he glared at Steve and raised his middle finger at him.

“Well, damn Javier— more polite then.” Javi fiddled with a half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray. “I know your whole persona is the badass who doesn’t need anybody, but it’s okay to want that sometimes.” He rolled his eyes at Connie’s lecture.  _ You don’t really know me, then,  _ he thought, before snapping back to the conversation. “She seems like a nice girl. I’d love to meet her." 

"Uh huh, okay," he sighed, growing more annoyed with each word out of Steve and Connie's mouths. "Thank you. Thanks a lot."

Javi dropped the receiver back into the cradle and lifted his cigarette to his mouth. He glowered at Steve and opened his mouth to yell at him some more, some real crusher to wipe that smug smile off Murphy's stupid face ---

_ Riiiiing! _

Javi groaned as the phone rang again. He really didn't feel like dealing with Steve and Connie's bullshit tag-team oh-we're-married look-at-how-cute-we-are nonsense or whatever the hell they had going on this morning. 

"Peña," he growled into the phone.

"Javier?" a deep voice replied.  _ Ah, fuck. _

"General Carrillo," Javi replied, standing up a little straighter. He snapped his fingers at Steve to get his attention and pointed at the phone.

" La  Quica  está en  Bogotá," he murmured into the phone. General Horacio Carrillo, direct and to the point, as always. 

"Quica?" Javi replied, gesturing for Steve to write it down. Quica was that little bit of good news they had been hunting for. If they got  La  Quica, this whole thing got blown wide open. "¿ Tenemos una locación ?" 

Steve dove over his desk for a pen when he couldn't find one in his breast pocket and immediately began to scribble down the location as Javi repeated the information back to him.

"Great, yeah, that's... That's great," Javi said, already grabbing his gun and badge from his desk drawer. "Fifteen minutes. Yep,  sí , see you then."

Javi threw the phone back into the cradle and tucked his gun into the back of his jeans.  He briefly remembered you admonishing him  for not wearing  his bulletproof vest.  _ There’s no time for that right now.  _ He yanked his jacket off the hook and pulled it on, gesturing with a jerk of his chin to Steve.

"I'll drive," he noted as the blond tossed the keys over their desks. 

"Let's go get that son of a bitch," Steve grinned as he followed Javi out of the embassy.

There were too many of them for Javi and Steve to stick together. So they split up. Running down streets, flying up stairs, leaping across rooftops. Hearts beating like a freight train. Guns held at the ready. 

Javi had eyes on Quica, rushing after him as the man jumped from rooftop to rooftop, dodging Javi’s bullets. There was a sliver of a moment—Quica stumbled, fell, and got up again ,  slower this time. Seemed like an injured leg. It was a clear shot for Javi, and all he had to do was make it to the next rooftop. Bracing himself, Javi took off at full speed and began to leap for Quica, gun ready. Javi spotted another shape, eyes darting to focus on the person––on their gun.

It happened in slow motion, or so it seemed to Javi. His feet had barely left the ledge of the roof  when he heard the shots –– a stray bullet  whizzed past his ear. Before he could focus on landing, he  felt  _ something _ hit his side and knock the wind out of him. It felt strangely similar to the time one of his cousins hit him in the ribs with an aluminum baseball bat growing up. He shouted and moved to  clutch his side , just barely  managing to  avoid smacking face first into the side of the building. Instead, his free arm scraped down the side of the building, gun clatter ing to the ground somewhere beneath him . His legs got caught underneath him, and before he hit the ground, his head clanged against an oil drum. 

Javi lay in a heap in the alley. He tried to sit up, but he couldn’t breathe. His head hurt. His side was on fire. Is that blood in his mouth? Did he bite his tongue? _Where was he_? 

Rolling onto his back, Javi stared up at the blue sky , framed by the rooftops above . A shaky,  rattling  wheeze left his mouth as he tried once more to breathe. There was a sweet smell that danced with the  unsettling scent  of his blood as it poured from his body. Reminded him of your perfume. Javi blinked, trying to see your face. It was what...three days ago that he was at your apartment? Or was it three weeks? He tried to sigh, but stopped as pain rippled through his chest. 

From half a neighborhood away, Steve heard the gun go off and felt his heart drop to his boots. Overhead, a flock of pigeons took off, cooing indignantly as they went.

Gun still drawn and his own trail forgotten, Steve tore down the narrow streets in search of his partner. He looked down every alley he passed and when he looped back around to where he had started, he took to the rooftops. His heart was thudding in his chest the whole time. A gunshot was bad news on either end and it always attracted unwanted attention. 

"Peña! Javi!" he called into his walkie talkie through gritted teeth. "Fuck, man, answer me! Come on!"

Steve swore and kept an eagle eye out for any sign of his partner. The fact that Javi wasn't answering was raising the hairs at the back of his neck. Every minute he couldn't find him was another minute closer to potentially losing him. 

_ ‘Was that the last time I ever saw her?’ _ Javi rolled his head to the side, thinking about that night.  _ You were so warm in his hands, the way your body molded around his fingers as he squeezed you so tightly. Your lips...how sweet with the taste of cherries on them.  _ Javi held onto the thoughts as the sky spun.  His  lips felt cold. He closed his eyes for a moment, pushing away the pain of reality. His head spun and spun and spun until the darkness of his mind exploded with color. 

Steve took the narrow, crumbling stairs two at a time, hoping the rooftop would allow him a better view. Javi couldn't have gone far, maybe a couple streets at most. He quickly looked around, heart pounding in his chest. 

_ There. _ A few streets over, he saw a high brick wall, blocking off an exit to an alleyway. It hadn’t been visible to him on the ground, and  he  had missed it entirely. Above it, a few of the roof tiles had been knocked loose, and part of the gutter had been bent. 

Steve tore down the steps, keeping his gun in hand as he sprinted towards the alley, praying Javi was still alive.  He couldn’t— wouldn’t— go through that again. 

_ Soft bells rang in the distance––wait, no. That was laughter.  _

“Cereza?”

__ _ You were twirling around like an angel in the sunlight, smiling so brightly. The bright yellow sun illuminated your face, hair flying around. Glowing green grass brushed against your legs, and you danced so happily for him.  _

Steve found Javi lying flat on his back, unmoving. It barely looked like he was breathing and at first; he had thought Javi had just fallen and gotten knocked out. 

"Shit," Steve panted, fumbling for his walkie talkie. As he quickly approached Javi, he brought it to his mouth. "This is Murphy. I found Peña. Bring the car around."

As he reached his partner, he noticed  a  rapidly growing  wet spot  on Javi's  dark-colored shirt  and quickly stepped back to avoid the puddle beneath him. Blood.

"Oh  _ fuck _ !" Steve swore, immediately jumping into action.

_ “Am I in heaven?” Javi asked as he tried to reach out to you –– but his arms felt like deadweights. His body was stuck in place, chest heavy and throbbing. You were getting further away. You simply laughed and shook your head, arms open as if you were welcoming to follow. There was another woman with you, one not so easily recognized until she came closer. His mother — Javi felt like crying, but nothing came out. He couldn't  _ _ remember _ _ the last time he’d seen her alive. Or maybe he just blocked the memory out. But she was here...this was heaven.  _

__ “Come on man, I need you —  I need you to wake up.” Steve grunted, pushing down on Javi’s side , trying to  staunch the bleeding.  With his other hand, he pressed his walkie to his mouth and quickly notified Search Bloc to the more dire situation now at hand.

"We're gonna need an ambulance too - you gotta -  _ Jesus _ ,  _ fuck,  _ you gotta hurry. He was, uh,  h- hit in the ribs." Steve tried to sound calm, but he knew the waver in his voice gave him away. "Fucking bastard got away - get here  _ now _ !" 

Steve threw the stupid fucking walkie talkie aside, focusing on the man under his hands. Javi was growing colder by the second as the pool of blood that surrounded him seeped into the fabric of his partner’s jeans. With his hands stained red, Steve fou ght off the urge to scream, trying to stay calm despite how his hands and shoulders trembled. “Come on, Javi, I know you're in there — please, I know you're alive.  You gotta stay with me, man.  Please, just  _ open your fucking  _ **_eyes_ ** .” 

_ Javi heard the distant ringing of your voice – so sweet and beautiful in his ear. He struggled to sit up, but someone held him down. It was you, his cereza. You were back and holding his face, whispering to him. No, now you were screaming at him. "I need you to wake up, Javi. Wake up. Wake up."  _

“Cereza…” Javi didn’t want to wake up, why were you pushing him away? He wanted to stay with you forever. He wanted to stay. Stay with the both of you.

_“Wake up...Javi..._ Wake up _…_ **Wake up** ––” _That wasn’t his cereza...Where’s his cereza? What did they do with his cereza? Who the fuck took her—_

Javi gasped as his eyes flew open, trying to lurch up but instead yelling in pain. Hands scrambled to keep him down and Javi focused on a very blurry face staring down at him. “Cereza?”

“ Who?  No, Javi,  it’s me,  it’s Steve.” The figure said with a shaky, deep voice.  _ Oh fuck him _ . 

“Cereza…” 

“What is it, what about her?” Steve asked, puzzled. That's the only thing that's come from Javi the whole time,  he had only just called for you.

“Tell her that I…”

And like that, Javi was out like a light. His head lolled backwards and hit the pavement with a light smack. 

"Javi! Fuck...!"

The ride to the hospital was a blur. Too many lights, too many sounds. Javi had yelled for it to stop — for everything to stop. The pain. The needles. The chatter above him. He wanted to just fucking  _ die _ , he couldn't care less. All he was was a meaningless speck, expendable, easily replaced. His father would move on with his little old life, heart broken too many times already. Steve would get a new partner and take down Escobar without another hiccup from Javi. And you... You would advance in your career. You would find a good husband and settle down. You deserved better  — You’ll be happier without him. 

Javi felt something jolt him — someone was pressing on his chest again. Did he stop breathing? No, he can still feel his chest aching with every breath. Ignoring it, Javi let his head roll to the side — but it was pushed up again. Someone ripped his eyelids open and shined a bright light in each eye— earning a growl of distaste from Javi. God, he wanted to be left  _ alone _ . He was  _ tired _ . All he wanted to do was sleep…sleep and think of his cereza. How sweet she is...how pretty...Javi felt the corners of his mouth twitch with the instance of a smile before drifting off into his own little heaven. 

  
  


Darkness. Wait, no. Blinding fluorescent lights and an annoying buzz off to the distance. There was a sickly clean smell mixed with the coppery stench of dried blood. Javi grunted, trying to lift his hands to cover his eyes, but they were numb—or maybe they weren't there at all, he couldn’t really tell. He tried to breathe but his chest felt heavy, throat constricted and painfully dry.

A shadow cast over him, and Javi opened his eyes. It was a woman—maybe, she was very blurry but the hair and outfit—

“Cereza…?” Javi mumbled hoarsely, peering up at the blurry shape above him curiously. Feminine voice...wait, no, she's speaking in Spanish. _No._ _Not mi_ _Cereza._

“Cállate, e stá muy...muy fuerte .” He barked gruffly, head feeling awfully heavy.  “Déjame en paz.”

A familiar voice repeated the order and the nurses  scurried back wards out of the room. It was Steve, Javi realized, picking his head up just the tiniest bit to glare at the man  sitting next to his bed. 

“ _ You _ …Why didn't you just let me  _ die _ ?”

“Well good morning to you too, you fuckin ' drama queen.” Steve sighed, rubbing his temples. “You were shot in the ribs, Javi. Not in the head or neck. You’re gonna feel it later when the morphine wears off. And  it’s a  damn  good thing  that you're concussed because I would knock you in the head again, asshole.”

Javi grunted and shifted in his bed, trying to sit up. Steve moved to his side to help him. Javi hated it. Hated needing help. 

Steve leaned back in his chair. “Ambassador’s office called. Wanted your statement.”

Javi groaned. “Now?”

“They said whenever you’re ready. No rush.” Steve rested his chin on his fist. “What do you remember?”

“I was chasing La Quica, and another guy was lying in wait and shot me. He got away.” 

“Hey man, don’t feel bad about losing Quica. You got shot. You’re damn lucky it didn’t puncture a lung.” Steve patted Javi on the knee. “There’ll be a next time.”

Javi fiddled with the edge of the blanket, folding it back and forth. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Do you remember what happened after you got hit? What you said?”

“No.”  _ Yes.  _

“You were delirious. Calling out for that girl. Wanted me to tell her something, but then you passed out.”

_ Mi cereza. What was it that I had wanted to say?  _ _ Oh, right. That.  _ __ “It was nothing.”

Steve pressed his lips into a thin line. “Sure it was. I thought I’d let her know what happened, now that you’re stable.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Javi tried to cross his arms, but the pull on his side was too much. “I don’t want her to see me like this. Besides, she doesn’t even know which agency we’re with— it’ll be too much to explain.” 

Steve leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms  behind his head , wholly not buying Javi’s act. Of course he wanted to see you. 

“Murphy, I honestly don’t want to talk anymore right now. I don’t even have on any fucking pants under this blanket, so forgive me if I don’t want to continue this conversation.”

Steve scoffed, stood up from his chair and checked his watch. "It's not too early - I can give her a call so you don't feel too exposed to talk to your partner or whatever."

" You wouldn’t dare ," Javi warned. "Murphy! Steve! Come on..."

Steve was already heading towards the phone at the end of the hall. He threw a backwards wave in Javi's direction as he retreated. He had spent enough time around Javier Peña to know that even though he said he didn’t want to see you, he actually did. He just didn’t want you, or anyone really, to see him like this, in a weakened state. 

  
  


“Hello?” You picked up the phone and held it with your shoulder, your hands occupied with drying a plate. 

“Sorry to call you so early, ma'am. It’s Steve Murphy.” 

“ Oh! Hi!  Um,  y ou work with Javi, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” You heard Steve let out a deep exhale on the other end of the line. “That’s actually why I called \-- he’s been injured. He’s in the hospital. I’m on my way to come pick you up.”

It took all your resolve to not drop that plate. “Wait, what? He’s hurt? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you more when I get there, okay? I’ll honk when I’m outside.”

You didn't respond for a minute -- how could you? The dial tone buzzing in your ear didn't even register until a few minutes passed.

You stood in the middle of your kitchen with the phone still  wedged between your shoulder and your head after Steve had hung up.  _ Javi had to be hurt really bad for someone to call.  _

You gathered your things and went outside to sit on the stoop, fiddling with your necklace. The cool morning air stung when you breathed too deep. You had to hold yourself back from standing up every time you saw a car coming down the street. 

After what felt like hours, but really couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, Steve pulled up and gestured for you to get in.  He stretched over the passenger side to unlock the door for you and cleared some stuff off the seat.

“What’s going on?” you asked as  soon as you opened the car door.  "What happened?! Is he okay?"

Steve wouldn’t look you in the eye. “Javi’s in the hospital. He was shot during a raid  the other day . He’s going to be fine, but I thought you might want to see him.”

"Of course I want to see him!" you nearly shouted, fumbling with the seatbelt as Steve started driving away.  _ Why didn’t they let you know sooner? _

“They gave him some morphine  before I left , so I don’t even know if he’ll be awake when we get there.”

“Where was he shot?” You felt a tightness in your chest, and you were thankful that Steve was the one who was driving.

“In the ribs.”

“What?! Was n't he wearing a vest?”

Steve hissed through his teeth. “We don’t normally wear vests.”

"I thought you said it was a raid!"  you  hissed , trying to prevent the tears  that were welling up in your eyes from falling down your cheeks.

“Yeah, well, it ruins the surprise, you know? To see a couple gringos in bulletproof vests  sneaking around .”

You turned your head and sighed, biting at your thumbnail to try and calm yourself down. The winding roads seemed to go on forever and Steve's fingers drumming on the steering wheel did little to calm your nerves. 

He sensed your unease, because he flipped a tape over and popped it into the cassette player. 

You looked over at him and picked up the empty tape box to examine it. 

"Creedence Clearwater Revival? Didn't strike me as the thing you'd listen to," you murmured, trying to will yourself to relax. 

Steve glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

"It was this or Connie's White Snake tape," he said, offering a soft smile. He reached under the seat and pulled out a shoebox filled with random cassette tapes. He set it on the seat between you and tossed the empty CCR box back in. "Here - feel free to change it."

“ Señorita, I’m sorry, but you can't go in there.” 

“Why not? I filled out the sign in sheet, and I’m being accompanied by someone who’s cleared to see him.” You nearly snapped at the woman, heart beating out of your chest. This nurse has been up your ass about you not being able to see Javi for the last three minutes.

“I know, but you’re not fami—”

“I’m—”  _ What were you to Javi? In this sense, you figured you were—  _ “I’m his fucking  _ girlfriend. _ ” You hissed, earning a surprised look from the receptionist. Behind you, Steve had a similar look of surprise on but nodded anyway. He wasn’t going to let things get ugly.

“She is, file that name under emergency contacts.” He didn't waste any more time after that, taking your arm and guiding you towards Javi’s room. 

You stood frozen in the doorway, eyes fixed on Javi lying in the hospital bed,  as he argued with  Connie about letting him smoke. You barely registered the hum of the tiny tv in the corner. Steve stepped around you and into the room, capturing Javi’s attention. He did a double take when he saw you standing there, on e hand  at your throat, wrapped around the necklace he had given you. “What — what are you doing here?”

You walked into the room and stood by the chair next to his bed. You ducked your head and stared at his bandages rather than look at his face. “You didn’t wear your vest.”

Javi sat up a little straighter and swallowed thickly, looking towards Steve and Connie for help. “No.”

“What ’s  _ wrong _ with you? ” You reamed, hands flying in the air as Javi ducked his head a little. All plans of being calm and collected flew out the door.  “Do you want to die?”

”Cereza...”  Javi warned quietly. The two of you have never fought before, and this was the last place it should ever happen.

”Don’t ’Cereza’ me! I  asked you to wear your vest because  I know  what you do is dangerous , and I don't want you to get hurt!  I understand that you can’t tell me exactly what it is you do, and I’m not going to ask you to tell me, but God damn, Javi!”  You grew louder and your words had much more bite to them. More emotions than Javi was willing to acknowledge. 

Something in Javi's resolve snapped. A vein throbbed in his neck and the monitor to his right jumped into a rapid cacophony of beeps.

“Well too  late now! I got hit  \--  Not the first  time,  and  it won’t be the last. So don't act like you know everything because you don't know a  _ thing  _ about what I do!”  he yelled, lurching forward despite the horrible pain in his abdomen. “ You're just a kid! A stupid kid who doesn't know a goddamn thing about how dangerous the world can be! "

You stepped back and turned away from him, took a deep breath and buried your face in your hands as you tried to calm down before you said something you’d regret. Your eyes welled up with the bitter sting of tears and you tried to blink them away. This was the first time Javi ever raised his voice at you, never mind yell at you like the way he just did. It hurt, more than you wanted to let on.

Behind you, Javi laid back down, rubbing  at his closed eyes and temple. “Fucking... bitch,” he mumbled harshly. Javi realized his mistake too late.  His eyes  flew open a nd he cursed himself for saying something so stupid.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw  Steve and Connie  exchange awkward glances and quickly leave the room.

The beeping of the heart monitor was fucking deafening in the oppressive silence that quickly filled the tiny hospital room.

Slowly, you turned around to face him, tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to fall.  You crossed your arms  over  your midsection, holding you rself together.  " _ What _ did you just call me?"  you hissed, voice dangerously low and so close to breaking. 

"I..."

"Well, excuse me for giving a shit about you.” You flung your arms out to your side. “Do you know how much I worry about you? How sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I haven’t heard from you?" 

You were crying now, the tears falling freely, pouring down your cheeks and ruining your makeup. But you didn't care. You were so fucking mad it didn't matter.

When Javi didn't say anything, you slowly  stepped closer to him. You wanted him to see how upset he made you, how much he hurt you.

"I guess you just see me as another girl to fuck until you get bored!"  Your voice cracked, and you probably didn't need to shout that last part, but you were probably never going to see him again after this, so why did you care? Why did all of this hurt so much?

"That's not --  Cereza, please ."  Javi's voice was nearly a whisper. 

" Why the fuck am I even here if that’s what you think of me, as a fucking bitch, some stupid kid? What does it matter then?  You could have been dead in a fucking hovel for all I knew.  Take this cheap piece of shit jewelry back, Javier!  Why don’t you  give it to the next  pretty girl that catches your attention ?”

You  closed your fist around  a necklace he  had given  you  and with a quick tug , it  landed in his lap  on the bed .

"And apologize to Steve  for making him call me -- though at least  he had the  fucking  decency to let me know that you're in the  goddamn  hospital!”

Before he could get another word out, you stormed out of his room, shoved past Steve and Connie and ignored the angry looks that the other staff were giving you. None of that mattered anymore. Those people didn't know how much you hurt from all of this.

You finally made it outside, the cool air  of the morning  slamming into you like a bucket of ice water. A tear moving too quick for you to brush away landed on the brick path as you walked away from the hospital.

You thought you finally found someone you could trust and  possibly even love,  but it was all a fucking joke. 

Connie and Steve watched you sp e ed out of Javi’s room, then looked at each  other . Connie  patted Steve on the shoulder, gave  him a  sympathetic look,  and said, “ Let me talk to her.”

Steve nodded, and she rushed outside of the hospital looking for you and saw you already half a block away, speed walking so fast she had to run to catch up to you, calling your name out. 

You  heard  Connie calling for you and slow ed  down enough for her to catch up to you, but she put her hand on your arm to stop you  completely.

" Hey,  you wanna grab some  lunch or something ?"  she ask ed with a smile. 

”I-I guess, thank you”  you respond. She exuded the calm that you needed to stop crying in public.  In almost any other circumstance, you would have said no. You didn’t even know her, just pieced together things that Javi had said about Steve’s wife. But she knew your situation better than anyone else. The two of you walked across the street and another block over to a small cafe.  She ordered for you both, one hand soothingly patting circles on your back.

"These guys, right?"  Connie  just rolled her eyes and  gave you a smile  as you two  moved to sit in the corner . "Think they know everything." 

”Yeah…”  You quietly sipped your coffee and shrugged. “I just don’t even know why I get so worried about him. We’re not even a couple.”

”Believe me, Steve and I have arguments about work too, It’s natural to be worried for them, especially since they only ever use half a brain.  When you care about someone, the labels don’t matter so much.”

You smiled a bit  then and let out a short laugh. Connie took  her napkin and wiped at your eyes,  one of her gentle hands still holding yours as they rested on the table . 

"There. Now I see why Javi doesn't shut up about you."

”He...he talks about me?”

“Well, yeah. I know he said some mean things back there, and believe me, he’s gonna get an earful from me and Steve later for it. But he really does seem to like you a lot. More than I’ve seen him with any other girl. Not that he’s even  really talked about other girls before…” She trail ed  off almost to herself. 

You looked at her and wondered: could you trust this woman you didn’t even know? Was she looking out for your best interest? She did seem like an earnest person though. Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to you. “Was I too mean?” 

Connie  gave a small smile,  took one of your hands and  gave it a squeeze . “I think the moment was just heated. I’m sure neither of you meant any of it. Trust me, past his  whole  machismo facade, he cares about you. And from what I can tell, you seem to really care  about him too.” 

”Connie, what should I do?”  you ask ed her, on the verge of tears again. 

”I think you should just let it sit for a few days, let all the emotions pass and let Javi recover.  In the meantime, I’ll talk to him.  I’m on hospital rotation right now,  so I’ll be making sure he’s well  taken care of . ”

You felt more tears well up in your eyes and noticed more and more looks from others in the cafe, but Connie was still with you, unaffected, holding your hand and rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down _. Maybe you can trust her, she’s being so kind to you._

”Hun, let’s  get you  back to your place, ok? I have to  g et back  to  work , but I’ll have Steve drop you off.” 

  
  


“Why – Why would you bring her here? After I  _ specifically  _ said not  to ?” Javi groaned, running his temples in annoyance. “I wanted to keep her as far away as possible from all this bullshit.”

Steve  paced around the hospital room, trying to come up with  an answer that felt good enough. An answer that felt honest.  He just sighed and turned to look at his partner. All he could come up with was --

” D id you really have to call  her  a bitch?”

”It slipped.”

”Like hell it did !" he shouted as he rounded on Javi. " That’s bullshit, and you know it.  You probably scarred that poor girl  for life."

”She’s... She’ll be fine."

"You'll be lucky if she eve r wants to see you again.”

Javi looked down at his lap, ashamed of himself. He tried to take a deep breath to sigh, and winced, his hand flying to his ribs. "Fuck," he spat, half in pain, half in anger at himself. 

"Wanting to keep her away from all this shit? That's a piss poor excuse, Peña," Steve continued. "Man, I thought you were better than that."

"Steve."

Steve put his hand up to stop  him , shaking his head.  " Just… don’t. She deserves an apology.”

”How  the hell am I supposed to do that? You said it yourself, she probably never wants to see me again.”

” Goddamnit Peña, are you that stupid, or is it the morphine going to your head? She cares about you, probably more than you care about yourself ."

Javi's head snapped up and a shiver ran up his back at th e very suggestion that whatever it  _ is _ the two of you have together is more than just simple, no-strings-attached sex. The two of you agreed that this wasn't going to ever be more than hooking up, and it should stay that way, no matter how hard it  was. 

"She --  she’s just nice ,"  he shook his head dismissively. 

” Would  she have come here and told you how she  is always worrie d sick about you  if she was just ‘nice’ ? Get your head out of your ass and open your eyes, Peña.  When was the last time someone asked you to wear your vest?”

Javi stared past Steve at the wall. It had been a long time.

" And you know what ,"  Steve hissed. He put one hand on his waist and pointed at Javi with the other. " I think you care about her, too. I think you need her.”

Javi glared at his partner, anger and regret bubbling up inside him.  "Get out Steve, I'm too tired  to deal with your bullshit today.  And I need a fucking smoke.” 

Steve threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “Whatever, man. But don’t think you’re off the hook for this.” As he walked out the door, he looked back over his shoulder. Javi was holding the necklace , silently cursing himself for losing you.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors on Tumblr: some are not on Ao3 -  
> @MiscellaneousMando  
> @Lestrange2703  
> @summerontatooine  
> @sydnubabu  
> and me - @smarchit


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi makes it up to you.

A few days had passed  since you had visited Javi . You hadn't come by to see him again, and frankly, he didn't blame you. Why would you come see the guy who called you a bitch and broke your heart?  _ Idiot. _

Javi sighed as he buttoned up his shirt. He was a little stiff and had a hell of a time getting the shirt on without swearing enough to raise the dead. 

Everything hurt. Physically, mentally, and now, something new to Javi - he hurt emotionally. He hated that he  had  yelled at you. He hated that he hadn't heard from you, and he hated that he might never see you again.

He had finally managed to get his shirt tucked into his pants when Steve walked in, keys in hand.

"Man, you look like shit," Steve scoffed with a shake of his head.

Javi just glared at him as he tried to pull his shoes on without bending over.

Steve ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Search Bloc got the bastard who shot you, by the way. Found him hiding out in some old lady's basement."

"Great," he grunted, abandoning his quest to put his shoes on. Instead, he reached for his pack of cigarettes and pulled one out of the pack.

"You call that girl and apologize yet?" Steve asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door frame. 

"No," Javi said, slowly sitting in a chair to try and put his shoes on that way.

”Come on, Peña ," Steve sighed, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. He didn't sound mad, he wasn't yelling. He actually sounded relatively sincere. " She calls every day to ask how you’re doing.  I hear her  talking with Connie \-- she  was in tears  yesterday talking about how worried she is about you. Do you want her to become physically ill from stress because you can't wear a goddamn life-saving vest?”

Javi  sighed and ran a hand over his mouth, his mustache unkempt, the stubble on his chin grown in after a few days in the hospital. "You don't wear a vest too often either, Murph--"

"Oh, shut up, that's not the fucking point ," he snapped, holding up a hand to stop him. " Get yourself together, Peña. Before you lose  one of  the best thing s you’ve got going for you .”

Steve pulled the toothpick from behind his ear and stuck it between his teeth, seemingly done with trying to get through to the asshole in front of him.

"I'm worried I already did,"  Javi whispered as he watched his partner walk down the hallway towards the car. 

After  sitting in silence for a  minute ,  Javi got an idea.  He  found a nurse at the station  and asked  for a piece of paper and a pen.

Emotions and apologies were never Javi’s specialty, even if he studied them in college. It was  _ different _ in real-world situations. It was harder. You could lose someone in the blink of an eye just by saying the wrong thing, and he 'd lost too many people already  to fuck it up again.

Settling back down in a chair, Javi tapped the pen to his chin in thought as he stared at the blank piece of paper. If he c ouldn’t apologize face to face, maybe  he could write it down.

_ Mi cereza, _

_ I’m sorry for not listening to you and not wearing my vest on the mission.  _ _ And I’m sorry for saying such mean things to you.  _ _ I hate seeing you cry—it makes me feel like a real asshole, y’know? I guess I am one, but I don't want to be. Not  _ _ around  _ _ you. Next time I’ll listen, and the time after that too, ok? I’ve missed hearing your voice  _ _ and how it makes me feel _ _...will you talk to me  _ _ soon _ _? I get it if you don't wan _ _ t to _ _ , but I really hope you do. See you soon. — Javi _

He looked over the note, pausing at his short closing. It seemed too...cold? Javi tilted his head, tapping the pen to his chin thoughtfully.  _ Mi pollito... She's always calling me that… _

Quickly, he doodled a little rooster under his name, it's little mouth open as it crowed a small heart. Javi was proud of himself in a way, his old, broken heart feeling a little more put together as he swept his finger over the rooster. 

Javi folded up the note and tucked it into his shirt pocket before he finally, slowly, walked out  of the hospital and into Steve’s waiting car. As soon as he got in the car he lit up a cigarette, relishing in the feel of the burn after having abstained for over a week. 

Steve drove Javi back to his apartment, the two of them in silence.  Steve didn't turn the radio on, nor did he offer the box of tapes to his partner.  Javi star ed down  at his lap  as he played with his thumbs until the car pulled up to the front of their  apartment .  His brain was still a little foggy from all the pain meds,  but it didn't feel like a long enough trip to be back at their building yet .

Javi looked to Steve, taking out the folded paper from his pocket and holding it in his lap. 

“So I took your fucking advice, kind of. I wrote this letter. Do you think you can have Connie give it to her? I don’t think I’ll be welcome just yet, and I can’t call her. Not now.” Javi held out the paper to Steve, hoping he would agree. 

“ Actually, I think you can do it yourself. She's waiting for you ,” Steve  drew Javi’s attention to the window. This was  _ not _ their apartment building . “Now get out of my car and  apologize to that girl or something.”

“Asshole,” Javi grumbled, flipping Steve off as he pocketed the letter. Steve gave him one last pat on the back before pushing him out of the car.

Shaking off his nerves, Javi started for your apartment, moving slower than he really should be —  maybe he  could blame it on the broken ribs. Every step felt like a twist of his gut, and he felt like his chest was going to explode from the anxiety.  _ I'm gonna need a good smoke after this. _

  1. _225_. Javi glared at the number as he raised his fist to knock on the door. But before he could, Javi pulled back. He should just turn around and walk home — you probably don't even want to see him anyway. Not after what he said to you.



_ No, I'm not walking away. Not again. _

Javi started knocking softly. “Cereza — Cereza, are you home?”

You were mindlessly cleaning your apartment, trying to focus on anything but the fact that Javi was getting released from the hospital today. And even though you knew the plans, hearing Javi’s voice  over the low volume of the news on TV  made you tremble. You wanted to shut him away, to not open that door and let him back in. But how could you deny him?

Putting on your brave face, you swung the door open.

He looked  awful .

His hair was unkempt and his beard had grown in, though it was scattered with little bald spots. Javi looked tired, almost as if he had aged ten years since you’d last saw him. It was heartbreaking.

It took all of your power to not fall to the floor, so you just slowly  crouched  down , your hand still  clutching the door knob . Tears stung at your eyes, lips trembling as you tried to decide if you wanted to look at him or not. You were still upset with him for yelling at you, but you couldn't deny that you needed him here,  _ safe _ .

Javi started to bend down, reaching for your arm, but he recoiled at the horrible sensation in his abdomen. The wounds were still healing, and his ribs  were  sore. 

Quickly, you scrambled to your feet and pushed him up. “Stop, stop  \-- I don't need you  in the hospital again.”

Javi looked down at you in awe, the feeling of being cared for was so foreign. And it wasn't  the obligatory  type of  car ing you get from coworkers and neighbors  — it was genuine. It  had  been years since someone actually cared about him, especially the way you cared. He kicked himself in the ass for not realizing it sooner.

Slowly, you guided him into your apartment and towards the couch. It was covered in blankets and pillows, much to  Javi’s surprise . You’ d never kept your couch like that, and it was honestly quite comfortable looking. 

“I, uh, knew  Steve was going to bring you  here so I um...I made it cozier for you. Figured you wouldn't want to be stuck in another bedroom after spending so much time in a hospital bed,” you sheepishly explained after noticing how Javi was staring at the  couch .

You pulled him down slowly, helping him ease into the blankets so he could get comfortable.  You laid down next to him and rested  your head in his lap,  the way you had wanted to lay down with him in his hospital bed.  It was strange how numb you felt, so numb and yet so pushed into overdrive with your emotions –– The ungodly urge to scream and cry simmered, and you decided to just let it go. There was no point in lingering on those feelings. Javi was safe and here with you.

The room fell quiet, the only sounds were the buzz of the reporter on the t.v. covering some story about the war on drugs and an occasional pained grunt from Javi. He was running his fingers through your hair, focusing on you and only you. Javi wanted to hold you in his arms, to feel you close to his chest, but he felt like his whole torso was on fire. But the silence from you was worse, he figured.

“I'm sorry.”

You reached out for his hand that was resting by his side and brought it up so that it was resting on your stomach. You opened your eyes and said,  “I know, Javi.” 

He nearly choked – your soft voice was so small. “And I, uh, I wrote you a note. I wasn't — I didn't know I was coming here, so I was planning on giving it to Steve to give to Co — fuck it's just — here.” 

Javi grunted at his lack of romantic language, ripping the letter out of his pocket. He softened for a moment, placing his hand on top of your head in a silent apology for being so rough.

You took the letter gently, reading it once, twice, and three times. Javi looked away, kicking himself.  _ This was a bad idea, why’d I even— _

“Javi, I…” You sat up  on your knees,  taking his face in your hands. He looked like a kicked puppy, but he soon put on that indifferent face. Never a moment of weakness with him. “I missed you too.”

You combed your fingers through his unkempt hair and smiled. “I like your little drawing, pollito.” 

Javi kissed your forehead and pulled you close so that you were leaning against his uninjured side. The two of you sat in silence with the tv droning on in the background before he spoke up again. “I thought you might not want to see me again. After what I said.”

You shrugged. “You were on pain meds.”

“I still didn’t have to say the things I did.”

“Javier. I forgive you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Javi intertwined his fingers with yours in his lap. “It’s just, when I thought about not seeing you again-- losing you-- I don’t know how to describe how it felt. It hurt just as much, if not more, than where I had been shot. And I-- fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“We’re not doing so well with the whole ‘just hookups’ thing, are we?”

“Maybe not. But I don’t know if that’s what I really want anymore.” Javi tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “I think, maybe, that I want to be more than that.”

“Javier Peña, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”  you  ask ed with a small , teasing smirk.  He shrugged and turned his head away, but you put  a gentle hand on his cheek and turned  his face  back towards you , looking a little more serious this time . “Are you? Because if you are, I would say yes.” 

He grumbled  something  under his breath, the words mostly unintelligible. His mumbling stopped when you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “ Hey,  let’s not talk about it right now, okay? I’m just happy you’re safe.”

Javi hummed and pressed his forehead to yours, almost like he was trying to communicate  telepathically . You were surprised, though, when he grabbed you by your waist and moved you so that you were straddling him. 

“Javi, what are you doing? You’re hurt.”

“I just want to feel you against me. I’ve — I’ve just missed you so much.”

“Okay,” you spoke softly as you ran your hand over his shoulder and down his chest. “But seriously, I don’t want you to make your injury worse.”

He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. “I won’t,” he said, his voice muffled by your skin. He took a deep breath. You smelled clean. But not hospital clean. Laundry clean. Freshly-showered clean. 

You gasped and tilted your head back when you felt his tongue on your skin. You let out a breathy moan and rubbed your hands across his chest to his arms. 

Javi lifted his head from your neck and captured your lips in a kiss as you started working on the buttons of his shirt. He grunted as you leaned back to work on the buttons near his navel. 

“Watch the bandages,”  he warned.

You kissed him lightly on his forehead, then on his nose. Javi scrunched his face up as you laughed. You ran your hands over his exposed chest and pulled him in for a kiss, your noses smashing together  awkwardly . Javi ran his hands down your sides, briefly playing with the  hem of your shirt, before resting his hands on your hips.

"I missed you," you breathed, sliding your fingers below the waistband of his pants. You couldn't stay mad at him forever, not when he apologized and looked so sorry.

Javi let out a breathy curse when your fingers wrapped around his cock. His head fell back against the couch cushions and his grip tightened on your waist. 

"I missed you," Javi echoed , reaching up to gently pull you back in for a kiss. He trailed his fingers around to deftly pop the top button on your jeans. He went to push them down so he could  _ finally  _ feel you after so long, when you grabbed his wrist and brought it to your lips to plant a kiss there. 

He cocked his head to the side and looked a bit confused at your action. 

"Let me," you softly insisted, slowly working his cock in your hand. You didn't want him to push himself too hard. You could only imagine the looks on Steve and Connie's faces if you called to tell them you put Javi back into the hospital. "I've got you. Let me take care of you."

Javi moaned softly in compliance, moving his hands back to your hips. " _ Fuck _ ," he gasped, lifting his head to look at you.  “I just want to be inside you right now.”

He rocked your hips forward in his lap, and your clit caught on the seam of your jeans. Your head fell forward to his shoulder with a soft moan. You laughed softly and kissed the side of his neck. 

“In time Javi.”  With a smirk, you  slid off his lap and down to the floor, pulling his pants down  past his hips. Taking his cock in your hand, you lowered your head and swirled your tongue along the tip.  Javi let out a groan as  you licked up  its  length.  You felt his hand in your hair and looked up to see Javi looking down at you. 

Sitting there on the floor, in between his knees, stroking his cock, you blushed. Javi just had a way of making you feel like the most amazing woman in the world. 

“Mi cereza,” he whispered, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. “Come back up here so I can kiss you,”  he whispered , hands sliding down your thighs. 

"Let me ride you, Javi," you murmured, sitting back to look at him. "Please?"

His eyes went wide at your suggestion. Nodding, he said, “Yeah, sure.” Javi wasn’t used to you taking control.  The thought of it sent a shiver up his back and he let his hands fall to the cushions beside him.

You stood up to take off your jeans, shimmying them down to the floor with your underwear. You heard Javi let out a sigh, almost like he had been holding his breath. His eyes were wide with wonder, almost like he was looking at you for the first time. 

“Give me your hands.” You held your hands out for Javi to take as you stood in between his legs. Still holding his hands, you climbed back up on the couch, straddling him. You let go of his hands and pressed yourself against him, feeling his chest heave from the deep breaths he was taking. 

Javi took this opportunity to play with the hem of your shirt again, reaching up underneath it to feel your breasts. “No bra?” he questioned. 

You smirked. “No bra.”

Javi groaned as he squeezed them underneath your shirt. “You have some amazing tits, you know that right?”

You caught his lips in a kiss and smiled. You  slowly  sank down onto his  cock, letting him fill you up as you adjusted to him.  Javi moaned into your mouth as you moved your hips side to side .  Bringing your hands up to his shoulders, you started to move up and down his length, building up a rhythm. His hands tightly gripped your hips as he grunted in both pain and pleasure. 

Javi lifted your shirt off completely and latched his lips around your perked nub while he pinched the other, eliciting a moan from you.  You laced your fingers through his hair, holding him in place as you bounced in his lap. 

As Javi continued lavishing attention on your chest, his hands roamed down your sides. His hands gripped your waist, effectively slowing down your movements. 

You looked down at him and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. “What are you thinking about?” you asked. 

He smiled softly. “Just how amazing you are.” 

Javi grabbed your hips and started rocking them back and forth. Once you picked up the rhythm, he snaked a hand between your bodies. When he found your clit, you gasped and buried your head in his shoulder. 

"Fuck," you whispered, jerking your hips forward. 

"That's it, mi cereza," Javi murmured, his lips at your ear. 

You tried to keep a pace that wouldn’t be too hard on Javi’s side but his hand on your clit was making you lose  both your focus and your rhythm. You came after a few more thrusts, bringing your face to his and kissing him  deeply a s you pull ed at his hair. 

You could tell Javi was getting close too, his grunting and moaning coming more frequent ly . 

“ Fuck, b aby, you have to get off. I’m  gonna  cum.”

“No, just cum inside me.”

Javi reached up and placed one hand on your cheek. “Mi cereza, are you sure?”

You turned your head and kissed his palm. “I’m sure. It’s safe.”

Javi groaned and thrust up into you a few more times, probably  a bit r ougher than he should have. When he came, he wrapped his arms around your body and buried his face in your chest. 

You could feel his cock jerking inside you, and you  both  moaned. You had never felt closer to anybody. You had never felt sexier. 

The two of you were panting  heavily ; Javi sounded like he had just run a marathon. You placed your head on his shoulder, his head resting back on the couch, as the two of you came down from your high. You slowly go off his lap, careful of his side.  You shivered slightly as you felt wetness on the insides of your thighs. Getting up, you m umbled something  about going to clean up real quick and glanced at his bandages to be sure he wasn’t bleeding through. 

You walked back into the living room after slipping on a pair of terry cloth shorts to where Javi sat, motionless, on the couch.  You looked over  his face, taking in his scruffy beard where a mustache used to stand  proudly  amongst a clean-shaven face. 

“Javi, dear, you really need a shave,” you said as you took his face in your hand and turned his face left and right. “Steve brought over some of your things  last night . I put your shaving stuff in the bathroom,” you said as you got up off the couch. 

He nodded in agreement and tried to stand up from the couch but groaned in pain as he slumped back down. You quick ly help ed him up, but he insist ed  he  was  fine once he  stood up. The two of you head ed to the bathroom,  where  _ something _ bloomed in Javi's chest at the sight of your toiletries mixed together on your small bathroom counter . 

Javi groaned as he reached over the sink and into the medicine cabinet. His bandaged torso was stretching too much  and his stitches were bound to come undone if he kept up with this.

“ Oh, mi pollito \-- let me help you shave,” you offered, pushing  yourself  off the doorframe. He shot you a dirty look as you pulled the shaving cream down, but you paid it no mind. After all, you’re the one who put it up there knowing Javi would be a stubborn ass and try to do it himself. You pushed him gently, urging him to sit down so you could work.  “You look like a baby chicken.”

“Cereza, I can do it myself, ” he insisted, pulling away from you as you tried to  lather a dollop of shaving cream on his chin.

“Come on, Javi.  _ Pleeease _ ?” you begged, once again trying to just get that little bit of cream on his face.

Javi sighed, running a finger through the shaving cream. He reached up and playfully booped you on the nose with it, chuckling softly.  " Since you ’re so insistent  on helping me.”

He slumped his shoulders  in defeat as you rubbed the rest of the cream on, mumbling about how he was still functioning. Panic flashed in his eyes as you picked up the razor blade, hand reaching up to stop you as you approached his face.

“Cereza, wait. Do you even know how?”

“Shhh, I used to watch my dad shave all the time, I know what I'm doing.  Besides, I shave my legs. ” You shook his hands off, and Javi stopped you once more. “Seriously? We’re gonna be here all night at the rate.”

“You’re 24, how long ha—”

“Shhh — just trust me, ok? Your handsome little face will be fine. That mustache too.” Gently, you  pressed a reassuring kiss  to his forehead . You knew he wasn't apprehensive just because you might give him a nasty cut or mess up his beard — his work field was dangerous, it was probably just a reflex to be wary.

He was quiet the rest of the time, saying no more than a quick suggestion about shaving around his chin or his under his jaw. The cooperation was a godsend,  as it let you finish as quickly and efficiently as you could. You wiped the excess hair and cream off his face with a wet towel, and wow, his face  was —

“So smooth,” you giggled, running your fingers over his naked jaw. He rolled his eyes as you peppered him in kisses and rubbed your cheek against his.

“Cereza, stop,” he ordered, which you promptly ignored. Javi reached up and pinched your cheeks as he shimmied away from your touch.

“Stop.”

“You're no fun, ” you whine, throwing your hands up in defeat. “Now we have to take care of those bloody bandages, ok?”

“That, I can do myself.” He insisted, reaching for the gauze and antibiotic ointment for his stitches. Javi unraveled his dirtied bandages, turning away from you a little bit. “Hey, don't look, ok? I don't want you to freak out or—”

“Oh hush, ” you  tutted . “Let me just change your bandages for you so you don't rip your stitches.”

He shook his head and turned away from you. He was doing a half-ass job, the ointment smeared in the wrong places and his bandaging skills were too clumsy to pull tight. Javi was biting his cheek to keep you from noticing his pain, but the way he started bleeding  w as evident enough. 

“See, I can handle myself perfectly fine.” Javi looked like he just had party streamers stuck to his body — it was amusing in a horrible kind of way. He was too caught up in trying to show you that he was a big, macho man that could take care of himself that he didn't even secure the gauze. 

You crossed your arms and tilted your head towards him. “You sure about that?” you asked with a chuckle.

“Don’t baby me, cereza. I'm perfectly capable of helping myself.”

“You know you like it when I take care of you.” You smiled softly, running your thumb over his cheeks before reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. He pouted but leaned into your touch nonetheless.  “Have I ever told you about the time I broke my arm climbing when I was a kid? Compound fracture. Blood everywhere.”

“No?”

“Well, what I’m saying is, I can handle seeing some blood.”

You undid his work, restarting the process with more care and accuracy than Javi. He let you, though you earned some disgruntled grumbles from him. Gently, you pressed a kiss to his shoulder before leaning your forehead in the same place.

“Stop being so stupid. You drive me crazy,” you teased, but it was true. 

“I’m sorry, Cereza.” He turned back to give you a sad look, but his pout turned into a cheeky grin.

“I know you're not, so don't lie to me, mister,” you scold ed , standing up to let him know you were done. 

As Javi start ed to  slowly and carefully  put his shirt back on, you hear d his stomach rumble, startling both of you with how loud it was. 

“Javi, have you eaten  at all today ?” you ask ed as you steer ed him to the kitchen table. 

“No, that hospital food was terrible, I ate as little as possible. And they let me out pretty early this morning” he replied, happily going to sit again to rest his side. 

“Well, I prepared a few things I could make you while you stay here.  I’m thinking  chilaquiles? I know that’s more of a breakfast food even though it’s the afternoon now, but since you didn’t have breakfast yet,” you trail off as you go to pull out the ingredients from the pantry and the fridge. 

Javi fervently agreed with the suggestion, realizing just how hungry he was. He watched you start to put the dish together, reminiscing on the times he would watch his mother cook for the family. “Did I tell you  that  this was  always  my favorite dish? My mo m used to make  this for us as a special breakfast.” 

“Y ou may have mentioned it,” you said, smiling softly. “ Even though I know it’ll be nothing like hers, I thought I’d give something a shot. I just hope I don’t ruin it. I talked to Santíago  and asked  if he knew any Mexicans in the city who could help me with some recipes. He suggested a really nice abuela who was coaching me on some of the easier recipes, and she actually gave me some handwritten recipe cards, can you believe it!"  You puttered about your small kitchen, tossing spices into a bowl, half glancing at a well-loved recipe card.  "She was very sweet and helpful.  And she had a beautiful crystal collection on her windowsill  \- I’m quite jealous! Of course , Santíago helped some with the translation,” you rambled on as you fried the tortilla and cooked the chicken. “How do you want your egg?” you asked finally,  holding up two eggs in your hand.

“I like sunny-side up,"  Javi replied . ”And Cereza, I’m sure it’ll taste delicious. If you’ve been practicing with this abuela, I don’t think you can mess it up,” Javi reassured you. “I know how strict they can be in the kitchen so I’m sure she taught you well this week.” 

You finished the dish and plated up for the two of you. Javi was in heaven with the smell of food in the air and seeing you cook it for him. He was a little overwhelmed with emotion but hid it away when you set his plate in front of him. 

“Cereza, this looks and smells amazing, thank you.” 

“Of course, Javi, hope you like it.” You lean ed down and  gave him a kiss on  the cheek  before you  sat down  next to him at your kitchen table . 

He  took a bite and you watched him expectantly, waiting for him to pull a face. 

Javi groaned as he ate and continued to dig in ravenously. 

“So I take it you like it?” you ask as you see him continue to shovel food into his mouth. You finally  took a bite and  found that this  was the best batch you’ d  made so far. 

He  didn't even speak again,  instead, he popped in  a few more  forkfuls of food before he finally piped up. “This is amazing, Cereza, and I’m not just saying that because I was hungry. This is really good.” 

Pleased with the results, you both finish ed eating your food in silence, just the sound of silverware clinking on plates and Javi humming in delight as he chew ed . 

You  brought the dishes to the sink once you  were both finished, and you turn ed to see Javi  beckoning to you with a nod of his head. 

"Mi cereza, come here," he hummed, reaching for your hand. He gently pulled you  into his lap , winding his arms around your torso. 

You rested your head on his chest as he ran his fingers through your hair. He leaned his head down and kissed the top of your head. “I’m DEA, by the way,” he mumbled into your hair. 

You pulled back slightly to look up at him , confusion evident on your face at his sudden admission . 

“The night we met, you guessed that I was either CIA or DEA.” He shrugged and sighed, wincing at the action. “I figured you deserved to know the truth. 

“Hmmm.  _ La DEA.  _ I guess that makes sense," you hum med , moving back to cuddle against his chest. 

“I, uh, ” he hesitated, wondering if this was really the best idea.  _ It’s going to put her in a lot of danger… But I can protect her. _

“ I was being serious before. It doesn’t feel right to me, the idea of being with another person right now. Or you sleeping with someone else… I don’t want that anymore.  You just — you make me happy, and I can't let you go. I got so scared that you would never want to see me again after what I said at the hospital. But you did, and I can't…”

You put your hand  on his mouth  to stop his rambling, shifting so you could cup his cheeks in your palms. “Javi,  _ Javier _ , look at me.”

His lip trembled, dark eyes wide as they stared down at you. Javi’s hands squeezed your sides, breathing heavily. It's been a long time since he's done this—and it didn't go well since then either. 

You stood up and took his hand to help him up too, and you walked back over to the couch.  You sat him down  and cuddled up next to him and looked into his eyes. 

“ Javi,  If you're asking me to be your girlfriend, to be part of your life, exclusively, then I accept.” 

_ I want you in my life forever.  _ “I — Cereza–” 

You pulled him in close, kissing him gently.  “I want to make this work, too Javi. I think we should give this a try and see where it goes.” 

Smiling, Javi brought his hand up to your cheek and gave you a sweet kiss. You rested your head on his shoulder and the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. 

"Javi."

"Cereza."

"You're bleeding again."

"Fuck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors: some are not on Ao3 -  
> @MiscellaneousMando  
> @Lestrange2703  
> @summerontatooine  
> @sydnubabu  
> and me - @smarchit


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A double date turns dark; something twisted is on it's way.

**_Chapter 6_ **

You were putting the finishing touches on your eye shadow when you heard  the  ancient doorbell buzz through the apartment. You set down your brush and leaned out of your door so your voice would carry. "It's open! Come on in!"

Javi's heavy footsteps echoed down the hall to you, and by the time he reached your bedroom, he had already removed his sunglasses and tucked them into his shirt. He had a slight frown on his face, and you gave a playful pout in response. 

"So serious," you hummed, as you turned back to the mirror and patted a bit more blush on your cheeks before you looked back at him.

"You shouldn't do that," he said. 

"Do what?" You turned back to the mirror and fluffed up your hair one more time.

"Say your door is open. What if it wasn't me? What if it was someone who wanted to hurt you?"

"Javi, this is a safe area. I know all my neighbors."

"That isn't the point."

You smiled and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him sweetly. "I'm fine, Javi. I'm tough."

"I know  you are.” He went and flopped down on your bed. “I’ve said the same thing to my pops. And I know he’s got a gun.”

You chuckled a bit and checked your makeup in the mirror.  “Why does your dad have a gun? Doesn’t he live on a farm?”

Javi shrugged and mumbled, “Coyotes. They go after the chickens.”

"I don't think any coyote will come into my house." You bit your lip and glanced at him. "Do you think I should have a gun?"

"Might not hurt. Bogotá isn't safe right now. You know that."

"Yeah, but I have a big handsome boyfriend to protect me!"

"I might not always be around to protect you," he replied.

"Don't talk like that," you said softly, reaching into your make up bag to hunt for your lipstick. You had been looking for it for a few days now and hoped it would turn up somewhere.

"Just saying," he said, picking at a loose thread on your bedspread.

You grumbled as you turned your bag upside down, sending its contents

clattering to your vanity. 

"God, damn it!" you hissed, throwing the empty bag to the side. "It's not in here!"

"What are you looking for?" Javi asked, craning his neck to try and see around you.

"My lipstick! The pink one I wore when we went to that restaurant a few weeks ago? It's not in here."

Javi hummed and checked his watch. You made eye contact with him in the mirror and saw him stand up. He reached for your hand and offered you a smile.

"Mi cereza," he soothed as he slowly turned you to face him, "It's just Steve and Connie. Not the president of Columbia. And it's bowling. Not the Ritz. You look beautiful without it."

You pouted a little and he chuckled a bit before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll buy you another, okay?" he offered. He grabbed your jacket from the bed and folded it over his arm.

You shook your head and selected a different color. It wasn't your favorite - too pink and kind of garish looking, but it would have to do for tonight.

"That was one I brought from home, it's impossible to get it here."

Javi pressed a kiss to your temple and gestured for you to go first out of your bedroom. 

You turned off the light and led him to your living room where you slid your shoes on. 

"Ready?" he asked, already at the door. 

"You rushing me, Javi?" you teased, pecking him on the lips as you grabbed your keys from the bowl.

He chuckled as you locked up your front door and triple checked to make sure it was locked. 

"Cereza, you're worth waiting for."

You gave the door knob one last tug - it had always been tricky, and pulled Javi down by his collar for a kiss.

"Correct answer," you said with a wink as you bounded down the steps towards his truck.

Javi laughed and took a swipe at your ass as he followed you.

  
  


“Hey, it’s about time you two showed up!” Connie shouted over the din of the bowling alley as she waved you over. The clatter of pins and loud cheers in the background drowned out Steve’s follow-up quip, but Connie swatted at his chest in response to whatever he had said as you approached.

“Sorry,” you said, shrugging your purse off your shoulder. “I was looking for something. I guess I lost track of time.”

“That’s okay!” Connie said, getting up to hug you. “We’re waiting for a lane to open up anyway! How’ve you been? It feels like it’s been forever!”

“I’m good! Work’s been busy,” you replied. "My classes just ended for the summer and I've been waiting for my professors to submit my grades - it's been absolutely nonstop!"

Steve shook Javi’s hand and lifted his beer bottle in a half-greeting towards you as you took your seat.

Javi kissed your cheek and checked his back pocket to make sure he had his wallet.

"I'm gonna go get shoes for us, okay?" he said, "I'll get you a drink too."

"Thanks, babe," you replied, brushing your hand against his arm as he dropped his keys and lighter to the table. He deposited his cigarette butt into the ashtray built into the table and disappeared through the crowd towards the counter.

Connie leaned forward so you could hear each other better over the noise. Steve had leaned back in his chair away from you, smoke pouring from his mouth, his eyes sharp as he watched for an open lane.

"So," Connie began excitedly, "How are you two? How have things been going?"

"Oh, good! Really good," you said with a smile. "Javi is healing really well. He had his stitches out two weeks ago. Those therapy exercises you recommended are amazing!"

She beamed and took a sip of her drink before continuing. "Steve tells me Javi isn't as short with the other agents at the office anymore.”

“Yeah, I guess getting shot will put things into perspective for you.”

Connie laughed. “I don’t think it was his injury.” 

You opened your mouth to say something but were quickly cut off by a grunt from Steve. 

"Hey, let's get that one," he pointed to a group three lanes over who were gathering up their belongings. He stood quickly and grabbed Connie's bag and sweater and made his way over, hovering at a distance while he waited for them to leave.

Connie snorted and stood up. "He can be so awkward sometimes, I swear. Do you know how he introduced himself to me? He walked up to me and said, 'Oh, my friends said you were checking out my ass - who looks at a cop's ass?' I mean  _ come on _ !"

You laughed and shook your head as she rolled her eyes. "They think they're  all  suave and charming, but they really kinda lose it around us,  don’t they ?"

Connie rolled her eyes and picked up her drink and Steve's wallet that he had left behind on his chair. "They lose something, alright," she chuckled as you followed her through the crowd. 

Steve was already seated at the monitor and punching names into the bulky monitor when you joined him.

Connie dropped his wallet into his lap and laughed when he looked down at it like it had fallen from the sky. 

You looked up as Javi returned with your drink and smiled when you saw the extra cherries bobbing between the ice cubes.

"Thanks," you said, kissing his cheek as he took his seat beside you. Javi kissed you sweetly and put a hand around your waist.

“All right lovebirds,  knock it off," Steve grumbled. " The order is me, then Connie, then Fred and Wilma over here.”

Javi set down his beer. “Hang on. If we’re Fred and Wilma, who are you two?”

Steve crossed his arms. “We’re Barney and Betty. Because we’re both blond e .”

Connie let out a laugh. “That’s our go-to Halloween costume.”

Javi rolled his eyes and looked over at you. "Please," he mumbled under his breath, "If anything we're like, Lucy and Ricky."

You thought for a moment and then laughed. "Wait! Didn't Betty have black hair?"

  
  


“Here, let me help you,” Javi said as he  slid up behind you. 

You laughed as you picked up your ball. Javi held you by your hips and kissed you behind your ear. “Really now, pollito, you’re going to help me? You just got a gutter ball!”

Javi grunted and buried his nose in your hair. “I was just warming up.”

"Oho, were you now?" you teased, grinding your hips back against him. "Alright, maestro. Show me the ropes."

Javi made a small noise––It was low and minuscule, almost like a sharp inhale, Adam's apple bobbing. You would have almost missed it if it wasn’t exactly what you were looking for. 

“First, you need to take a step back,” he murmured, pulling your ass tight to his hips. “Then, aim straight down the middle like this…” Maneuvering your body, his warm hands slid up your arms and helped ‘position’ you perfectly. Well, as perfect as Javi’s blind ass could get.   
“Pollito, you do realize I’m leaning left, right?” 

“What? No, the center pin is right there…” Javi lifted one hand to point off in the wrong direction, and you couldn’t help but sigh.

“Baby, you need to get your eyes checked out.”

"I have perfect vision," he said confidently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hey, Casanova!" Steve called, "You gonna let the poor girl go or you gonna stand there all damn night!"

Javi pressed a kiss to your cheek and flipped Steve off before making his way back to his seat.

After a few  frames , you fell into the groove of things while Javi miserably trailed behind. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he was nearly 60 points behind all of you––You and Connie taking the lead.

“You’re up, hun!” Connie called  to you as she made her way back to Steve, who gave her a quiet, “Good job, babe”.

Javi sat with his arms hanging on the backs of the chairs beside him and his legs spread, taking up as much room as possible. You could practically feel his eyes on you as you walked up to the lane, so you turned around and blew him a kiss before you bowled your frame. 

With a smirk, you sauntered back to where he was sitting. He tilted his head to the side as if to ask you a question. You sat on his lap and swung your legs across so that they were in the chair next to you. You reached over and plucked Javi’s beer out of his hand and took a swig. 

“Hey,” Javi interjected. “What’s the deal? I can get you another drink.”

You smiled and kissed his cheek, handing the bottle back to him. “I just wanted a sip,” you whispered, your lips ghosting against his skin. You pressed another kiss against his cheek before trailing kisses lower to his jaw. Javi grunted and adjusted you on his lap. 

Javi's eyes went wide, and he took a swig of his beer when he felt your tongue on the side of his neck. He switched the bottle to his left hand and rested his right on your thigh. 

You continued kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin of his neck as his fingers slipped up underneath the hem of your skirt. 

“Hey Peña!” Steve called out , startling you both. “You gonna take your turn or what?”

  
  
  


After a few more games, Javi started to insist less and less that he was just warming up and had taken up sullenly drinking his beer while the rest of you chatted. Connie was the unopposed champion of the evening and insisted on buying you all celebratory drinks. 

She had just finished telling a story of how a patient being treated in the ER back in Miami took off running, trying to use the IV holder as a getaway car when she glanced down at her pager.

"Shit," she groaned. "Hey, I gotta go. Couple guys came in with gunshots and both Manuela  _ and  _ Ana María called in sick."

"I'll drive you over," Steve said, draining the rest of his beer. He stood and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and took the keys from the pocket. 

“We should be getting on our way too,” you gestured to Javi, who was idly sipping the remnants of his beer. “It’s getting late.”

Connie quickly pulled you into a tight hug and smiled. "I had so much fun tonight! We should do this again soon!"

You nodded in agreement and stood to collect your own things as Connie ran to catch up with Steve.

“You really wanna go?” Javi grunted, standing up to slide behind you, hands on your waist. “It’s not that late…”

You laughed softly, turning around to give him a peck on the lips. “Pollito, our night isn’t  _ ending _ here.” Rocking your hips back, Javi quieted himself by burying his face in the nape of your neck. “I think I should reward you for trying your best tonight, yeah?”

“I wasn’t  _ that _ bad, cereza.” He grumbled, pulling away so he could pull on his jacket.

“So  you don’t think you deserve a  reward?”

“...Fine. C’mon, let’s just get going.”

  
  


Javi knew something was wrong the minute he  turned  onto your street. The streetlight at the end of the walk was out, but he had been certain it had been on when he picked you up earlier that evening.

You didn't notice anything amiss as you leaned back to collect your jacket from the backseat of his truck. 

"There's an open spot  right  here," you said as he swung the car into a tight spot near a burned out light. 

Javi glanced down when he  felt  something crunch underneath his boots  as he got out of the car .  _ Glass. What the hell?  _ He looked around, wondering if maybe a window had been busted in  an  apartment. A thought occurred to him, and he looked up at the shattered street light. 

"Fuck," he muttered, wondering if he should move his car, lest it fall victim to a break in. He turned his head to look at you, but you were already making your way up the stairs to the landing. 

He sighed and made sure nothing of value was in his car before quickly following you. 

You were fumbling with your purse in a hunt for your keys when he made it upstairs. He pulled out his lighter to try  to  help you , and thought, not for the first time, that you needed a light outside your door. 

Something on your front door caught his eye in the dancing light from the flame of his lighter, and he shoved you behind his back. Your  door was open. 

"Ow, Javi!" you cried, grabbing his arm to steady yourself. "Jesus, what the hell is the matter with you?"

"I need you to go to my car,” he said softly, one hand firmly gripping your arm. “Go to my car , lock the doors, and call Steve. Tell him to get here as soon as possible, if not sooner.”

“Javi, what the hell--”

“Go!” he growled, pressing his keys into your palm. "Don't get out until I tell you it's safe."

You searched his face for any hint as to what was going on, but you trusted Javi enough to do what he said. It was with the same urgency as that day in the market a few months ago. Quickly, you rushed down the stairs to Javi's car and wrenched the door open. You threw yourself inside and fumbled with his car phone before you managed to dial Steve's house with shaky fingers.

  
  


Javi didn’t want to wait for Steve to get there, and a couple of months ago, he wouldn’t have. But going into a dark apartment alone without a flashlight didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore. So he waited, gun drawn. 

It felt like it took a fucking eternity for Steve to get there. He pulled his own car up on the curb opposite your building and jumped out, only giving a single nod in the direction of Javi's car to you.

"What the hell is going on?" Steve asked, his gun already in hand. "I heard her on the phone and was out the door before I could ask."

Javi nodded to your  open  door and clicked the safety off, ready for whatever, or  _ whoever _ , was inside waiting for them.

They searched  _ every  _ room. Every closet, back corner, every cupboard. Anywhere either of them thought to look for a wire, camera, or - Javi shuddered at the thought -  _ a person. _

Nothing seemed to be disturbed, but that didn’t mean anything. The Murphys hadn’t noticed anything wrong until they saw their dead cat  strung up in their apartment . 

Steve shrugged in defeat when Javi joined him in the living room. 

"I dunno man, this place is empty," he said, tucking his gun back into his pants. "There's nothing here. It's a simple B and E, that's all."

"But they didn't  _ take  _ anything. It just doesn't feel right," Javi replied, checking your coat closet one last time. He shook his head and put his hand in his pocket. Steve was right though. 

The blond sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Maybe they didn't find anything worth taking? I mean, she is a grad student. They don't exactly live in the lap of luxury."

Javi heaved a sigh and nodded. "Yeah. Maybe."

Steve clapped a hand on Javi's shoulder as he went to leave. "I wouldn't let her stay here until you fix that door though. And maybe get her a gun."

Javi snorted and followed his partner down the stairs. "How many times have you asked Connie to carry a gun?"

"She doesn't  _ believe  _ in guns," Steve said sarcastically as he unlocked his car. "Told her, I said, "Connie, I'm sure even Escobar's wife has a gun.""

"How far did that get you?"

Steve shrugged as he got in the driver's seat. "Slept on the couch, if that's what you're asking. Night, Peña."

Javi raised his arm in a wave as he watched Steve drive away before he turned back to his own car.

Javi found you curled up on the floor in the backseat of his car. “What are you doing on the floor?”

You shrugged, noncommittal. “I didn’t want anybody to see me alone in the car.”

Javi grunted and opened the rear door. “Well, you can go ahead and get out  of there  now. I’m here.”

As you stepped onto the uneven pavement, Javi pulled you close to his chest. “You okay to stay at my place tonight?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Was anything missing?” You just assumed it was a burglary.  You had no idea...

“Not that I could tell. But I want to replace the lock before you’re there alone again.” He hummed. “Maybe two locks.”

“I don’t understand. I’ve never felt unsafe there.”

“It’s alright, mi cereza. It happens to the best of us.”

You grumbled as you pulled out of his arms. “Can you come up with me so I can grab my stuff?”

Javi leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “And when we get back to my place we can have some hot chocolate or something.”

You laughed. “Actually, I think I’d rather have a whiskey.”

  
  


"Hey Javi-- there's a package that came for you this morning," Elaine, the little secretary called when Javi and Steve entered the front office. It had been almost two weeks since the break in at your apartment and it had almost slipped from Javi's mind after a big lead came in regarding a huge shipment from Medellín.

Steve paused, styrofoam coffee cup raised halfway to his lips. "Package?"

"Who's it from?" Javi asked, putting a hand on his belt. He glanced at Steve and then at Elaine, one thick brow raised in curiosity. 

Elaine shrugged and looked at a sticky note taped to her typewriter. "I don't know, it was here when I came in this morning. It just said 'c/o Special Agent Peña.' I just went in and put it on your desk. It was really heavy."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Javi said, putting a hand on her shoulder. He cast a nervous glance at Steve and continued into their shared office.

On top of Javi's desk was a large package wrapped in brown paper, tied with twine. The address was typed and tacked on with tape. It was nondescript, and something akin to fear slithered down Javi's back.

"No postage," Steve noted, glancing over his partner's shoulder.

Javi felt his stomach drop into his shoes.

"Get the hell away from the desk!" Javi barked as he jumped backwards away from his desk. Steve stumbled backwards into the whiteboard and his coffee cup slid from his fingers and onto the floor. Javi rushed to the doorway of the office, his heart thudding against his ribcage. "Elaine! Call Noonan. Tell her to order an evac for the building. I think this is a bomb. I want that kid from Intelligence down here  _ now _ !"

Steve's head whipped around at Javi's words and he glanced from the package to Elaine frantically calling the ambassador. 

  
  


It didn't take long for the ambassador to issue the evacuation for the embassy. She made sure to send the word to Intelligence to send the kid, Tyler, as Javi requested. He was a new hire, but he knew his shit regarding suspicious packages. It only took him a few moments to examine the package on Javi's desk to make the call to where Intelligence and the ambassador were located outside the embassy.

“Go ahead and cancel that evac," he said into his walkie talkie. "It’s just a bunch of pictures of some girl.” Tyler held up a picture in his hand and smirked as he looked it over. "Creep shots. This ain't one of Peña's informants, is it?"

Noonan shot a look over her shoulder to where Javi was wearing a hole in the cement. At Tyler's voice on the comm, his head snapped up. 

“Girl? Fuck --  lemme through! ” Javi pushed  his way through the crowd to get back into the building, ignoring Noonan's protests. When he got back to the office, he snatched the pictures from Tyler's hands . 

"Jesus, man, just joking around!" Tyler huffed, put his hands up and stepp ed back from the crate.  "Relax, man!"

It was horrific. The crate was filled with hundreds, maybe even thousands, of pictures of  _ you _ . At the top were all pictures taken from afar at the market or walking down the street, but sticking his hand deep into the crate, Javi pulled up a picture he had never seen before. A young girl with a striking resemblance to you sitting on the front lawn of a  nondescript, one story red brick  house,  her little arms raised to the sky, mouth open in a toothy grin.  _ Childhood photos.  _ On the blank side of the photo, what must have been your home address was scrawled by a sloppy hand.  He looked down at another photo of the same girl, now slightly older, sitting on the lap of a heavy-set older woman on some hideous yellow couch.

“Out. Everyone out!” he barked  suddenly , lest there be an indecent picture of you  buried in the pile somewhere .

Steve shut the door  in the face of the busybodies hoping to get a glimpse of the pictures.  He turned and watched Javi dump the contents of the box out onto his desk.

"Holy shit," Javi breathed, running a hand over his mouth as the photos scattered over his desk and spilled to the floor. "Holy  _ shit _ ."

Steve let out a low whistle. "Jesus Christ. Peña, what the fuck is this?"

"They've been watching her -- following her. For fucking months, if this is anything to go off of."

Steve reached for a picture, a Polaroid, taken a few days prior, the date scrawled on the bottom in Sharpie. _6/21/87._ Javi recognized it by the bright yellow clip in your hair that he bought for you the week before. You were crouched down with a fellow student, his hand outstretched to deposit samples of soil into a bucket. His heart sank when he realized where it had been taken. 

"At work, Steve," Javi said, his shoulders rounded in defeat. He reached for another photo of you, taken from the window of a doorway. Your shoulders were hunched in concentration as you stared towards a fixed point at the front of the classroom, completely oblivious to the camera at the door. "At school. It's like... Fuck, I don't even want to think about it."

Steve perched himself on the corner of his desk and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at the pictures. One caught his eye and he held it up to examine it. It was taken at night and you were in your pajamas, by the looks of it - tiny shorts and an old high school marching band t-shirt, taking your garbage to the dumpster  around the back of your building. 

“Poor girl,” Steve muttered as he passed the photograph to Javi, who stiffly stared down at the image. You look unbothered––relaxed and unknowing of the danger that lurked only a few feet away. Javi shook the image of you being dragged away by some stranger into the dark of the night out of his mind. He knew he would never let that happen to you. Never.

He was so focused on the photos in front of him that he nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone on his desk rang, breaking the oppressive silence of the office.

"Peña," Javi barked into the receiver. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed sleep from his eyes. When there was no answer, he tried again. "This is Peña."

The line went dead and he dropped the phone onto the cradle with a grunt.

Steve held up a photo of you at a cafe licking cream off your fingers, caught mid-smile. You were with some friends from the university and Javi felt his skin crawl at how close the picture had been taken from. Almost as if someone in your group had been...

"Jesus," Javi murmured, snatching the picture from Steve's hand.

"What are you thinking?" Steve asked as he began to sort through another stack of pictures.

Javi opened his mouth to reply, but the phone ringing again cut him off.

Steve glanced at him and reached for the receiver this time. "This is Murphy."

He shook his head and hung up after a second. 

"Who was it?"

Steve shrugged and turned his attention back to the pictures. "No one there."

Javi sighed and rolled his eyes. He looked at a picture that made his heart stop. You were maybe twelve years old in the photo, your arm wrapped in a pink cast that was covered in graffiti from your friends. You were drinking from a hose, surrounded by a group of other kids. On the back was scribbled in a neat hand, different  from all the others: "Family reunion, 1974."

"Where the hell are they getting these pictures?" Javi growled as he flung it back into the crate.

Steve started to say something, but the phone rang again. 

Javi grabbed the phone as Steve reached for it.

"Peña," he snarled, too irritated to play any more games.

“Javi !  Javi -  it's me! I think someone is in my apartment !”

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tragic event uproot your life in Columbia and changes the trajectory of your relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a dark one today here, guys. Read the tags, please.

Javi went rigid and felt the blood drain from his face. He gripped the phone tight in his hand as you sobbed. He turned to face Steve in horror and a cold sweat broke out across his upper lip. A million horrible thoughts flew through his mind, each worse than the last, and they all led to you dead - or worse. One scenario in particular stuck out the most. He remembered Helena. And it terrified him. He wouldn't - couldn't let that happen. Not again. 

“Cereza, what happened? Where are you? Are you ok—”

“He called me Cereza, Javi. He asked me how my boyfriend was healing. And the pictures. Javi, he was  _ here _ .” 

You broke down in hysterics as Javi put his hand over the receiver. He ordered Steve to go get the car and brought the phone back to his ear.

“Who–” Javi ran his hand through his hair and watched Steve bolt out of their office. “Who was there, cereza? Fuck, forget it, Steve and I are coming now. Are you safe? Where are you?”

“I-I’m at my neighbor’s apartment. An old abuelita. Javi, p-please hurry. I'm so scared...”

“It's okay, stay there. Don't come out until I call for you.” Javi didn't wait for a reply, he just hung up the phone and sprinted out the door. 

Steve was waiting for him, eyebrows raised as Javi entered the car. He pulled away from the curb before Javi even had the door shut. “What happened? Is she hurt? Where is she?”

“They  _ know _ who she is," Javi said, a worried edge to his voice. "Jesus, they know what we are to each other! Damn fuckers are calling her.  _ They were in her apartment _ !” Javi spat as they drove at a breakneck speed towards your apartment, his knuckles white as he clenched his hands into fists.

When they pulled up to your apartment, Javi jumped out before the car even came to a halt and raced towards the steps leading up to your door. He called your name out loud, earning some strange stares from those who milled around the building as he took the stairs two at a time.

“Aquí, señor. Ella tiene mucho miedo.” A meek and shaky voice called gently as he reached the top of the stairs.

Javi whipped his head around and spotted a little old woman peeking her head out of her door. She was gripping the doorknob for support, her back slouched with age. With a sad little smile, she beckoned him towards her with an arthritic hand.

“Muchas gracias, señora.” Javi put a hand on her arm and gently moved past her into her apartment. 

Steve and Javi shuffled into the apartment and found you, still in your pajamas, curled under a knitted blanket on the couch in the living room with a photograph clutched in your hand. 

Javi squatted down next to you and placed his hand on your cheek, brushing it with his thumb gently.

“Aquí estoy, mi cereza. I’m here.”

You didn't look at him, eyes just staring blankly ahead. Javi had seen that look before -- vacant, empty, and afraid. He often saw it on the younger kids in Search Bloc and new hires at the embassy. Shock. Softly, he called your name until you looked at him.

“Someone — Someone was in my apartment while I was sleeping.” When you met his eyes, you saw the horror that you knew was mirrored in your own. “The pictures — there were pictures of me. And he wrote on them. I don't… I couldn't finish reading all of them.” You held up the photo in your shaking hand. Javi took the photo from your grasp, his eyes never leaving yours. “And the voicemail, Javi, he called so many times. My apartment... Everything is ruined.” 

Javi sighed and shook his head as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead gently. “Steve and I will take care of it, okay? We’ll find who did this to you.”

You closed your eyes and mumbled something softly about being tired before he pulled away. The tears were still running down your cheeks as you lay down, your back pressed deeply into the cushions.

Javi took this opportunity to examine the photograph you had handed him. It was a picture of you. Half-naked, changing out of your work clothes, completely oblivious to what was happening just outside your window. 

He looked back at Steve, too terrified to even say anything at first. He showed him the photo and turned to you, thumb still rubbing circles on your hand.

Steve shook his head and passed the photo back. He craned his head to look into the kitchen, as if to see where the photo had been taken from.

Javi stood and kissed your forehead before he turned to the old woman.

“We’ll be right next door, señora. Al lado.” Javi briskly walked out and down the hall. He pushed your door in with more force than necessary; the door knob had been kicked in, the wood around it cracked and slightly splintered, the knob itself dented and askew. 

Your tables were a mess of papers and ripped up textbook pages; it looked like someone had just dumped your bookshelves. Rocks that you used to study were littered, broken throughout the room. Javi felt a crunch beneath his foot. In shock, he looked down to find broken chunks of crystal. Your favorite quartz cluster, the one from your very first dig, was shattered on the floor.

A picture frame was smashed below the sacred shelf you had placed it upon. A photo of you and your mentor was ripped up and dropped in the jagged mess. 

Among the debris, there were more pictures like the ones back at the embassy. Javi picked one up—you were sleeping, blissfully unaware of the figure and camera above you.  _ So fucking close to you. _ His stomach twisted into a knot, flipping the card over.

‘ _ You look so peaceful when you're asleep.’  _ The message was scrawled in the same hand as the one that wrote on the backs of the other photos. This was a one man job. 

“They’re analyzing the handwriting on the other pictures, right? Because they're all from the same person, from the looks of it. Could do some fingerprinting too.” Javi grunted, standing up. He found Steve toying around with your answering machine, trying to open the box.

“Yeah, and they can analyze this too.” Steve held up the cassette, having briefly listened to the messages using headphones he found on the floor while Javi looked at the photos. 

Javi pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. He looked around your ravaged apartment, at your shattered knick knacks that he had come to adore - at the little life you had made here for yourself in Columbia, shattered to pieces. Caught in the crossfire of the War on Drugs. 

"This is all my fault, Steve," he muttered, scooping up a broken amethyst shard from the floor. "All my fucking fault. You were right."

Steve slid the tape into his jacket pocket and put one firm hand on Javi's shoulder. 

"Hey, Agent Dumbass," Steve said, giving him a shake. "I wasn't right about a damn thing. You -- all of this--" he gestured around your apartment, "I never would have thought you of all people would find someone that meant this much to you. You remember that first mission together? You had that informant that got captured. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, I think that really tore you up. After what happened with her, I thought... I thought I was never gonna see you care about someone this much. You gotta protect her, man."

Javi went rigid at the mention of Helena, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself. He still saw her curled up on that filthy mattress when he closed his eyes sometimes. “I’m trying, Steve. I'm trying. I’m gonna check out her bedroom and finish the rest of the apartment. Can you do me a favor?”

Steve quirked his eyebrow, nodding.

“Take her to your apartment and let her sleep there for a few days. I won’t be going back to my apartment for a while. I  _ need  _ to find this little fucker and make him pay for putting her through this. But I don't want her to be alone.”

Steve blinked, taking in Javi’s words before nodding. “Yeah–yeah I’ll have Connie take care of her. Are you sure you don't need me?”

Javi glanced over to your bedroom, the door wide open and the mess slightly obscured by the wall. He turned back to Steve, giving him a curt nod. “Yeah. I wanna clean some stuff up before I have intelligence and the others come down to investigate.”

“You got it, Peña. Good luck.” Steve stopped by the door and pulled the tape out of his pocket. He sat it in the bowl where you normally kept your keys and pursed his lips. “If you wanna listen to it before it goes to evidence. It ain't good, and if these are just the messages she got, it's worse than we thought.” 

Steve watched his partner for a moment, his hand still on the door knob. He knew that if this was happening to Connie, he wouldn't rest until the fucker was caught. With one last glance, the blond closed the door and disappeared down the hallway.

Now that Steve had gone, Javi felt alone, too alone. An uneasy feeling took hold of his stomach as his mind clouded with paranoia. At the instance of a distant creak, Javi reached for his gun, drawing it as he crept towards your bedroom. The golden cast of fading sunlight made his shadow grow large and stretch across your pale walls, and Javi wondered if he was being watched. 

A chill crept up his spine as he looked around your destroyed bedroom. Drawers were thrown open and your panties haphazardly thrown around –– A perverted message. He sighed, picking some of them up. The nice ones he had bought you were ripped, as were most of the clothes that spilled out of your closet. He put some of your clothes on your bed, promising himself he would make you an overnight bag from what he could salvage. 

The scent of fruity perfume overwhelmed him as he made his way to your bathroom. Glass perfume bottles were smashed onto the floor, your makeup scattered around them. 

Powders and compacts dusted the linoleum and Javi saw large footprints on the carpet. Lipstick was smeared onto the mirror — a haunting ‘We’re watching’ with a litter of obscene and threatening messages scrawled on the wall in Spanish. 

Javi felt the bile rise in his throat when his eyes landed on the lone tube of lipstick on the counter. The lipstick you had been missing. It had been used to write the messages. 

Javi’s stomach dropped as he thought about you, all alone in this little apartment, with no means to protect yourself from intruders. He cursed himself for not being more concerned when your door was ajar last week –– But he figured it wouldn’t make a difference at this rate. They were with you for the last 8 months, they knew from the day he met you that you were something  _ special _ . Something Javi would throw his own life away for in the blink of an eye. Maybe he had already done that. 

The distant tinkle of laughter from the children that played in the street below pulled Javi from his thoughts. Somewhere above him, a door slammed hard enough to rattle your windows as more mature voices yelled and talked excitedly about something. 

Javi was taking too long. He didn’t know when the sick fuck would be back, but he couldn’t be here if he came back. Slinking out of your bathroom, Javi pushed some glass out of his way as he searched the room for a bag to pack for you. 

Once he was back in the living room, Javi picked up the cassette and let your overnight bag fall to the ground as he turned the tape over in his hands a few times, as he debated whether to listen to it or not. Eventually, he figured he should, to have at least some idea of what was going on. He played around with the answering machine as he slipped the tape back in. 

The first few messages were from friends, family, or Javi. "Hi, sweetie, it's mom--" - _ click _ \- "Hey, it's Beth, do you--" - _ click- _ "Mi cereza, I'm gonna be--" -click- "Hey, kid, it's dad--" " _ Cereza _ ." 

There. That voice stuck out to him — a series of wrong calls all in different contexts sprinkled through each message; " _ Won't be by till later." "Saw you in the market today." "You're out of sugar." "How's classes, cereza?" _

Javi furrowed his brow and kept listening to the tapes. As the messages became newer, the harassing calls became more frequent — each one nastier and more violent than the last. It started off as just breathing, heavy breathing, almost ragged as if the man on the line had run a marathon.

He paused on one message where the noise sounded far away and muffled. Javi could vaguely make out the splash of running water and faint humming that echoed off the wall somewhere. You were humming. It was your favorite song.  _ He had been inside your house while you were in the shower. _

A bed creaked under a shift of weight. If the realization that you were being called from the inside of your home wasn't enough — now he was calling you from your  _ bed _ ? Javi nearly vomited on spot at the sound of wet  _ squelch _ and a guttural groan. It took less than a few painstaking seconds for the wretched sound to grow louder,  _ faster _ . The grunts became breathier, more frantic.

Javi braced himself against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to stop the horrible images from entering his mind. The man on the other end of the machine moaned out your name, panting heavily as he came, almost as if he’d been doing this for a while before he even bothered to pick up the phone. 

Vile, vulgar words spilled from his mouth, hushed groans of how perfect your body was. How he longed to fuck you properly, right there on the bed. The bed Javi spent so many nights in, sweetly savoring every curve and plane of your body. This man wasn't here to savor you. No, he was here to make his message clear. Javi’s days of fun would soon be over. 

The bile that clawed its way up his throat was bitterly swallowed down as Javi hurriedly skipped to the next recording. He couldn't listen to another second of that recording. Whoever this was deserved to be gutted alive. He couldn't give two shits about the law, about the embassy or the proper  _ fucking  _ protocal for whatever he was supposed to do. No, Javi was going to murder this sick fucker.

“¿Tu novio está recuperando bien,  _ cereza _ ? Dile que La Quica envía sus saludos.” The speaker was so close to the phone - it sounded like he had picked up the phone. Like he fucking  _ knew _ that Javi would be listening. 

Javi slammed the eject button on the answering machine and wrenched the tape out, his chest heaving with a breath he didn't know he had been holding in. He almost cracked the cassette in half, but he knew that it was a fucking puzzle piece. He sucked in a lungful of air to clear his head. They needed that tape to find who was doing this to you.

“Hey,” Javi said as he leaned against the doorway, a mug of hot chocolate for you in his hand. He waited for something, anything from you as a response to let him know that he could come in. 

Your eyes flicked up at him and then back down. You whispered, “Hey.” You looked so small and fragile, wrapped up in a fleece blanket in the Murphy’s spare bedroom. 

Javi handed you the drink before gingerly sitting down on the edge of the bed. He rested a gentle hand on your foot. “Why didn’t you tell me? When you started getting those creepy calls?”

You shrugged, cradling the cup of hot chocolate in your hands. “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I just figured it was some sicko from the university. My number is in the directory. Everyone in the science department knows who I am.”

Javi sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Why— why didn’t you report it at school then?”

“Come on, Javi. You’re a cop. You know they can’t do anything about somebody making phone calls. Even if they are gross.” You sat your drink down on the nightstand. “The dean wouldn’t care. They would just say I was being paranoid.”

“Did you tell anybody?”

“No, not really. I mentioned it in passing to Suzana that I had some  _ malparido _ calling me. She just laughed and said, ‘Don’t we all.’” 

You pulled your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. 

Javi scooted closer and pulled you in close, rubbing his hand over your back. “Did you tell your parents?” he mumbled. 

Shocked, you pushed away from him. “Hell no!” Your furrowed your brow. “They would have made me come home on the next flight.” You choked up, the burn of tears starting in your eyes. “I don’t want to leave Colombia. I don’t want to leave you.”

When he was certain you were sleeping, Javi carefully stood, going slowly so he wouldn't wake you. He pulled the blanket up over your shoulder and pressed a kiss to your temple. He let his head rest against yours for a brief moment before he stood.

Your empty mug in hand, Javi exited the guest bedroom and crept down the hall back to the kitchen. 

Connie and Steve were sitting on the couch, and their eyes met Javi's as he joined them. 

Steve was sitting with his elbows on his thighs, gnawing at his thumb nail. He glanced up at Javi and reclined a bit in his seat. 

"How is she?" Connie asked, drawing her cardigan over her chest as she crossed her arms. She lifted the mug from Javi's hands and let him go past her into the living room.

"She's asleep," he said as he lowered himself into a chair. "I don't want to leave her in case she has a nightmare. I gotta find this guy."

Steve leaned forward again and reached for his beer on the coffee table. "No way, man. That isn't our department anymore. DEA doesn't touch that kinda shit."

Javi felt anger rise in his throat. "I told her I would keep her safe."

"I know," Steve said, "But can you imagine the shitshow we'd walk into if Noonan found out we were doing this when we're  _ supposed  _ to be hunting down Escobar? We'd be shit-canned before we could say, ‘How do you do?’"

Javi glared at his partner as Connie passed him a beer. He cracked the top off and flung it to the coffee table in frustration.

"The whole thing is fucked up, don't get me wrong," Steve continued, "I listened to that tape too. But we don't know who it is, we have no idea. We can't get involved just yet."

"The caller mentioned Quica," Javi said curtly. "They mentioned him by name  _ and  _ referenced the shooting. He's involved."

"The embassy won't see it that way," he replied. 

Javi sighed, trying to restrain himself from yelling. “Look––I don’t give a flying  _ fuck _ about what the embassy sees and doesn’t see. She is being targeted because of me! If I have to do this by myself then so be it.” He grunted, taking a swig of his beer, grimacing at the taste. “I’m the one who’s supposed to protect her anyway.”

“Look man, you can’t become some kind of vigilante because your girlfriend is being stalked by some creep. You gotta do this the right way, no matter how annoying it is. Jump through their hoops, do their stupid dances, the whole nine fucking yards.” 

Gritting his teeth, Javi looked away from Steve, thinking to himself for a few minutes. “There’s only one other dumbass who would be willing to help me kill this fucker.”

“C’mon, Peña, you’re really gonna bring  _ him _ into this? Carrillo’s already got himself caught up with Search Bloc and tracking down Escobar, like  _ we _ should be doing right now.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Carrillo would do it, you know he loves this kind of shit. Guy’s like a fucking bloodhound.” Javi retorted, leaning back in his seat. “I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow. We’re supposed to meet with him anyway.”

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "If you wanna get involved in the kind of shady shit Carrillo is involved in, have at it. But when Noonan catches you and tears you a new asshole, I don't wanna hear anything about it."

"If it goes through Search Bloc from an  _ anonymous  _ tip, she won't know unless some loudmouth hillbilly tells her."

Steve shook his head and threw his hand up before dropping it back to rest on his thigh. "Whatever, man. Can’t say I didn’t try to warn you."

"And that's the difference between you and Carrillo," he replied as he took another few sips of his beer.

  
  


"Ready?" Javi asked as they stood outside Horacio Carrillo's office, their stacks of files in hand.

Steve scoffed. "To talk to him? Hell no, the guy looks like he wants to push me into oncoming traffic whenever I open my mouth around him. I don't think he likes me."

"Don't take it personally, he really doesn't like anyone," Javi said as he fixed his hair in his reflection in the window. 

"Oh, yeah, great. Makes me feel so much better."

Javi chuckled, pushed the office door open, and stepped into the dimly lit office. 

Carrillo stood with his hands clasped behind his back, looking out the window into the courtyard below. Javi and Steve walked over to the desk and stood awkwardly, waiting for the colonel to turn around. They waited, not wanting to seem rude by sitting down. Steve cleared his throat, and Javi flopped down in the closest chair, tired of the formalities.

Carrillo turned slowly, jaw already set in anger before the meeting even began. A vein in his neck throbbed and set a bead of sweat on a new path beneath his olive colored shirt.

"Good morning, agent Peña," he muttered as he made his way to his desk. He looked over and nodded once at Steve. "Agent Murphy, have a seat."

Steve lowered himself into the chair beside Javi and watched as his partner handed over a thick stack of files from the DEA.

The room was silent as Carrillo looked through the photos and transcripts of calls. Occasionally, he would put a photo aside to go over later. 

"These ones here, they're from the other day?" Carrillo asked as he thumbed through the transcripts of a call for a delivery. "This is for two days from now."

"Yes, sir," Steve said. He leaned forward in the chair and pointed to a photograph of a young woman on a payphone, a yellow sticky note stuck to the paper with an address scribbled on in pen. "This is who made the call. Delivery is scheduled for sometime around 9 pm at this location."

"I can give you twenty men," Carrillo said after a moment. He wet the tip of his finger and flipped through another page of transcripts. "Maybe two dozen."

"That would be great," Javi said as he glanced over at Steve and nodded with him. "That's perfect, thank you."

"We'll let the ambassador know and she'll be in touch," Steve said. He reached down to collect his things as they prepared to leave.

“Before we leave, I wanted to ask for your help with something.”

Steve rolled his eyes dramatically and whispered under his breath, “Not this shit.”

Carrillo raised an eyebrow and shifted himself in his desk chair. With his arms behind his head, he looked almost casual and, dare Javi thought, relaxed.

Javi swallowed around the lump in his throat before continuing. “My girlfr— the girl I’ve been seeing is being terrorized by sicarios. I need your help to find out who it is so I can take care of him.”

Carrillo took a small sip from his glass and sighed. "So you want me to help with this proverbial goose chase of yours? What makes you think that I have enough time to drop everything and babysit your  _ girlfriend _ ?"

Javi bristled slightly. The way Carrillo said "girlfriend" made it seem dirty - like he was a teenager again who'd been caught sneaking into some girl's window after hours.

_ Like he didn't deserve her _ .

"I'm trying to do something right," Javi replied, his tone clipped. He nearly threw the file onto Carrillo's desk, the contents scattered with the force. "If you just look, we think it's--"

Carrillo stood up so quickly that the action caused Steve to jump back in surprise. He glanced over to Javi, a worried expression painted across his face. 

Carrillo rested his weight on closed fists against the desktop, his eyes locked on the two of them - studying them. A deep scowl was painted across his sharp features.

"Agent Peña, Agent Murphy, I am  _ supposed _ to be hunting Pablo Escobar, not finding perverts in back alleyways," he said, his voice dangerously low.

“This isn’t just some pervert in an alleyway, Colonel. We’re running on high chances that whoever this is, is connected to _La_ _Quica_.” Javi challenged him, palms falling flat on the messy desk. “Not every pervert on the street knows I got shot and was hospitalized because of him.”

“Quica?” Carrillo seemed unfazed by the mention of the sicario’s name, but Javi knew better than to be discouraged. That’s just how Carrillo worked. His head tilted almost imperceptibly to the left. “And what if this guy just happened to hear about your little problem, hm? It’s not like the locals don’t know about your… escapades. Then it would all just be a big waste of time for all of us.”

“Stop it with your fucking questions, Carrillo. Are you gonna help us or what?” Javi growled in frustration. He pushed off of the desk and crossed his arms instead.

The colonel tilted his head to the other side in thought before he reached for his pack of cigarettes. He lit one and let the puff of smoke hit Javi’s chest coolly before it dissipated into nothing. “I’ll think about it.”

Silence befell the trio, Javi’s eyes locked with Carrillo’s.  _ You will help me. ‘I won’t.’ _ They remained like that for a minute, horns locked in battle. Finally, Javi pushed forward — closer and threatening and  _ challenging _ into Carrillo’s space. The colonel returned the favor, smoke from his neglected cigarette curling between them.

“So, uh...You’ll just think about it?” Steve broke the silence, shifting uncomfortably next to Javi. Leaning back, Javi kept his eyes on Carrillo’s, the simmering tension still sparking between them.  _ Think _ wasn't  _ good _ enough. Thinking took too much  _ time _ . 

“Well, if you’re not going to help, I’ll just take this back—“ Javi angrily reached for the thick folder on the desk.

“Leave the file.”

Javi smirked slightly and withdrew his hand. He glanced at Steve and jerked his head. The seed was planted.  _ Time to go. _

“So the other day Beth was asking if I had ever seen a Star Wars movie, like––Who  _ hasn’t _ ,” you looked up at Javi in disbelief as the two of you walked home from the restaurant Javi insisted he would take you out to. “I mean, have you  _ seen _ those guys? I’m not saying I would do anything for Han Solo or Boba Fett but I totally would.” 

“Cereza–” Javi stopped walking, your rambling cut short. He was lost in his thoughts, hardly paying attention to you.  _ It’s now or never.  _ He held out his other hand, urging you to take it. “Come here, I need to talk to you about something.”

You gave him a puzzled look, taking his hand nonetheless. He looked down almost shamefully, swallowing down his qualms before they could interfere.

“I know it’s not what you want to hear,” Javi sighed, thumb brushing over your knuckles. He paused, glancing up at you with a sad smile. “But I don’t think you should live by yourself anymore.”

You looked down, and bit your lip gently before nodding slowly. There was no way you could be alone in a big apartment anymore, not when the pervert who was stalking you hadn’t even been caught yet. Even walking down the street with Javi by your side felt unsafe. “No, you’re right. I’m too scared to be alone anymore, Javi. I can’t...I don’t feel safe.”

Javi reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “So, I wanted to ask you...and I know it’s sudden-- but I think you should move in with me.” 

You opened your mouth to dispute that he didn’t really ask you anything, deflecting your shock with sarcasm.

“I’m serious, cereza. I’ll protect you. I promise,” Javi whispered, arms wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you closer. Your head fell against his chest, swaying with him as his fingers threaded through your hair.

You shifted and rested your head on his shoulder and asked, “Do you really think we’re ready for this? I mean, it’s a big step. A big commitment.”

Javi swallowed thickly at the C word. He wasn’t exactly known for it. But if there was anyone that he wanted to take this step with, it was you. “I think it will be tough, but I think it’s the right move.”

You pecked him on the cheek before leaning in and kissing his lips with a smile. “Does this mean I get to decorate your place?”

“No.” 

You pouted at Javi’s refusal. 

He let out a small chuckle and kissed your forehead. “You get to decorate  _ our  _ place.”

"Alright, I think that's most of the boxes," you said with a sigh as you glanced around the apartment. You put your hands on your hips and leaned back to crack your spine. "Anything else we can grab tomorrow or something."

Javi nodded and cleared away the takeout containers from the coffee table. "I can run by tomorrow morning after I drop you off at work, get the last couple things. What's left? That kitchen stuff and that lamp in your bedroom?"

You took a sip from your water glass and scratched your nose as you mentally counted the boxes. "I think so. Most of my stuff wasn't salvageable, so yeah, I think this is the majority of it."

Not having all of your stuff anymore would be difficult once school started up again, but that was something to think about later on. Right now you just had to focus on forgetting about what you went through and starting this new phase of your relationship with Javi. 

You slid a coaster under Javi's sweating glass before setting it back on the coffee table. You lowered yourself onto the couch and picked up the remote to surf through the channels for something halfway decent to watch. 

After he threw away the containers and boxed up the leftovers for later, he came back into the living room and slid a box over with his foot to the low bookshelf in the corner. 

“You want something else to drink?” Javi looked over his shoulder at you, his eyebrows raised as he put some of your books on the shelf. He stepped back for a brief second to check how something was positioned before he rearranged it again.  
“Grab me a beer please,” you hummed, still flicking through the channels. A little disappointed, you tossed the remote to the side with a huff, not coming across anything worthwhile to watch.  
Javi chuckled softly as he disappeared into the kitchen. He was gone for all of two seconds before the phone began to ring, breaking the otherwise peaceful silence of the apartment. 

"Can you get that?" Javi called over the sound of running water. "It's probably Murphy!"

You shouted, “Got it!” as you leapt to your feet and rushed to the phone to answer it.  
“Hello?”

The line was silent, save for a sharp intake of breath from the person on the other end, so you repeated yourself, a sense of dread ebbing over your mind. Fear pulled at your stomach and settled in at the base of your spine. Still nothing, as if the person on the other line was stuck in deep thought. Before you could hang up, the person on the other line asked a gruff but straightforward question in an unfamiliar voice.

“Where’s Peña?” 

You nearly –– You weren’t sure what. Threw up? Screamed? Fainted? The man –– he was watching you no doubt. They were always watching you. You were stupid to think it was all over. That hiding away with Javi would solve this problem. Behind you, Javi called your name from the kitchen, but you were frozen, mind buzzing in fear and panic, too afraid to even answer him. Your heart was beating in your throat, erratic thumps making your stomach jump up and down. Hot, heavy tears began to crawl down your cheeks, splattering onto the floor as you gasped for air. Not again.  _ Not. Again _ .

“Hello? Hello? ¿Estás ahí?” 

“Javi!” you screamed. You don’t think you’ve ever screamed that loud before. The receiver clattered to the ground and you stumbled backwards as you screamed and wailed for your boyfriend. In seconds your throat felt raw from the force, but you couldn’t stop. All your fears, everything you had come to dread, all your nightmares -- were coming true.

Javi rushed over to you, beers forgotten as they fell to the floor as he wrapped his arms around you. He was talking fast but you didn’t hear a word he was saying, two seconds away from puking on his tear-stained chest. He held your face in his hands to try and calm you, but found it to be useless.

Javi muttered a curse, rocking you a bit before reaching for the phone before the fucker could hang up.  
“¿Quién es? ¡Puto pendejo!” he snarled, trying to hear the person on the other line over your sobbing. 

“Peña, it’s Carrillo. Is your girl alright?”

“Colonel -- Jesus, I'm sorry. Hold on.” Javi set the phone to the side and wiped away your tears with his now free hand. 

You looked like you’d seen a ghost, so broken inside from the torment you’ve been forced to withstand with each call.

“Shh, cereza, it’s just someone I work with. It’s ok, calma.  _ Calma _ ,” he murmured as he kissed your forehead gently. 

You glanced up at him suspiciously, as if you didn’t fully trust his words. He gave you a look, thumbing your burning cheeks. As you settled down to just hiccups and sniffles, you buried your now aching head in his chest, eyes squeezed shut. 

Javi bent down and picked you up, his arms sturdy and warm as he brought you over to the couch and covered you in a blanket. He kissed your cheek gently before he picked up the phone again.  
“Colonel––” Javi sighed, rubbing his temples. “Yes, she’s fine. How did you–” _How did you get my phone number?_

“I’m in.” Carrillo cut him off, not wasting anymore time. 

“What?”   
“I’m helping you and your girlfriend. She sounds like she needs my help.” 

Javi glanced over to your curled up form, his lip drawn between his teeth as he pondered the colonel's acceptance. 

Carrillo would be the key to finding the guy who did this to you. 

“Okay.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your troubles with your stalker are coming to an end, but a new problem is just around the corner.

You opened the curtains of the large front windows and let the light pour into the room. The last box of your things was unpacked and you looked around seeing the small bit of your things mixed in here and there with Javi’s things. It was all coming together. But you looked around at the way he decorated his house and it didn’t feel like Javi. Or you for that matter. 

“Javi, baby, come out here,” you called to him. 

“Sí, Cereza?” He strode out to you and you hooked and arm around his waist and he draped an arm around your shoulders. 

“Look at this place. Did you decorate it yourself or was it already furnished when you moved in?” 

“No, these apartments were set up by the Embassy over a decade ago and came fully decorated and everything.” 

“So nothing is yours?” You  were more than a little shocked  when you realized that  not a single piece was picked out by Javi. 

“Well, no.  I mean  I did put up some personal pictures.  And there's m y hi-fi system I brought over from Texas. And I set up the bar.” 

“The bar, of course you did,” you smirked at him and playfully bumped his hip with yours. 

“And you’ve seen my candle.”

“Yeah, about that. Let’s get some new ones?”

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Sure. We can find some new candles that don't have the Virgin on them. Though I thought it was pretty romantic."

"Oh, yeah, totally," you teased.

Javi chuckled a bit and reached down to grab a handful of garbage from the coffee table.

You put your hands on your hips and looked all around the room again and sighed heavily. 

“Um… can we paint the walls?” 

“Why what’s wrong with the walls?” 

“They’re the  _ worst _ shade of pink and green I’ve ever seen, Javi.  It’s like 1976 threw up in here.”

Javi chuckled and wrapped his arms around you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and hummed.

“How bad can this be?” he asked with a laugh. “You’ve seen the Murphy’s place, and it’s way worse than this.”   
“Yeah, but at least their place is  _ decorated _ ,” you teased, jabbing his side with your fingers.

Javi let out a laugh and dodged out of your reach.

"What are you talking about! We are decorating!" he defended, eyes wide with mock horror.

"Uh-huh, only after I moved in!" you replied. You reached forward and slid a knick knack slightly to the left on the little bookshelf.

Javi pulled you close once more and pressed a kiss to your temple. "I'll leave you to it then. I'll get some dinner started, okay?"

You nodded absently as you tried to straighten a picture above the clunky television for what felt like the hundredth time since you moved in.  _ It was the damn neighbors across the hall, always slamming their door. _

While Javi got dinner ready, you looked at another pile of your stuff, determined to get as much of it put away before Monday as possible. It had been an easy transition to make, as Javi had very little in terms of decor, aside from that god awful wallpaper. You held a Himalayan salt lamp in your hands and turned this way and that with the heavy thing out at arms length trying to figure out where best to put it. You walked through his living room and placed it on the coffee table in front of his couch. 

You shook your head and sighed.  “Hm. No.”  You glanced briefly around the room as you tried to spy any potential overlooked cranny in the tiny apartment.

You pick ed it up and walk ed over to his little library nook and  saw a little table by  the plush chair , already small and too cluttered.

"Well, damn it,"  you  muttered out loud.  Y ou  sighed again  and  turn ed back and  spotted the wet bar  in the opposite corner near the little set of steps . “Definitely not.”  _ Where can I even put this _ _? _ you  thought as you groan. 

Finally you  noticed the fireplace, and there in the corner  was a wall outlet with an opening. 

“Perfect!” you exclaim ed as you set it up on the mantle. 

“Who are you talking to, Cereza?” Javi walk ed out  of the kitchen and grinned to himself when he saw you bent over  to plug in the new lamp. “What is that?” 

You grinned triumphantly  as  the lamp li t up a low,  warm  pinkish orange. 

“A  Himalayan salt lamp! Isn’t it pretty? I think it really helps even out the mood of the place.” 

Javi is quiet and looks at you curiously,  a bit skeptical of the pink glow of the lamp . “Uh…” 

“They supposedly have all kinds of healing benefits but I don’t know about that, that’s some kind of New Age hippie thing and I just think they’re really lovely, and I like the raw cut of it,” you tr ied to  explain it to him, but he just  shrugged  and  started to  walk back into the  kitchen . 

You' d  won this round.  You  reached up  and scratch ed at the hunk of salt with your fingernail. You put your finger in your mouth and smile d at the taste . “Salty!”

"Speaking of salt," Javi replied, "Can you come taste this? I don't think I put enough in this chicken."

You nodded and bounded up the few steps to the kitchen towards him.

Javi smiled and raised the wooden spoon to your lips for you to taste the stir fry from the pan.

You hummed as you tasted it and wordlessly gave him a thumbs up as you chewed. 

He waited patiently for you to swallow the chicken before asking, "Good?"

"It's delicious! And you said you don't know how to cook!"

Javi shrugged and gave the ingredients in the pan one final stir.

"I just said I never had time," he said. He reached up into the cabinet to fetch two plates down. "I guess I can cook alright. Just got busy.  And besides, it’s not as fun to cook for just yourself. "

You held the two plates aloft as Javi spooned food onto them. You stood up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek and passed his plate to him.

Javi handed you a fork and nodded in the direction of the little dining room. 

"So," he said once you were both seated at the little wooden table, "I was thinking we could head into the market tomorrow? We could check out the  stalls and grab some lunch. What do you think?"

"That sounds like fun!" you exclaimed. "We haven't been to the market in forever."  You had both just been so busy,  it was a miracle Javi even had enough time to be sitting around eating with you.

“I’ll come home early, then. We’ll have the whole afternoon to walk around,” he offered. You nodded in agreement, glad that Javi would put aside his duties just to spend a few hours with you. Though, based on his tastes, you figured you would be doing most of the shopping anyway.

The market was bustling with life, children screaming and running underfoot while old men snapped at them to go home––abuelas at small grills behind some stalls cooking orders while their daughters worked the cash registers. You saw a few strays that tugged at your heartstrings, but Javi was quick to shoot down your question before you could open your mouth. It was simple, the sheer chaos tied together by the friendly smiles that were sent your way; Javi squeezed your hand a little tighter every time another man smiled just a bit too friendly at you, whether he realized it or not was for Javi to know.

You pulled Javi over to a quiet florist’s stall, Javi blandly greeting the woman in Spanish while you searched through her stock. Javi trailed behind boredly, dusting pollen off his shoulders as you circled around the bouquets and smaller plants.

“You like those, cereza?” He tilted his head towards a bouquet of lilac, the purple flowers emitting a fragrant scent. You gave him half a nod, busy doing your own searching. Javi bothered you a few more times, questioning you (though it felt more like an interrogation) about sunflowers, daisies, and a breed of lilies you had never seen before. It was all just talk, though, none of the flowers even picked up for the matter of the fact that Javi didn’t even own a vase.  _ Actually, that’s not a bad idea _ , you thought to yourself,  _ we should get a vase or two _ . 

“Javi, look at this little guy!” You held up a small pincushion cactus in a terracotta pot. You pointed to the  two little pink flowers blooming on it. “One for you, and one for me.”

Javi laughed softly. “You’re going to fill every available space with plants, aren’t you?”

“Plants give off oxygen, pollito.” You lightly rested your hand on his arm, the cactus in between the two of you. “Maybe it’ll help you think better,” you laughed. “Figure out how to catch these guys.”

“Oh haha, very funny.”

“Javi, I’ve watched you and Steve poring over pictures for hours and not notice anything, but Connie or I can see something right away.” You turned and started to walk away. “ Besides, t he quicker work is done, the more time we have for  _ adult activities.” _

"Those are always fun," he grinned as he took one of your hands in his. He led you away from the plant stand, your new purchase safely in your other hand. "I'm always ready for adult activities."

"I am too, but sometimes adult activities include buying furniture for an apartment."

You glanced over at Javi only to see him making the cutest possible puppy dog eyes you'd ever seen. Unable to help it, you burst into giggles and covered your mouth with your joined hands. 

Javi pulled your hands to his mouth and kissed the back of yours.

"There's some furniture up here," he pointed out to you. "They have some nice stuff."

By the time the two of you had finished your shopping expedition, you came away with several new paintings, a pretty new serving bowl, and an end table  with two matching chairs. Javi had the idea to set them out on the tiny fire escape so you could enjoy your morning coffee together  while the day was still cool.

“Now, which drawer was it?” You muttered to yourself, glancing down at the dresser.  You opened the top right drawer  and  let out a sigh of disappointment. It was a mess of  unmatched  socks and underwear –– a testament to Javi’s displeasure of dressing properly.  _ What a little disaster _ , you shook your head, placing your clothes aside so you could clean the drawer up just a little.

Your fingers hit something hard, and you flinched back a little in surprise. It was tucked away in the furthest corner, unsuspecting in the dark. Cautiously, you pushed one of Javi’s socks to the side and uncovered a soft, blue box. You sucked in a breath. Curiosity clawed at your mind, fingers twitching with a desire to tame the pesky thoughts.

_ I shouldn't. _ You bit your lip as your fingers hovered over the little box  and  glanced back  over your shoulder  to check if Javi was coming. He was preoccupied in the other room, whistling a tune to himself  as he put last night's dishes away . It was a painful opportunity you may never get again.  _ Well, one little peek can't hurt.  _ You slowly opened the box  and  gasp ed quietly.

It was perfect. A raw cut emerald, set in gold prongs on a simple band. On your first or second date, you had rambled on to Javi about how much disdain you held for traditional rings, figuring he had been ignoring you just like your previous boyfriend had.  _ He remembered _ . Tears welled up in your eyes as you examined the ring, nestled between velvet folds, as you cradled the box to your chest.

“Cereza?”

You bit back a startled yelp, quickly clos ed the box and bur ied it back in its original spot. Just as you closed the drawer on your finger, Javi came wandering into the room with a confused expression. “What are you doing in here? Are you ok?”

You whispered a curse, nursing your finger close to your chest. “I’m—I was just putting some clothes away , and my finger got jammed in the drawer.” You smiled weakly up at him, shifting your weight from one leg to the other , hoping he wouldn't notice how nervous you looked.

“Oh, ok.” Javi looked a little concerned  and took your hand in his. He gently brought your finger to his lips  and gave  it a kiss. A few tears rolled down your cheeks, to which Javi swept away, holding your cheek in his palm. “That better?”

“M-much better.”   
“Good, you have to be more careful,” he chuckled lightly. Lowering his hands, he took your uninjured one in his and tugged you forward. “Come on, I need you to help me in the kitchen.”

You followed him down the hall to the small galley kitchen to help him finish cleaning up. There was a definite spring in your step and a smile you couldn't wipe away. 

“You seem awfully happy, am I missing something?” Javi poked at your side as he passed; putting some dishes up on the shelves.

“It’s just because…” You blushed, looking away for a moment.  _ It can't hurt to say it, right? He has a ring so obviously, he feels the same _ . “It’s because I love you.”

“ O h…” Javi looked down and then away, trying to find an out.

You turned your body to face him.  “I’m being serious, Javi. I really do love you.” 

“I – Ok ay .” Javi finally turned away, putting himself back into his work.

“Ok ay ?” you gasped, the idyllic fantasies you had dreamt up of the very moment shattering. This is not how you  thought this would go.

“Um, yeah.” 

Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest, panic sett led in, white hot in your bones. Were you wrong? Did you misunderstand the ring? It was everything you had ever dreamed for — it was perfect ! “Do you... Do you not love me  back ?” you choked out, trying to keep your tears at bay.

“Never said that,” Javi grunted. He slammed the cabinet door shut with a little more force than he needed to, kicking himself in the ass as you flinched.

“Fine.  Just  pretend I never said anything,” you hissed, storming out of the kitchen. Javi called after you, trying to coax you to listen to him, but you slammed the bedroom door in response. 

Javi muttered a curse to himself,  as he  ma de his way over to his couch. It felt weird now — everything was starting to look so bright and happy,  and Javi  had  already fucked it up. The wall before him was blank, soon to be home to  one of the cute tapestr ies you had picked up earlier. But until then, it remained as bland and as boring as Javi’s life was before you. “ I'm such a fucking idiot.”

He wasn’t one to address his emotions - nevermind handle yours properly. Every person was like a ticking time bomb to him, ready to burst into a  flurry of emotions at any second. It scared him. But he couldn't let you sit by yourself in the bedroom,  as you slowly started to resent him . He had to  do  _ something _ , for your sake.

Pushing himself up, Javi slowly made his way to the bedroom. Knocking at the door gently, Javi laid his palm on the doorknob. “Cereza?”

“Go away, Javier. I don't want to talk to you right now.”

Javi sighed, turning around and slumping against the door until he hit the floor with a soft thud. “I’m sorry. I really am. ” He leaned his head against the wood, eyes closed. 

"I said go away, Javier."  Though you tried to sound firm and strong, your  voice was breaking, a series of soft sniffles giving you  away . 

“You remember how I was engaged? Back in Texas?”

You didn’t respond. 

“I left her at the altar. I’ve always said it’s because I didn’t want to involve her in all this DEA stuff. But that wasn’t it.” Javi sighed. “I liked her well enough. She was pretty, and I thought I could spend my life with her. But you know what?”

Javi paused for a second, waiting for you to say anything. You didn’t. Just sniffled. 

“I never told her I loved her. I worried that I couldn’t love anyone.” He turned and put his hand on the door. “But you  mean more to me than Lorraine ever did . I  want you to know that I really do care about you.”

You huffed.  “Do you though? Is there anybody that you love ? Is that something you’re even capable of?”

Javi swallowed thickly at your outburst. He played with the buttons on his shirt, gathering his courage  for what he was about to say . 

“My mom.”

You gasped  softly  from the other side of the door. 

“The last person I said I love you to was my mom.  Last thing I ever said to her.” Javi felt a lump in his throat, one that always appeared when he thought too much about his mom.  "It was the last thing she ever said to me too.”

You bit your lip, guilt washing over you; it wasn’t right of you to get so upset with him. You'd been so caught up in your own emotions, you never took the time to consider how Javi felt. Slowly, you reached up and opened the door, eyes falling on the sight of his hunched shoulders. Turning around, you scooted back until your body hit his, head falling back between his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry for getting upset, Javi,” you mumbled quietly.

“I’m sorry too, Cereza. I’m so sorry.”

You took a deep breath, hand reaching back, fingers brushing over his. He took your hand gingerly, almost as if he was afraid to touch you. “You tell me when you’re ready, Javi, okay? I’ll wait for you forever, mi pollito.”

“I – Okay,” he sighed in defeat. He wished that he could say it. He really did. Silence fell over the room, his fingers fidgeting and squeezing yours a little. “Uh –– how can I make it up to you?” He asked, turning back to look at you.

“I think I have an idea…”

The sun had fully set by the time you and Javi finally ‘made up’ after your argument, keeping the room cool as a light breeze pushed past the balcony doors and laved against your exposed back. Somewhere in those few hours you had forgotten for a moment what brought you there, the utter fear of the weight behind your hearts lost in a dance of passion.

You sighed softly, shifting against Javi’s side. Your leg was thrown over his thigh, caging it in while your palm rested flat against his chest—feeling the steady  _ thump thump thump _ of his heartbeat. Slowly you began to drag your fingers back and forth, mirroring his as they traced lazy patterns onto your shoulder. Your fingers swept lower, ghosting at his small belly before meeting his half-hard self.

“Already?” You teased, tightening your grip as you moved on top of him. “It’s only been a few minutes.”

“You love it, ” Javi shot back with a lazy smile, shaking his head at your shenanigans. You shrugged indifferently, stroking him tenderly. 

Before you could do any more, the loud cry of the telephone broke the peace of the bedroom. Startled, you nearly fell forward, gripping Javi’s shoulders for support. 

“Great fucking timing, ” he hissed, trying to move out from under you.

“ Baby,  leave it, I'm sure it's nothing,” you hummed, leaning down to nip at the shell of his ear.  "Come on, let the machine get it."

Javi grunted as he managed to get out from beneath you, reaching for the receiver.

“Peña.” 

The caller wasted no time, not even letting Javi open his mouth.

“Carrillo? It’s—” Javi glanced over at the clock, squinting  to read the numbers on the display . “It’s 10 at night, can it wait till tomorrow morning?” 

"We got him. Holding him at the safehouse."

“I’ll be there right away, ” Javi was already halfway out of the bed as he hung up, tearing through his drawers. He tugged on his jeans from earlier, not  even bothering to throw on underwear. 

You sat up, confused.  “Where are you going?” You pouted, watching Javi run around like a chicken without its head. “It’s so late…”

“I’ve got to go take care of some work things. Don’t wait up,” he paused, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead. Javi pulled away for a second, but you wrapped your fingers around his shirt, tugging on it. You pulled yourself up a little,  your lips puckered as you urg ed him down to your level. His lips met yours,  and he pull ed away only so his forehead could rest against yours. “I’ll be back later. I promise.”

“Be careful, mi pollito,” you whispered, finally letting him go.

You tried to stay awake, but truth be told, you didn't even hear him leave through the front door. 

“Steve, get out here ! ” Javi shouted, pounding on the Murphys’ front door  with the flat of his hand. After a few moments, the door flung open with a very angry looking Steve  on the other side. He lean ed against the doorframe  in nothing but his boxers and a white undershirt, his hair slightly rumpled from sleep.

“It’s like, quarter after ten, Javier, what the _fuck_ could you possibly want?”   
“They got the guy,” Javi grunted. “Go get dressed, we're going to the safehouse. Unless you’re still on your bullshit.”

Steve paused  as he processed what Javi told him for a moment before  he sighed in defeat  and threw his hand up in exasperation . “Alright, give me a minute.”

“Colonel.” Javi nodded at the man as they approached him. Carrillo’s arms were crossed over his chest, stoic face unbothered by the duo’s arrival. “So what’s the verdict?”

“Found him leaving the building across from your complex. Had a whole film full of pictures of you and your girl. Didn't put up much of a fight once we surrounded him.” Carrillo lowered his arms, hand pressed to the doorknob as he pushed the door open. “I’d shove him around myself, but I figured you would like to do the honors yourself.”

Javi followed him down the stairs  with Steve close behind , the rancid stench of the safehouse assaulting every single one his senses. He never understood how Carrillo and his men could stand it down there.  As they turned down the hall, Steve muttered a quiet, " Holy  shit" as the scene became clearer. Strung upside down like a pig on a spit roast, a nude man hung before Javi. Anger and disgust and  _ rage _ boiled in Javi’s very core —  he didn't even want to  _ look _ at the sick fuck.

Brandishing a knife, Carrillo approached the figure like a cat with a canary. With a few, quick motions, the man came toppling down. He crumpled up into a ball as he hit the ground with a thud. Carrillo pressed his boot on his temple and moved it to the side with ease. A low groan erupted from the otherwise unmoving body. He was awake, if only barely.

Satisfied, Carrillo stepped back  and slipp ed the knife into his pocket as he brushed shoulders with the agents.  He patted Javi on the back and flashed him a wicked look. “He’s all yours. Just don't kill him, Javier.” 

As the colonel left, Javi glanced over at Steve, who shrugged lightly. “Do what you gotta do, man. You heard him.” 

Javi looked down at the man on the floor, who was holding the shoulder that took the brunt of the fall. Disgust curled in his stomach, fists clenching and unclenching as thoughts raced through Javi’s mind. He wanted to kill this fucker––it was the only way to restore you of the peace he had stolen.

“Levántate,” Javi snarled, boot nudging the man’s shoulder harshly. When he didn’t move, rage surged through Javi’s veins; his hand lunged down to wrap around the unresponsive man’s throat.

“Cuando hablo, me escuchas. ¿Entiende s ?”

He nodded weakly, gulping dryly against the press of Javi’s fingers, unable to verbally respond. Javi shook with anger, fists tightening as the airy gasps of the man became high pitched whistles; hands crushing his windpipe. The was a distant ‘fuck’ behind Javi, the beat of his pulse too loud for him to process the panic until Steve’s hands met the back of Javi’s elbows, trying to urge him to ease up. Javi relented, hands falling to his sides as the man gasped for air. His moment of reprieve was short-lived, though.

Javi’s fist connected with his jaw with a sickening crack, a grunt of pain escaping the pervert. His hands wrapped around the man’s throat again, throwing him onto the floor like a ragdoll––skull slamming into the concrete with a dull thud. The man crumpled beneath the pummel of fists raining down on him, Javi’s morals out the window with each blow.

He backed up for a moment, panting as he cracked his split knuckles. The man on the floor was already a bloody mess, hands hovering over his broken nose.

“¿Cómo te llamas?” Javi growled out, using his foot to push the man’s hands away from his face. 

“Ma–” He gasped, choking on his breath. “Mateo.”

“Mateo... _ Mateo _ ,” Javi nodded between the pause. “Mateo, quién te dio las órdenes?”

The man gasped for breath.  “Poison.”

_ Poison.  _ Javi's vision went red for a moment , and he delivered one swift, final kick to Mateo's ribs. He wanted to fucking kill this kid, make him pay, make him  _ suffer. _ How much trauma had this one man caused for you? How many hours, or  _ years _ of therapy were ahead of you because of one fucking person?

He dropped to one knee and pulled Mateo up by his collar, nose to nose with him. "¿Dónde está?" Javi yelled. He shook the kid, not even caring about his own desperation. "¡¿Dónde está?!" He was so  _ fucking  _ angry. He wanted nothing more than to find Poison and make him pay. 

Javi threw Mateo down to the ground. It didn't even occur to him that the kid was unconscious until he went to cuff him and he didn't move. Not that it mattered. Carrillo could be patient when he wanted to be. He'd want the fucking sicko to be awake.

He wiped his bloody hands off on his jeans and turned to face Steve, who just raised an eyebrow. "Feel better?"

"Hey, fuck you," he grumbled. "Don't act like you wouldn't do that for Connie."

Steve reached into his pocket and offered Javi a cigarette. He reached over and flicked the lighter beneath Javi's lips. "I'm not saying anything. I probably would have killed the guy."

"He knows where Poison is," Javi said as he let out a lungful of smoke. "Carrillo can get it out of him."

“Peña, antes de que te vayas.” Carrillo nodded at Javi, reaching back into his pocket. The camera. “ Es tuyo .” 

Carrillo dropped the machine into Javi’s palm,  as well as a small stack of Polaroids .  He  patt ed his shoulder before turning back to disappear into the safehouse.  The door shut with a bang as it sealed in the man's fate at the hands of Horacio Carrillo.

The camera felt like a  lead  weight in his hand,  and Javi  was unable to tear his eyes from the  accursed object.  As he lean ed against the wall, Javi went against his urge to destroy the  damned thing ,  and chose  instead to  look through all the  pictures .

Bile rose in Javi's throat as he flipped through the stack of photos. He felt his heart rate increase and sweat ran down his back - but not from the heat.  _ He had been watching them all night. _

A picture taken from behind in the market earlier that day. A picture of the front of their apartment building with Javi's Jeep parked out front. A photo of the fire escape outside Javi's window. He only knew it was his from the potted plants you'd put outside "to brighten things up." Though the picture was taken from a distance, he could see you, already in bed, your shirt and bra missing from the frame.

Javi's blood ran cold as he flipped over the next picture. You, in the heat of passion, caged by his own arms as he hovered over you.  _ Jesus fucking Christ. _

"I gotta go home," he said. He was surprised at how his own voice could sound so far away to his own ears. "Steve... let's go."

The apartment was silent as Javi trudged through the front door, blearily looking around. His nausea had been tamed by several pitstops much to Steve’s chagrin, but it was better than cleaning up the mess he would have left in the bathroom with your  concerned, sleepy words behind him. He crossed the threshold, making a beeline to the bathroom. There would definitely be a trail of dried blood behind him, but that was far from Javi’s thoughts.

He gave the shower hardly anytime to warm up, settling with just standing under the cold spray until it turned blisteringly hot. Javi’s drooped head watched as the rusty, caked blood washed off his body—swirling around his feet before washing away. Bruised and cracked knuckles weeped as their scabs were peeled away, stripped away from Javi. If he wasn't so tired, Javi would’ve felt the soft sting in his eyes, a singular tear washed away with his rage.

Once the water ran cold again, Javi peeled himself from his thoughts. Shutting off the water, he made his way out, stopping in front of the mirror to dry off. It was half-assed, Javi too eager to get back to you to even dry the mop of soft locks that stuck to his forehead and curled at the nape of his neck.  _ It’s fine, it will dry tonight _ . 

Stepping out of the bathroom, Javi paused at the door, slumping against the frame as his eyes set on your sleeping form. You looked angelic, curled up in his old t-shirt with the sheets bunched up in your weak fist. Lips soft and pouted, so calm and relaxed under the dim ray of moonlight. It was the first night where you weren't a bit fitful, all fears gone now that you were in the safety of Javi’s apartment. He would never be able to tell you about the photos—not when you were finally at peace.

Pushing off the wall, Javi crept  quietly  across the bedroom. He lazily tugged on a pair of boxers, too tired and fed up to put on anything else. Javi crawled into the bed next to you, pulling you to face him. Making sure you were asleep still, Javi sighed quietly, looking you up and down. So ethereal and sweet. Silence fell over the bedroom, Javi  got  lost in the steady lull of your breathing, thinking hard. Thoughts of your tears came back to him, the way you shook whenever the phone rang, how you were so afraid despite your stubborn denial. It made Javi’s heart break.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, I promise, ”  Javi whispered. He brushed your hair out of the way, letting his knuckle sweep over your cheek—too soft for such a cruel world. Javi paused, gulping down his own fears as you slept before him, unknowing of what he had done and what he would do. Leaning forward, his lips met your forehead, lingering there for a moment before he lowered his head until his forehead was pressed against yours.

“I love you.” 

Pulling away, Javi flipped over with a grunt, pulling the sheets up to his shoulders. After several minutes, his breathing slowed, a rumbling snore erupting from him every so often. It was peaceful. Still. 

Your eyes flew open, wide as you stared at his back. It—It didn't seem right.  _ It had to be a dream, right?  _ You tried to keep calm, your tears of doubt welling up in your eyes.  _ Javi doesn't love. He said it himself. It's nothing to get upset about...It was only a dream… _

_ A dream. _

Your night was restless, to say the least. Every thought seemed to crash through your brain like a train off the rails. Admitting your feelings to Javi was beyond embarrassing — the man obviously didn't feel the same. It didn't make  _ sense _ for him to. The ring...it was nothing. He's been engaged before, it could have been for someone else. Someone in the past, someone right before you. You were only living with him because it was safer; you had never spoken about it before it became a necessity.

Getting up and out of bed, you  wiped away the tears for the millionth time, sighing softly. It was best to not linger on those thoughts, they suck you in and spit you out , shattered. Javi’s shirt carried his cologne well, the smell bringing a smile to your face. Maybe you could dream for just a little while longer…

_ Javi doesn’t do commitment. He doesn’t want to be tied down,  _ you reminded yourself as you made your way into the kitchen. But the sight before you — why did it feel so real? 

Javi was hurrying around the kitchen, fetching toast as it popped up and flipping the slices of bread onto plates. Then he ran to the stove  and fish ed eggs out of a pan. Fresh fruits were scattered across the table, a glass jug of orange juice placed to the side. 

“Good morning, Cereza, ” he smiled, slowing down to take you in his arms. His lips met yours for a quick peck  and he wrapped  his  arms tightly around you.

“Good morning, pollito, ” you cooed  as you reach ed up to  fluff his ruffled hair. “How did last night go?”

A grim look flashed across his face for a second before he smiled.  “You shouldn't have anything to worry about anymore.” Javi pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling away.

“Huh?” You gave him a quizzical look before shaking your head with a smile. Maybe it was better not to know what he meant. You picked up a handful of cherries, and rinsed them off quickly before popping one into your mouth. The sweet juice washed over your tongue, and you looked up at him in surprise. “Javi, these are delicious, where did you get them?”

“The market by your old place,” he shrugged, sliding your plate of toast and eggs over to you. He took his seat across from you, and you sat down to join him.

“The market — Javi!  That's so far!  Why did you go all the way over there?”

“Wanted to get you some juice...ended up picking up some fruit along the way, ” he grunted, starting to pick away at the pile of food on his plate. “It’s no big deal, Cereza. Just wanted to treat you now that you’re all moved in.” 

You reached across the table towards him, palm open and upwards against the formica. Whether he said it or not, you knew how he felt. That was enough for now.

"Thank you," you murmured.

Javi glanced down at your hand and reached out to slide his palm against yours. His own fingers felt rough and calloused, but they were so warm against your skin.

Yes, this was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting - we got a bit held up with chapter 8! We're still here!

**Author's Note:**

> Authors: some are not on Ao3 -  
> @MiscellaneousMando  
> @Lestrange2703  
> @summerontatooine  
> @sydnubabu  
> and me - @smarchit


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